ZX Time #05 14 декабря 2001

Юмор

and laughter, and a sin - fun with college partners.

And laughter, and sin


                              Golden Max


  Most of these jokes I
transcribed from the desks of his institute. For 4
course, that such a collection:

The less a woman going on a
put, the more time it for this
necessary.

The ideal man does not drink or smoke, does not
play cards, do not argue and do not exist.

Started all the cultural, as completed can not remember.

Death without reason - a sign of bullying.

Born on himself - by helping others.

"Rest" at their summer cottage, you know,
that humpback not born but becomes.

If a girl says "no" - then it
not a diplomat.

The wife then begins to "cut" when her husband
becomes a "log".

And a good relationship is sometimes necessary to find out.

A woman will do anything for love, even
make love. A man ready for anything
for the sake of making love, even love.

If the girl for a long time to care for, is one - or to marry, 
or quarrel. 

In love, loses his mind in a marriage notice this loss.

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that carry
it has two, sometimes three.

The girl - a cartridge, which in any
moment can give misfire. That's better
have their entire clip.

Who was a student, he saw a youth who
was a soldier, he saw life.

Oath girl like the sound of empty glass.

Girls! Respect guys at least for the fact
that they are giving you the most expensive "youth".

"Love without pain is not" - said the hare
and embraced a hedgehog.

Stand girl, standing on the sidelines, handkerchiefs in hand 
fingering, because at 10 Girls Statistics 7 does not want.


Seems to me you do not give up!

Oriental women are good to horrible,
as well as during and after the ugliness ugliness.

Attractive girls are distracting.

Otpey seven times - once otley.

No need to have friends - they must be friends with.

From non-compliance with safety
people can not just die, but
born.

Insane girl - a girl, which in
the end of sexual intercourse screaming: "Not me!".

A woman wants a lot from one man, and
a man wants one of many women.

Learn from our mistakes after mistakes are treated.

If the wife has ceased to fuck your brains -
cheerleaders, because someone began to fuck
your wife.

Love at first vzblyada.

Not easily zasunesh and there.

God gave man two heads. But the blood so
few that think they have to queue.

Love is like a fire, do not stick kinesh - disappears.

Can not find the key to my heart girl, try to pick another 
place. 

Love is like fishing, do not bite - reel
rods.

If you're smarter than vsex who will understand?

Miser pays twice, three times blunt, and
Elaeagnus - permanently.

If you do not have girls, it means that someone
then two of them!

Women's logic lies in two words: "I want" (in pancake someone 
noticed). 

Slogan DPI: cosine and score.

If you work for three, then three
drink for you.

In pharmacies, a new drug, Viagra light. " After it pulls just 
kissing. 

It is pleasant to lie on the bare floor, especially
if it is the opposite.

Today I found a hand grenade - Khan's mother
dean.

What better visible breasts, the more difficult to remember the 
face. 

On the wrong foot godmother went to dance.

And the wolves are fed and the sheep are safe, and the shepherd
eternal memory.

Enough nonsense do we have them and
as three. (Almost to our newspaper)

Each parent has its + and - as
from any battery.

You are so clever. You skull is not too tight?

Strive not with a girl over nothing, guard forces for a major 
scandal. 

Say Drugs: "We still have not vodka
over! "

Naked girls is never too much.

Long tongue, just in the wrong direction.

The most dangerous creature - a toad. She crushed more than 
half of the world ball.


Sometimes only Overshot; understand
how did you get!

In the Donbas patience overflows
glasses.

A man chases a woman until she
it does not catch.

Life insurance enables you to live in poverty and die in the 
wealth. 

Looking for an attractive wife's mother, the daughter has
values.

Children are interested in the question of where all taken, and 
the adults - where everything disappears. 

Girls can do everything, only some
shy.

If the wife tells her husband that he is smart, so she 
understands: the second such a fool she can not find. 

Any skirt looks better on the back
chair.

