Think #35 23 августа 1999

Юмор

Notes on Hevinnom Buddhist - Humor.

        Notes of the innocence of a Buddhist

          Written and recorded

              Wine fornication



             (C) LCD Vorobiev


  Note 1. Who is innocent Buddhist?

             (Appearance)


  The sun had intended to sit at the bamboo
grove, when a misty horizon, appeared the figure of a person 
suffering from a lack of hair on his head. His hands held a 
small rug, it is not clear yet why intended, obviously, not in 
order, so hang on a wall pagoda. On his lips there was

so warm and kind smile, that animals
approached him and handed him paws, hooves, tails, and trunks 
... 


        IT was an innocent Buddhist!


  Note 2. Innocent Buddhists and Baobab.


  NB sat in the shade of Baobab and engaged
gradual withdrawal from reality,
so that when a strong breeze from the Baobab fell on the head 
of NB, is not led by any of its members, only his eyes fixed on 
one point, focusing on the future of the world. A Baobab 
returned to former state.



  Note 3. NB eating grass.


  Season ended and the tropical rain
NB, after months of Golodov found at
their feet wild growing grass. In the stomach of
him, that is, that is left of it
thundered and roared loudly. NB narwhal
grass and thoroughly chewed (ie 33
times), and swallowed it. Waiting a little longer, I do not
knowing why, he went to, well, and when he returned, he 
discovered that he had fallen off very important part of his 
innocent body, and moreover, it also fell off two other

important parts. Dismay and despair, NB not
was no limit. With excitement, he tore
wet with cold sweat toes
Flower and chewed it, spat it out.

  And a miracle happened ...


  Note 3 / 2. Miracle!


  A very important part and the other two, equally important 
part to rise above the ground and returned to its original 
location. 

  Was no limit to joy NB


  Note 4. Pad NB


  When NB walking on the soft emerald
grass, it is under his feet stele rug
so as not to crush any small and large
insects. This procedure looked like this.
NB jumped six feet into the air and
threw a mat on the spot where he wanted to set foot. Then fell 
on him, and again skipping. This continued for quite

long time, until he accidentally saw during
flight under a beautiful girl who was sleeping in the shade of 
a tree. Enchanted her beauty NB missed by the rug and

both feet down in the anthill. Hundreds of ants were killed, 
thousands more mutilated, destroyed apartment buildings in the 
general damage done to NB was terrible. 

  Since NB never looked at
women.


  Note 5. NB and the sun.


  What can I say about this? Only that the sun - the sun, and 
NB - is NB



  Note 6. The Talking Horse's head.


  NB Once, walking along the road of life, he saw in his own 
way horse's head, which is sadly looking at him and said: "I've 
seen in my lifetime many innocent Buddhists, but you, in my 
opinion, the most innocent. " Having said that, horse's head 
disappeared. 


  Note 7. Radiant sparkle of the eye.


  Going once in the woods, NB suddenly felt
that his body has lost weight, and he rose
over the trees and began to accelerate. And now
have all swept past him with incredible speed, but a huge tree 
that fell into his path from nowhere. Radiant Living Daylights 
NB scattered around and lit up the forest and smitten would if 
not for rain, which began immediately and put out of this mess.



  Note 8. Sleep NB


  I wonder you ever seen someone else's
dreams? Here I am not. Wine fornication.


  Note 9. NB Whoredom and wine.


  NB sat, as usual, in the shadow of Baobab
and, as usual, was in itself, when the next
Fornication and wine appeared, hit on the head
NB said: "I, brother of the note you wrote. And, laughing 
wholeheartedly, Wine Blud rode skipping a nearby forest. Around 
the same NB long it Wine spirit.



  Note 10. Buddha and NB Side one.


  Somehow, hearing the prayers NB, from heaven
Buddha came down and stroked his head,
said: "My boy, you've grown and become
adults. Come home. A? ". But NB
replied: "No, Dad," and again left to itself.

 Note 11. Exit NB in a big way.


  One night, NB went to great
Road. She was bathed in silver light
Moon. No one could see only the silence and
darkness around. Yes away someone hysterically about
something screamed. Maybe he is someone somewhere
called? But NB have not heard anything, he was
As always, self-absorbed.


  Note 12. NB and the Great Serpent.


  When NB walking along a path to the river, from
bushes that grew near, jumped the Great
Snakes and taking squaring off, purring voice said: "Sha!". At 
this NB nicely smiled and blinked his eyes. He therefore

struck the Great Serpent and the spot he reached the ground, he 
immediately died. 


  Note 13. I am very superstitious.

                       Wine fornication.


  Note 14. Great difficulty.


  In NB happened to a great difficulty: it
unable to withdraw into himself. He had lost his keys, but
where and when - could not remember. Or in a brothel or 
anywhere else. But since He was the most innocent of innocent 
Buddhists, then, obviously, the keys in the brothel was not. 
From this it followed that they were elsewhere. 


  Note 15. The search for keys.


  A whole month residents of nearby villages
could observe NB, crawling in the dust
looking for clues. But the key is he did not find one. Had to 
call a locksmith. 



  Note 16. NB the Court.


  NB Summoned to Court in respect of vagrancy. There asked him: 
"Your name?". NB answered honestly: "NB." Then

he immediately released.


  Note 17. In the desert.


  Once, while walking in itself, NB accidentally
drew attention to the fact that around
was a desert. She lay on the border of Eternity. It was a real 
desert. Hot wind sleep eyes NB fried

sand. "No - thought NB - this is not for
I, too empty. "Then he went back under its Baobab, which was, 
perhaps, Sequoia, and possibly the Lebanese cedar, it was 
important that in NB always was a place where you can come back.




  Note 18. Spring abstracts NB


  Thesis 1: Spring - it's fine.

  Thesis 2: Spring - it's dangerous, because spring
easiest way to lose virginity, how
physical and spiritual.


  Note 19. NB and the elephant.


  NB walked through the jungle and saw the Elephant
peacefully tingling marijuana. Looking at the
his trunk, NB thought: "With such a device
not ashamed to live. "


  Note 20. Buddha and NB Side two.


  NB was immersed in a deep sleep when
him down from the heavenly plains and Buddha
whispered in my ear: "Still, my boy,
go home ...".



  Note 21. Exit.


  "Point, gentlemen, cards on the table!" - Said
NB and stepped out from behind his desk. And then everyone saw 
that it was Lieutenant Rzhevskii. 


P.S. The sun trying to get a bamboo
     vuyu grove, where NB disappeared in the mist

     horizon. Animals waved him on easier
     of paws, hooves, tails, hobo
     Tami and ...


P.P.S. Maybe he'll be back.


P.P.P.S. Is not the end.



     Wrote and recorded Wine fornication.