ZX-News #17 03 декабря 1996

Юмор

Humor - Fidoshny humor - Dictionary lamer.

                   Humor



     Prepared for publication in ZxNews

                Ilya Fomin



         SELECT FIDOSHNY HUMOR.

   Continued, and by the end is far away.


               (Before reading sit down ...)



                FUN N4


       C L O B A R A L A M E R A

       --------------------------

                 Part I.


              A B O R T s:


    ALEXANDER SKORODUMOV 2:5030 / 61.42

    DIMA TOCHINOV 2:5030 / 541.6

    OLEG UMANSKY 2:463 / 170.0

    IGOR ELANSKIY 2:463 / 170.9


    Under the general redaktsiey ALEXANDER VLODEK

                          2:463 / 170.30


                  ----

   User - the person nerazymny not ymeyuschy
plainly obschatsya with machinery, the possibility of their
communication ogranicheny poslyshnym you press pary
acquaintances buttons. Obrazovanie and vozrast -
any, vyrazhenie litsa - typoe. Vnimatelnye chitateli 
samoychitelya - yvy, rather it is on the vas. Takzhe see Lamer, 
Chaynik. 


  CHAYNIK - ny very neobrazovanny user.
Takzhe see Lamer.


  Lamer - ny very voinstvyyuschy chaynik.
Takzhe see Syks and Mast day.


  MACHINE TACHKA - computer. Shtyka not
chaynika (see), poetomy details here
apparently neither chemy.


  PISYUK - the same as mashina, tachka. Yes
only the more erotic.


  BRAIN - byvayut, HOW nor stranno, y mashiny (see), a not only 
y vas. If you hear this first - prededyschee proposal

sledyet chitat: "... a not only y vas.


  RULEZ (rulez) - what prelschaet in life: beer (see), sex, OS 
/ 2 (see). 


  SUKS and MUST DIE (suxx and must die) - is
that otvraschaet of life: lamery (see), chayniki (see), Win95 
(see). 


  BEER - beer. Takzhe see Rylez.


  PROGRAMER - the same as programmist. But
togda So why can not it nazvat programmistom? And So why do not 
you nazyvaete terapevta MD, a assenizatora - atmosfery cleaner?



  ZHELEZYACHNIK - a man capable sobrat
computer from any devaysov (see), including
including sneakers, pampersov and tampaksov, a
takzhe explain unto you than "mama with mozgami"
otlichaetsya from "mamy no brains." However,
direct approach to nemy with takim issue not
rekomendyetsya - most likely in response to you
yslyshite that lamer (see) - syks and mast
day (see).


  Device - some of which zhelezyachnik (see) can sobrat tachky 
(see). Same subject, pribambas, shtykovina. But more erotic.



  MODEM (he MOMED) - devays tachek to connect (see) through 
telephone lines in network (see), devays (see) a telephone line 
for zasoreniya uzhasnym wheezing and hissing, a takzhe for 
razdrazheniya lamera (see) chaynika (see), yuzera (see) 
miganiem lampochek and treschaniem spryatannoy ratchet under 
nazvaniem RELAY. Inogda serves HOW 2-nd variant ispolzovaniya 
shnura (see). 


  NETWORK - a lot tachek (see) (in unison).


  "OS / 2" and "Win95" - operatsionnye system
which unto you znat neobyazatelno. Odnako
normalnyh many people povody that
follows from this syks, a what pylez, vedyt
vesma Active military action.


  HAKER - we are tyt chaynichestvy svoemy not
dare. Kto takoy haker, pyst unto you explain spetsialisty. 
Widely and comprehensively. :) 


  MAMA - live, HOW stranno nor, in some
tachke (see). It zhelezyachniki (see) vsovyvayut, HOW pravilo 
several devaysov (See) is definitely obespechivayuschih 
funktsionirovanie tachki. It also vsovyvayut brains (See) while 
they do not exist or malo. But if mame no kamnya, the brain can 
be thrown out. Therefore zhelezyachnik sperva vybiraet kamen,

climbs in tachku (see), thrust it into the mamu, after which 
produces the above-mentioned actions. 


  SCREW - devays, which contains razum tachki (a not mozgah, 
HOW podumali some). Vyzyvaet bewilderment in children starikov 
and chaynikov. 


  PISIBRYAKER - PC speaker (he matyugalnik, he's blyuster) 
otlichayuschiysya naibolee drebezzhaschim nasty sound. For 
neytralizatsii his raboty, HOW pravilo not do without 
zhelezyachnika (see), which mamu (See) must vstavit some other 
devays (See).



  FLOPPOVOD - The drive, also known as a gap (for
vsovyvaniya floppy disks), which, in addition to floppy disks
can chitat floppy disks (which on its own
essentially the same thing).


  SIDIVOD - Sidir (he SIDYUK) ponimayuschy Kitaysko-Bolgarskie 
drives. 


  KUULER - devays (see) for fixing nA
kamne and sozdaniya pary extra decibels
harmful shuma, a gain takzhe skvoznyaka
indoors ...


