Nicron #28 03 апреля 1997

Юмор

Humor - anecdotes.

 *

Three cat meet, argue those who are lazy. - Yesterday I was 
lying on the floor and fell off the table banger. Since I was 
too lazy to go and eat ... - And to me yesterday mistress 
saucer of milk under the nose set, and I lap up lazy ... - Have 
you heard the cries yesterday? So I imagine this is an egg 
come. It hurts, but too lazy to lift a paw ... 

                *

Lies a crocodile in the sun tans. Past the frog floats, yes
such obomlevshaya, happy, stoned. Envious crocodile was. -
Frog, why are you so happy? - Gene, kiss me! - You cho,
green, I'll not know how! - Well, a kiss, as you know how! - 
Fu, and even so disgusting! - Well, I beg you ... - Well ... 
Missing her mouth, chewed and spat out. Frog, wiping his lips: 
- Now, now! No aspirated!


                *

Hare all the time hid the moonshine under the tree. Wolf 
addicted pull a rabbit moonshine. Hare, wolf to wean, poured 
into the bottle hydrochloric acid and buried. The next day the 
wolf asked: - Well, yesterday brew? - Kaif! How are you such a 
clean doing? Only now when the fence possysh, some nails

remain ....

                *

Parrot partner bought for $ 1000. He began to pluck it,
saying: - That dear partner, I was not. I want to
see what she looks like naked.

                *

Bear caught a hedgehog. And do not know where he rear, where 
the front. Called to bear the hare, fox, wolf, but they do not 
know. Then Bear says the Hedgehog: "You have a hedgehog though 
perdnul for orientation. 

                *

There were three sisters, kitty. Younger on the farm and two 
guleny. Younger tired. Decided gulnut. Waiting for her elders. 
Hour of the night two, three, five, seven stated. - Oh, sister, 
met cat in red boots and a handsome man. As the night pressed 
me to cellar door and through the night, all night ... told how 
his Five years ago, castrated.


                *

Soon after the launch into space Flies and Bees of them came
radio: "We'll die, but do not go back."

                *

I can not get rid of the bugs in the sofa, what to do? - And you
did not try to make a sofa out in the winter? - Tried. - Well
how? - They will wear it backwards!

                *

Put the hare - assistant warden of the forest. Well the new 
year all the animals gathered - have to dress the tree and the 
hare does not give a Christmas tree, too strict hurt. Well, the 
fox persuaded animals, they say you are the most cunning, and 
that's Ask the hare. Comes the fox the hare: - Bunny, honey, let

my Christmas tree .... - No way, damn it. - Bunny, well, a 
little ... - Said Che No way, period! - Bunny, well, you can at 
least pine tree? Hare, thought ... - Okay. Pine, Cheb nobody 
saw, take the birch and go ...


                *

Smoked eagle scary, soared high on the mountain and sits.
Looked to the left. - Mountains! Well ... Beautiful ... Looked
right. - Mountains! Well ... Beautiful ... Good ... but if 
yourself in ass bite - pain ...


                *

Monkeys are discussing their husbands: - My husband - an 
orangutan, he was humanoid ... - And I have - monkey, he's so 
clever ... - A I have - a crocodile. - Because he's green, 
cool, and generally crocodile! - And on the other hand goes 
into the sea! 

                *

Passes a football match between elephants and ants. Well
respectively elephant won. After the game captain
elephants coming to the captain of the ants and says: - Sorry
you know, today we have so much of your trampled. - X: $ /: AE, 
we too rough play!