Nicron #34 15 мая 1997

Самиздат

Story - Well, user, wait a minute! (Continued).

 ° °

                      OU, user, wait!
 ° °



(C) MDF HACKER

    (A guide to extract the maximum pleasure
         of their duties)

             The fifth day, continuation


"I just blue ..." "But you need chernaya kraska.Mozhet
be, you have oil or watercolor, or, at worst, gouache?
"" There! My daughter draws! And just today I bought her a
gift set of oil paints! "" Well, then proceed. "
Good you had a printer ....... "Remove the cover from
printera.Privinchena? Unscrew. "

"Wow, I've been a cable hooked up." "Nothing
okay, shut-pita him back. "If you can find it
former place, flag your hands ..... "Now open chernuyu
korobochku.Tam is tape. "" Oh! "I knew you had
not smart enough to hold the tape. Never mind, I have the time
have fun. "What?"? " Concern in his voice moem
unforgeable ... There comes a critical moment. "Tape and had 
the whole unwound! "" Do not be nervous, Reel ee nazad.No twist

tighter, or not together. "Not a bad start. make it
wind tape I would have guessed.

Tyazheloe sniff. A few swear words in those moments when it
suit and glasses in contact with the tape. Certainly, it fresh, 
and perfectly greasy, but I could not, in fact, say

him: "Put the switch to paper thickness in the least!"
"Done?" Well Do not block the box. " The Council wish
repeat the experiment: no nazavayte kertridzh kertridzhem,
it may frighten the user .... "Take a tube of paint and
squeeze it inside. "The word" inside "here-key. It is
beznadezhnyh to separate from those who exist yet be saved from 
the most veselyh effects .. My new friend refers to

beznadezhnym in no doubt about it.

"Squeezed. What to do with the tape?" Rate humor of the 
situation. Man deshevym with a sense of humor would have said 
something like "zasun'te ee itself ...", but it is not so 
NashBOFH. I helped him to finish and end This will be 
disastrous. We, the nurses computer forests can not leave the 
stupidity to go unpunished. "Do you really pushed the paint in 
PRINTER?? Naletom with frost in his voice I specify myself. 
"Yes, why?" "Immediately remove ee there! She can close the 
contacts! Do it as you like, but be quick! "Sorry, I do not see 
this picture. Go, or what? No, it can soften me.


A call to the ambulance psychiatric "with a message that he 
suddenly fancied himself a Negro, has ushel. In his personal 
section "Medicine" is already an entry about a strange attitude 
toward blacks and printers. "Ready?" And now Vse same grease 
your ribbon color. " "But I wiped ee newspapers ..." "Well, rub 
the tape at least these gazetami.I faster - the paint can dry 
out. "I really afraid of this - the paint should dry up as 
early as printer.


It is a pity that there is no time to make him turn on the 
printer with God knows where stuck wire and shriveled into a 
monolith tape. The siren is heard outside. But never mind, this 
printer will someone else more than a reminder of what should 
abstain bother wasting NashegoBOFH Friday 13.


            Day Six

Despite (or perhaps because of) Friday (s) 13, I
good mood, I almost got to the last stage
FlipFlop'a, and the only moe desire - that I was not too
distracted. But what can you do, apparently, is the fate of 
NashegoBOFH, that is me ... As usual, at the most inopportune 
moment great music emanating from my Sound Blaster'a,

invades a knock at the door. Under mournful chords that 
accompany the moe defeat, I come to the door, opened the ee, 
and ... 

It should be noted that moe breathing was interrupted only for 
a moment, despite the well ... um ... nonweak spectacle, which 
arose in proeme door. Starting from pricheski-style explosion 
at the Pasta factory, "and ending with shapely legs in the semi 
chernyh stockings, and, of course, going through a little smile 
and smuschenuyu more worthy of mention, Vse vydaet it

foreigner. "Would you be so kind ..." she chirps,
modestly downcast eyes.

