RIP #07 24 января 1998

Юмор

Marasmus - Me and my computer.

(C) Werewolves

 I was awakened by loud kakafonii emanating from the dynamics 
of my computer.

 - Here is infectious! - Now in its eighth day, as my life has 
become a Hell - What do you want me to still have?

 According to Border rippled orange circle the correct form.
 - It can not be! - I stared looking at the monitor. If 
possible, the computer displays all the seven colors of the 
rainbow, I could clearly see the color orange. Stop! What a new 
effect? Circles on Border? Yes, and on the move!

 I have uneven steps moved in the direction of the bath. 
Opolosnuv face, I looked in the mirror. Eyes - red, swollen 
eyelids, the skin is a little not green.

 - Here is a pancake ... - I sat on the edge of the bath and 
put his head in his hands.  I did not expect that the old book 
and a small utility written by me on BASIC, so will change my 
life ...  It all started when I decided once and for all get 
out in the basement of the old geezers. Nothing but rotten 
rags, old mountain things, books, and piles of yellowed with 
age, the paper was not there. The door is not even locked. If a 
thief will - he would have had me a great service, with his all 
this stuff. But these fools do not was, for even the paper 
could not be used, at least in the toilet, due to old age and 
rotten.  Introducing the cellar all this stuff, I filled up all 
the trash cans, but the basement was still full of junk. 
Sneezing from dust and mother, I sat on an old chair, which, of 
course, immediately, with miserably collapsed. Falling, I just 
managed to seize one of the books that were piled almost to the 
ceiling. Crashing on the floor, I was buried under a collapsed 
pyramid book.  Swearing like a trooper, I got out into the 
fresh air, still continuing to hold in my hand an old book.

 - Holy Mother, what rubbish grandfather kept in the basement - 
I'm squeamish turning over the raw pages. The letters remind me 
of Arabic scrawl. Judging by the various formulas and 
equations, it was a kind of mathematics.  Even my knowledge of 
"below average", suggests that this whole book full suspension. 
Navorocheny formula and equations impressively insane results. 
Thus, one equation proved: that a zero plus zero does not 
always equal to zero, as they taught me in school. In the first 
If it is equal to seven, and secondly, with the addition of 
five zeros the power of the roots of the two (!!!) - thirteen!

 When the book is already flying into the garbage, I suddenly 
remembered about his idea write a utility that would be on 
mathematical equations and formulas deduced vector graphics and 
some sound.  Neglected cleaning, I began to write the program. 
Since assembler I know quite a little, I began to sculpt in 
BASIC, since Once I had studied it thoroughly in all its 
subtleties, and working with him, I get real pleasure.

 The utility has turned out pretty unpretentious. After testing 
and compile the program Tobos'om, to increase performance, I 
ran it.  In the main menu, I decided to first select the 
option: "1. Draw", and introduced the first formula from the 
book. The result of me just flabbergasted! Within minutes, the 
formula emerges something that later proved viselnitsey! I 
began to enter formulas in the book on geometry in eighth grade 
- some waves, drops, geometric figures, the similarity of 
mountain landscapes and other dregs. The second formula of 
found the book has left me in horror: three sixes on the 
screen!  Realizing that this is just a simple set of numbers, 
for some reason I felt a mild panic and a desire to throw away, 
and it is better to burn Book ...

 - Well, - I swallowed approached whom, from what he saw the 
consequences of the third formula: volume skull without the 
lower jaw - listen to you. I went back to the main menu and 
choose the option: "2. Sound".  Obeying easy to panic, I 
decided to return to the geometry of the eighth grade. Beeper, 
at most, to reproduce a full kakafonyu. Sometimes it sounded 
quite good range, but the relationship is not captured. C 
trepidation, I opened the book again and introduced the formula 
viselnitsy ...  It seems I lain unconscious for an hour and a 
half. The first chords funeral march led rebound from a 
computer, forgetting shelf above his head, about which I have 
successfully cracked neck. I woke up in complete silence. The 
formula seems to have managed to reach, known to her alone, its 
logical end, and now the monitor flickered invitingly asked: 
"Repeat again Y / N?".  - Go to hell! - I cut down the computer 
and went to wet a towel in cold water. Wound, a splitting pain, 
my head, I lay on the bed and found himself quickly fell asleep.


                         to be continued ...