Micro #03 24 апреля 1998

Юмор

Humor - Anecdotes.

                ANECDOTES:
-----------------------------------------
CAN I ASK YOU ABOUT THE SERVICE? Teach me DANCE ROCK-N-ROLL.
-I myself do not know how.
-YOU ME RAZYGRYVAESH. I saw you once danced in the bathroom. It 
was great! A, I'm on the soap arrived.



                  *

GO OPERATION. SURGEON ASSISTANT:
-SKALPIL, clamps, forceps, CLIP, SCISSORS, saw, chisel, hammer, 
KEY FOR 17 KEY ON 24 ... 


                  *

 About B b I'm In A Definition:
SROCHNO SELL MOUSE In excellent condition, with all bells and 
whistles: ABS, CENTRAL CASTLE, MYSHEMAGNITOLA FIRM 
"Fushi-MOUSE, Mileage 5000km. 


                  *

FITS one Georgian to another:
-Hey, Vano, YOUR SON JUST THAT TREE
Fell.
-Where, VNYZ?


                  *

SHTIRLITS Molchan ... He loved to listen to the voice
Behind the scenes.


                  *

-Who are you?
-Mayor Luzhkov.
-NO SUCH Luzhkov?


                  *

WHAT DIMA-boxer? He has such Tripping
FNL!
No, he washes the windows in a brothel.


                  *

Matroskin sits on ZAVALENKE reading a newspaper: "OVER 
Prostokvashino was hit by a Boeing 747. Well, a ball! OH, 
OHOTNICHEK! 


                  *

-ALLO, a bar ???!!
-NO.
-27-17-32?
-NO.
A EURO DECLINES THEN HANG UP ???!!


             *

-What can I tell Dad when he learned THAT YOU
Broke his CAR?
Swearing-LOWER?
-Of course.
-Word.


             *

-DOCTOR, YOU HAVE ENEMIES?
Yes. But their remains a little.


             *

-Mom, I never leave you with the pope!
SO, do not you dare threaten his PARENTS!


             *

-MA, in a bucket of milk fell a mouse.
-YOU MOUSE lift it out?
No, I threw the cat.


             *

A boy, what's your name?
SILENCE.
-Where do you live?
-Peter.
-YOU THAT THE BRAKE?
-In next door ..


             *

 - What happened to your submarine
 uncle?
 - I saw yesterday came the destroyer?
 - Well, see!
 - But my uncle did not see.


             *


  Chief of the Military Academy call for
phone:
 - One of your students detained during
attempt to rape a woman.
 - Excuse me, while trying to rape or Vania?
 - When you try!
 - It is not our listeners.


             *

 Meeting in the village council.
 Chairman:
 - Word asks former banderovets Panas
 Golovko.
 Screams from the audience:
 - No! Bandera's words do not give!
 Chairman:
 - But he wants to address the environmental
 theme.
 - Then let him speak.
 Panas Golovko:
 - Boys, take care of the forest! They are still with us good!


             *

 Ukraine's parliament hears report on the environmental 
situation in the republic. Reporter:  - Shaw was set 
fox-vyrubyly, sho was r rikami dry. Nema de Muscovite povisyty, 
dumb de vtopyty. 


             *

 Vovochka:
 - Dad, there was a cologne. Have not you seen?
 - Well, duck ... ahem!


             *

 The bell rings. K Devery suitable grandmother, looks into the 
eye - there are two goons.  - Who's there?

 - We are from the morgue
 - And we have no one died.
 - And we have a plan.