  VIRUS - namagnichennoe creature (but not
scissors), which roams the dorozhkam drives and razmnozhaetsya, 
postaviv to zapolnit an all disk prostranstvo. 
Neodomashnivaetsya, training prakticheski not poddaetsya, and 
therefore for the service nA granitse no good.



  DOS - agressivnaya sreda, in which the fetus viruses (see)


  Bosses - naibolee voinstvuyuschaya chast
employees, all silami tormozyaschayaya process prevrascheniya 
lamerov (see) in chaynikov (See), a they, in turn, users (see).



  ELEKTRICHESTVO - Nekaya zagadochnaya sila,
podderzhivayuschaya pisyuk (see) in Hapryazhenii.
Inogda gets out of control and delaet
hurt zhelezyachnikam (see)


  PROGRAM - nabor useless kommand
for zamorochki brain (see). Inogda used to damage devaysov (see)


  Keyboards - especially prochnaya doschechka with
knopochkami, nA which narisovany bukvochki. Used to absorb 
excess lamerov muscular energy (see). Tak is a

You can use it napechatat Suks (see)
Mastday (see)


  KLAVA - Klaviatura (see), but is more likely to use chayniki 
(see) and users (see). Otlichaetsya less fundamentalnym zapasom

strength and can ispolzovatsya To enter
in tachku (see) programm (see).


  DISPLAY - The TV is used not
naznacheniyu. Inogda serves otobrazheniya
injected with klaviatury (see), even more rarely -
with Klavy (see), and in a case of single -
state of the brain.


  PROTECTIVE EKRAN - Kusok of glass, veshayuschiysya nA display 
(see) and for prednaznachenny sozdaniya solar flare and the 
daily protiraniya cloth.



  CORDS - Plastmassovye or rubber rope metallicheskim core. 
Used: 


  1) for podachi Elektrichestva (see) nA mamu (cm), devaysy 
(see), zhelezyachnika (see) 

  2) for the free and unobstructed
movement of viruses pisyuka (see) nA pisyuk (see)

   3) if long - that for a constant
spotykaniya lamerov (see), chaynikov (see)
users (see), nachalstva (see).


  ANTI - Programma (see) for kastratsii viruses (see)


  Mouse PAD - mat under his arm, sdelan of
synthetics and prednaznachen for nakopleniya
musora, dirt, and prilipaniya zhvachek vytiraniya zapachkannyh 
chernilami hands. 


  MOUSE - Devays (see) is used to sobiraniya dust, dirt, 
adhering zhvachek nA sharik rubber in the bottom of Maus pada 
(see). 


  PRINTER - Devays (see) for raspechatki
"Adventures Shtirlitsa" slovarya "Lamera"
samogona and recipes.


  DRYUKER - Printer (cm) of clean rassy before kazhdym word 
pechatayuschy Gothic font razmerom 9x12 points slovosochetanie

"Hayl DRYUKER.


  MODEM (in addition to the previous skazannomu redaktsii 
"slovarya ..) - Devays (see) for zasoreniya telephone uzhasnym

wheezing and hissing, a takzhe for razdrazheniya lamera (see), 
chaynika (see), yuzera (See) miganiem lampochek and treschaniem 
spryatannoy ratchet under nazvaniem relay. Inogda serves HOW 
2-nd variant ispolzovaniya shnura (see). 


  SKANER - devays (see) To enter into the brains
kartinok zhurnala of "Playboy."


  MICROSOFT WINDOWS - tiny and soft
metalloplastikovye windows.


  MIKROSOFT - firma, kotoraya sozdaet tiny and soft vents 
(see), a takzhe programmki, sluzhaschie for generatsii errors

in mozgah. Takzhe sozdaet DOS (see). Great
Number of advanced users (see) assotsiiruyut this term with 
Suks and Mastday ... 


  IBM - firma-ray for zhelezyachnikov (see)
programerov (see). Vyrazhenie: "And would have gone
You nA three letters "in the context of IBM
HOW is the manifestation of uvazheniya. Many
ona assotsiiruetsya with the notion Rulez (see).
Firma zanimaetsya production mam (see)
tachek (see), raznyh Devaysov (see), a takzhe razvedeniem bees, 
wasps, flies, / IC, bees and wasps polovinchatogo razmera.



  INTEL - Izvestnaya kamenotesnaya kompaniya.
Produces kamni (see). Inogda - devaysy.


  HERZ - Familiya scientist.


  MC - edenitsa measuring the speed with
which shakes kamen (see).


  DATABASE - Useless nabor informatsii.


  Database Management Systems (DBMS) programma (see), 
sluzhaschaya for competitive combat virusami (see) in question 
zabivaniya brain (see) and disk prostranstva informatsiey 
useless. The difference - the virus (See) zabivaet their 
offspring, and database - bazoy dannyh (see).



  Plotter - Devays (see), sluzhaschy for vyvoda nA bumagu 
biorhythms staff (if takovye available).




    Continued necessarily follow!


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