Energy #99 03 февраля 1999

Tales from the Crypt - The story about the navigator.

     Here comez another rave from Heaven
Aeroplane ...


     Little navigator played on Exolon
its regular Pentagon 128 menus
512 th. On television, some
smiling guys in glasses said
work with its operating system -
still in sneakers ... oops, sorry
He, of course, another way to say
to-scientist, but I do not really remember
his words. Uncle's name was Willie Barankin, or in Russian - 
Bill Gates. And although all knew that it is buggy, poison,

This glove melkomyagkie a drop in the young shturmanovsky 
organism already began to act. Here we do not

describe the process of leaving the beautiful organizer into 
another world, we will not talk about His first PyTsy, who 
worked in the unfolded in a newspaper "News of Buchenwald" form 
and minute buggy from the fact that

any two parts suddenly started
kontachit among themselves. Let's not talk about poor CPU 
i486sx-25 accelerated to 40, and which looked so

very tired. All of this, we omit (to -
your case) and proceed to the description at all
recent events.


                   ***


     Navigator brought home a few
beautiful boxes. Throwing them into a corner, he
pulled out a CD with a greasy
Ka-Kim a distorted window on the insert.
In the window frame were inserted into colorful
glass. Navigator put the disc away and
began to unpack the boxes.

     "Here it is, what - life
on PyTsy "- he lovingly stroked
pull out of the box parts that
in 1980 someone mistakenly called
"PC". - "Pull schA
the full program! What all
Bilen'ke! PC Rulez! "

     Gathering of the Made in Taiwan
Soviet Republic of the socialist-energy
trash a unit, he hastened to press
secret button "Network". The unit hummed,
burped a portion of the smoke and sulfur, ie, chirped
speaker, and very friendly on-write on
screen: Disk I / O Error.

     "Yyyyyyy ..." - Navigator confused
but then something remembered. - "Let us
consult a specialist!

     ... And so, after work specialist
a computer learned to write not only
"Error", and "Starting Windows 95". By
this matter has been arranged a grand
buster. It is completely finished
suddenly, a wild scream of rage. Some
of overseas visitors came to wonder,
pressed a few buttons and village-le asked that
the classic question: "What is the format
tse komplitid?? "(More he can not
ask questions - lying in a hospital with
broken jaw).

     From this day all the problems.
Program with the compact (and this was the
is the system of Willie Barankin) is called in Chinese 
SunVyn95, stubbornly refused to work properly. Specials

problems brought some drivers
intended, apparently, no reason to
otherwise, for sex with
computer, as they were called
"Microsoft DirectX", or in Russian -
"Small soft line X". Presence
the words "soft" and "fine" suggests
that this may be a means to
impotent to help them not feel
their inferiority. (One way or another - in
Aircraft, it was all OK, and
drivers or without - it was always X
large, direct and firm ... Oh, Mama,
which puts me?? ). In general, this
means shturmanovskomu PyTsy to no avail. How much does he or 
obscene language, as his friends (and aircraft in particular) 
are not poured into a cure for impotence in

SunVyn, it would not work:
sex scenes on screen, brakes,
erotic sighs were not erotic,
because the sound is constantly interrupted and
buggy. Case did not budge.
The navigator was otchayanii.On crying at night
and urine ... sorry, tossing in bed. Can
only regret this unfortunate
learn that he once said aircraft, which
wants to return to the Spectrum - Imagine
to some frustration, he was brought because
a week ago he said that the Spectrum
- This is not true.


                   ***


     We had not seen for three days. Today
evening, I phoned him. It turns out that
Now he is a new SunVyn98,
hung, as is known in his time
directly on their own presenta-orientation. Voice
became more cheerful - the new operating system
finally made friends with his video card
so that the DVDs with black porn
it is already possible to watch, but that's erotic
sighs the computer still does not work out.
The navigator said that his zvukovuhu
melkomyagkie stimulants do not work and
have to wait for the updated version. Very
I would like it to appear before the
Navigator to retire ...


                  ***


     Please no one take offense -
written in a state of extreme depression and
dissatisfaction with themselves ... ;-)


              August 23, 1998, 23:28.