If you have a headache - she thinks about beer.

If the goal is not located in the head, then
not in that head hit.

Girl you are studying, or already know?

Get up early in the morning, drink a spoonful of mercury and
go podohnu in this institute.

Ring around obschyagi women in scattered
"OM", know bro, it will stop there
critical days.

Tampax delivery and installation.

Selling fins patent on a high
heel.

You shall love your lecturer, for a dog -
man's best friend.


                 - - -

And lastly, the expression of our prepadov.
Just want to say - the most stringent Komov
teachers:

Friday the 4 th pair - it is fate. "

                            (Komov AB)

"8-th position, in my opinion, the most interesting"

                               (Sovenko)

"Imagine that my penis is less than I-that"

        (Explaining the operator IF,

                           Korolev, ME)


                 - - -

All of this 4-year gathering, I Golden
Max / K.C.Soft. Fun with mats I did not print, although there 
is great:). 


                 - - -

DWT>>> The following anecdote sent Borman.


         Short Course in Sociology:


  Feudalism: You have two cows.
Local lord takes you some milk.


  Socialism: You have two cows. The government takes them and 
puts them in stall with the other cows. You have to take care 
of all cows. Government gives you as much milk as you need.



  Bureaucratic Socialism: You have
two cows. The government takes them and
put in a stall with the other cows. About
take care man, who had bred chickens. You have to take care of 
the hen. The government gives you milk and eggs in quantities 
set by the rules. 


  Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires 
you take care of them and sells you the milk.



  Communism: You have two cows. Your
neighbors help you take care of them, and
you share with your neighbors milk.


  Soviet Communism: You have two
cows. You care about them, but the government takes all the 
milk. 


  Dictatorship: You have two cows. The government takes them 
and shoots you. 


  Militarism: You have two cows.
Government confiscates them, and takes you into the army.


  Democracy: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets 
the milk. 


  Electoral democracy: You have two
cows. Your neighbors pick kogonibud who will come to you and 
tell you who get milk.



  American Democracy: Government
promises you two cows if you vote for him. After the election, 
President subjected to impeachment for speculation

future cows. Press inflates hype
around the "mad cow scandal."


  Singaporean Democracy: You have
two cows. Government fines you
for keeping animals without a license
wrong place.


  British Democracy: You have two
cows. You feed them with anything and they
ill with rabies. Government
idle.


  Bureaucracy: You have two cows.
The Government issued a circular: the more they
can be fed and when milking. Then it
you pay extra, so you do not milked.
After that, it takes both cows, one
scores, the second milking, and pours the milk
down the drain. Then you need to submit the paper to explain 
the lack of cows. 


  Anarchy: You have two cows. Or
you sell the milk at a tolerable price, or
your neighbors kill you and take the cows.


  Capitalism: You have two cows. You
sell one and buy a bull.


  Hong Kong Capitalism: You have
two cows. You sell three of them, a firm that belongs to you is 
using the letters of your son in law, then performs a complex 
financial transaction in during which get all four cows back, 
which allows you to reduce tax for the maintenance of the 
balance of the five cows. The right to milk six cows are 
transferred via an intermediary company in Panama on 
Kaymanovskih islands, which then sells the rights to all seven 
cows milk back to your company. Annual report shows that the 
company owns eight cows, and have the opportunity to purchase a 
further one. Meanwhile, you kill her

the two cows because it is all too
difficult.


  Environmental Protection: Do you have
two cows. The Government pursues
you if you doite them, or, especially,
decide to score.


  Feminism: You have two cows. They
marry and adopt telenochka.


  Liberalism: You have two cows. One of them read the 
Constitution, believes in human rights and supports the 
government. She participates in elections, and then While most 
people agree that the cow - the best candidate, the second

Cow wins the election.


  Totalitarianism: You have two cows.
The government takes them and denies they ever existed in the
nature. Milk is banned.


  Surrealism: You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take
lessons on the harmonica.


                 *