Polesse #15 30 декабря 1999

Scribble brain - Beth tea.

        Karakul BRAIN


(C) KVAZAR



   Recently appeared on television advertising of the new 
imported tea under the significant title "Beta" ... Listen to a 
very interesting story. 



                BETA TEA


(C) Leonid Zakharchenko



   Carl S. got up early ytrom. As luck would have ended and tea 
emy had to jump on minytky the store. Standing y counter, he 
saw the label and noticed vdryg odny simpatichnyyu korobochky. 

   Beta-tea. Forest Berries "- read Karl S., and asked
prodavschitsy ypakovky look closer. While he is considered to 
korobochky nemy approached by a young, unshaven guy with an 
opened bytylkoy Baltika. 

   - Myzhik, do not take this tea. - Whispered the boy, took a 
sip of bytylki.


   - So why? - Charles S. surprised.

   - Look who is the manufacturer ...

   - Microsoft - read Karl S.. - Hy, what of it?
Bad producer?

   - Syks, mazday! - Hissed the guy in plyunyv storony. - Bury
out, coffee Linyks or Unix. Hy and if you do not drink coffee - 
compote Polyos ... 

   And said yshel. And Karl S. remained undecided. AND
the question saleswoman: "What to bydete? decided yet risknyt 
and took beta-tea. Clutching grydi korobochky, he went home. My 
throat was so syho and so thirsty that he would eat syhim tea, 
if that little ytolil zhazhdy it that way. Arriving home, Carl 
S. has put the kettle on the fire, and yet he warmed vody 
opened korobochky. Sverhy lay a quality certificate and 
obnaryzhiv ten degrees of protection, Carl S. ydivlenno 
hmyknyl. Still, this is a good producer of tea, time he defends 
his prodyktsiyu such certificates. Next he pulled from a box 
tolstenkyyu knizhky with the inscription "Rykovodstvo user." 
Usmehnyvshis, Carl S. postponed knizhky in storony. In addition 
to tea, he did not drink anything and perfectly ymel brew tea 
without pykovodstva. Then came the turn of a small bag labeled 
"Setup". Young bykvami was inscribed: "Open to the use of 
beta-tea". Carl S. opened a bag and suddenly it took off from 
the blue smoke. 

   - Congratulations on your purchase of beta-tea - a voice was 
heard, coming from the smoke. - Pozhalyysta remove the first 
packet of Beta-and tea Put it in chashky.


   Carl S. very ydivilsya neponyatnomy phenomenon, but none
less decided poslyshatsya voices and pulling out a bag from a 
box, put it in a glass.


   - Congratulations on your purchase of beta-tea - the voice 
said. - Set Up Goes Beta tea vashy chashky ... Attention! 
Obnaryzheno ystroystvo "Spoon." Mogy not determine the type of 
"Scoop." Poprobyyte determine ystroystvo vrychnyyu. You have a 
tea or a tablespoon? 

   - Tea - stunned, muttered, Charles S..

   - OK - "the voice said. - Continue ystanovky Beta tea. 
Attention! Few places in the cup! To continue, Set Up Beta of 
tea free up space in the bowl and put the first bag of 
Beta-tea. Charles Semenovich took out a glass lozhky and put 
the first bag of boxes.


   - OK - continue ystanovky Beta tea. To continue pour
chashky in water.

   Carl S. plity turned and took off the kettle, poured water 
into a glass. Blue smoke, meanwhile, did not disappear and 
quietly dymal hovered over the table.


   - Obnaryzhena water. Now bydet defined type of water. If the 
water long bydet signs of life - pour it out of the cup and

pour again.

   It was several weary sekynd, after which a voice said:

   - Type of water: tap water, bottled. Start ystanovky 
Betachaya? 

   - Begin! - Kriknyl Carl S., remembering strashnyyu
zhazhdy.

   - OK, I start ystanovky Beta-tea ... To continue Set Up
Beta-tea "Forest Berries" put a bag of raspberries.

   Carl S. rummaged in a box and through minyty obnaryzhil
bag, which was a miniature inscription: "The bag of raspberries
Wild berries from a kit. "He put the bag in a glass, after
which the water pomytnela and highlighted in light yellow color.

   - Place the bag with strawberries. Insert the bag of 
blueberries. 

   Thus, in the glass were opyscheny all the tea bags. Process
accompanied byrchaniem that "Now, tea has become even
easier, "" All that you bydete drink bydet bring you 
ydovolstvie, "" All kinds of frantsyzskih bylochek are played 
consumed more quickly than with predydyschey Beta-tea, "" 
Anything you want drink, and even more bydet drunk. "It seemed 
that no etomy nastypit end ... Finally the water in the glass 
was nearly empty, but one that remained became completely 
black. Suddenly a voice said. 

   - Preparations are underway for the first tea party. 
Attention! In a cup obnaryzhen tea bag. Must vynyt bag before 
the first tea.


   Carl S. took lozhky and pulled out all the bags out of the 
glass, shifting them on a plate (and vdryg on another 
occasion). After that, the smoke long time did not cast a vote, 
and then said: 

   - Tip of the Day: If you add sugar to tea, it becomes
sweeter.

   - Thanks for the advice - probyrchal Charles S.. - Can I
Still drink the damn tea?

   He took the glass, but do not bring it to yspel gybam like 
smoke said:


   - Attention! Obnaryzheno new ystroystvo: "glass". Device
"Glass" may conflict with ystroystvom "cup." Delete
"Glass"?

   - Shut up! - Charles S. yelled. - There is no y no me
cup! I only tea I drink in a glass!

   He raised a glass to gybam, but the smoke tyt said:

   - Neystranimaya error on adresy RUChKA00h: ChAShKA00h. Not 
Found ystroystvo "cup." Beta-tea made nedopystimyyu operation 
and bydet poured from a cup! ...


   Carl S. yelled obscenities good and put the glass on the 
table, pykami waved, trying to dispel the fumes talking. But 
the smoke does not yporno wanted to dispel sgyschalsya and 
again over the table. Finally, Carl S. yspokoilsya and sat on 
styl, raised a glass to gybam Beta tea and took a sip. Vkys was 
disgusting. Black liquid "knit" language, like unripe hyrma and 
how-bydto stuck in zybah. Carl S. vyplyunyl contents back into 
chashky. 

   - Obnaryzhena old version of Beta-tea - pronounced smoke. - 
For use the new version Beta tea should ydalit staryyu

The beta version of the tea ...

   Carl S. kriknyl pary netsenzyrnyh words storony smoke
and then poured the contents of the glass in otkrytyyu 
fortochky. Smoke ystremilsya after the contents and disappeared 
from vidy. Carl S. vykinyl all that has been associated with 
beta-tea, and then for a long time soaps glass, trying to scrub 
it from the greenish plaque adhering on the walls and bottom.


   The next day, Carl S. reappeared in the store.
Rapidly approaching the store, he said:

   - Allow the coffee Linux.

   Saleswoman protyanyla him to the bank and calculate with it, 
Karl S. towards the exit. 

   - And how do you beta-tea? - Asked him after the saleswoman.

   Carl S. turned to her. In his eyes was read weary anger.

   - MAZDAY!



   We remind our readers that the newspaper is attached archive 
file POLES15p.Z, where can I find information on the virtual

vote CC999.999, registration forms demopati MILLENNIUM and New 
Year greeting card from EASY and MONARCH ... Before the 
meeting, the second part of this room.