"I will, I'll ..." I politely respond. As used to say the 
classics "There will be, skewers of you will." No, I do not 
mean ... A however ... While on the other side? .. Who knows, 
who knows ... "I from the Editor 'BOFH news' ", she says 
delicately. I, Of course, pretend to believe, though not more 
than half an hour ago contacted the editor about the special 
issue "and NashBOFH all-all-all, and no mention of such a visit 
does not remember. "May I come in?" she inquired.


I'm too pogruzhen in the question as BOFH finds excuses
for anger in the country, such naselennoy polite individuals, on
At least, female, and not protest. She flit
the threshold, and sent to my computer.

"Oops," I feebly protest, does not exist yet until the end came 
to himself from ee smell of spirits, but it was too late. The 
floppy disk is in drive, and the hand entered on Enter'om. Very 
nice hand, if we speak objectively, although s. She breathes 
sepulchral cold. "Wait, where standing, "it reasonably informs 
me." And do not make any sudden movements. " 

In general, I do not need them to do my program and for 
themselves itself can stand, but moe curiosity yields the I 
miss you. A conversation is a sharp movement? "risk clarify

I am. "Well, just do something, do not ... At least, I nothing 
about it saying, "frightened her own courage.


"Sorry for the somewhat indelicate question," I try to stay
the bounds of decency, "but what a scum could cause such a ..." 
I appreciatively consider ee and explains "... nice

representative of the hacker tribe to take up the dirty work? "
"Not your business!"

I duly appreciate the fact that even in a harsh moment it is not
able to move on "you", but Vse also went up to her and not 
paying attention to the frantic clicking Enter'a, s. She took 
away the floppy. 

"Sit here for five minutes, please," I try not to drop
the level of conversation, "until I see, what brought you here 
..." 

She was so surprised by the failure of that obediently sits 
down, and rather bleary-eyed looks on the screen. In general, 
it is hardly to blame, thirty seconds of my system 
identification explains to me that the CIA, KGB, and exist yet 
eighteen (18) intelligence services have undertaken a joint 
effort to penetrate the secrets NashegoBOFH, and only this 
girl, according to computer experts, could have something take. 
But do not overlook is a great opportunity ... 

"You know what happened?" a tone of deep confidence in their
words, I declare. "Your discs have suffered from a powerful 
charge static electricity. And how do you think, where did this

charge? .. Your stockings! They're synthetic. "

"How? .. I failed svoe last and most important task for
stockings?? "almost crying she said.

"Did you remove them," I advise.
"Like right here?"
"And where is exist yet? Who you entrust exist yet one more 
task, if they know the failure of this? "I said softly. Though 
she BOFH, but for such behavior relies nakazanie.Na street 
winter, -25 ° C. And in the engine Hall of -5 ° C, for 
NashBOFH, alas, Nash, and in the engine room did not flush ... 

Light in the room goes off smoothly, there are only zvezdochki 
Norton'a. This system worked AI, launched in an attempt to 
penetrate into Network programming my guest. She knows 
something (the system is, of course), as prevent excess light 
in such cases. And when she (again, system) knows how much work 
she has spent on the destruction of very, very steep software 
of my guest. 

A few minutes passed, "But this jump at the CIA and a Security
Check, and if we do it .. "... it took me several hours ..." But
MOSSAD are usually ... "

Sooner or later I'll go to her mansion on the shores of the 
Mediterranean Sea (do not ask where I have it - you do not 
understand the whole bitokratii charm), and I do not exclude 
that there will not be alone. Guess with treh times, who will 
be the second. Wrong - the computer. But here it will be third, 
though she herself of it does not exist yet knows. AND then we 
will not niggle ... 

3 shows the most interesting thing (we just broke up
another "pyssvord" KGB) rang a call-back NashBOFH
komuto needed. Well, a lodge here this poor
Lyapkin-Tyapkina!


           (To be continued)