Nicron #38 13 июня 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

   Three prostitutes are sitting at the bar, and one complains 
about the others: 

   -Today is a bad day ... I earned only $ 100 has

   mouth 4 times for $ 50, and half took a pimp ... Other

   answers her:-That's nothing - I now earn $ 50

   - Only 2 blowjob for $ 50, and also half a pimp ...

   Sitting next to an old prostitute says: "You do not know

   what a bad life ... During the Great Depression to me

   sometimes had 10 times a day to do blowjob

   is free, only to have to eat something

   hot ...


   After a night with the guy, the girl asked him: - Dear,

   you have a certificate of AIDS is? - Yes. - Well, it can

   break.


   Chukchi call in help Aeroflot: - Devyushka as

   fly a plane from Moscow to Murmansk? - ... one

   wait a minute ... - Thanks, devyushka.


   Mighty man mows the field. Suddenly sees - rushing the field

   two innovators. - Hey, man, here we have

   efficiency suggestion: that's what you kosish skew one way 
the grass 

   falls, and back to your net.Davay we spit another

   will bind only in the opposite direction, production will 
rise 

   and all that. Well, tied, mowing down a man on. Mowed,

   mowed - it was dark, nothing is visible. Sat down to rest. 
Again 

   innovators bear. - Come on we want you to spit lantern

   will bind - will be in the dark to mow. Tied a lantern.

   Mowed the man, squinting - for the night all the field 
mowed. In the morning 

   decided to go into the city - to buy plaster for blisters.

   Leaves the pharmacy - glya, innovators meet. Here

   he hands in his legs and run. Innovators do not lag behind. 
He has 

   faster. Hears yelling: - Stop, man, stop. We'll

   Award to wish for the introduction of rationalization 
proposals! - U-FF, and 

   I thought you would like me to link back rake, so that

   rake up behind him.


   Teacher - Children in some games you can play well

   together? Masha - In the city! Misha - The Checkers! 
Vovochka - In 

   domino! Teacher - What? Vovochka - I went yesterday I

   hours in two nights to the bedroom ... And mom and dad said: 
"I 

   finished ...", and my mother answered him: "Well, kid!"


   Drunk driver after the flight is included in an apartment, 
picks up 

   shoe brush, looks into it: - Well, no shit myself

   overgrown .......


   In the near future. Caught animals in the forest hedgehog 
long 

   decided well, what kind of animal such. Well, nothing in the 
head 

   does not come. Board decided to go and ask. Listen,

   Sowa, Che is a beast so, tell, eh? " Owl hiding

   jamb behind her back took the hedgehog, landed on the wing 
by pulling it 

   before him, exhaling clubs dope, so weary

   voice .... -So what are you ... Reindeer ...


   Vova suitable to the Pope: - Dad, Grandma and what it zigzags

   runs? - To my grandmother, and to whom, and mother-in-law! 
MORE CHUCK! 


   Choose the synagogue rabbi. Abram stands: "Let's

   elect Haim, he is a great man, neat in

   work, good family man, etc. etc. etc. ... "A voice from the

   back row: Chaim certainly a good man, but he

   daughter b #% $! This may also compromise it! "Abram:

   "Excuse me, but Haim never had daughters! He

   all sons! "Voice:" My job is to say, and you are on

   sort it out. "


   Zeki play what? Where? When?. Moderator: Camera number

   three answer? Replied! -Prootvechalis. Your point

   given to the audience.


   Invented bespectacled alcohol 300 ° and even decided it is 
popularly 

   experience. Ride - watch the hay man stirs ... - Man,

   he likes to drink? - Well! Gave him a stack - and themselves 
in 

   shelter ... ... out - a man stands naked and finger

   asshole stuffed ... 8-O???? - Man, what are you doing? -

   $%#$^$%^'!!!!! Well #$%$%^#%$ you gorilka: ^ O. I

   bzdo like to understand: once perdnul - clothes burned, so

   finger in the ass and shoved to the hay did not do ...