Subliminal Extacy
#03
01 апреля 2001 |
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Chocasutra - A Chocoholics Guide To Sex
Chocasutra - A Chocoholics Guide To Sex By Icabod^RA Picture, if you will, Sarah Michelle Gellar lying spread out on a bed. Naked. Completely. Wearing only a smile. And perhaps a spiderman costume (note to self: you're giving too much away). Forget the spiderman costume. Naked. Completely. She's waiting for you, her mouth slightly open in anticipation of the forthcoming sexual gymnastics. She's in a daze from the previous 17 rounds. Her eyes look towards you. You know she wants more, and you're ready to give it to her. She parts her legs, and slowly [censored] and wet. You move slowly forward, and begin to make passionate love to her. Now, add to this scenario the lovely SMG being covered in melted chocolate, and you pretty much have a chocoholics fantasy on your hands. or in your head. or on the sheets. Of course, it doesn't need to SMG herself. Any of the Buffy cast will do. Well, any of the female Buffy cast. Except for Buffy's mum (too old). And Drusilla (too dead). Hmm. Actually, put Drusilla back in. If we're being kinky, we may as well go the whole hog. Where was I? Oh yes, chocolate. The point of this article is to describe the many wonderful (sexual) things you can do with chocolate. I'm the ideal person to guide you in this area, being an over-indulger in both chocolate and sex. But with perhaps less sex. And more chocolate. There are two main ways that chocolate can improve your sex -life. The first is in "wooing" a partner to be. Buy her chocolates. It's impressive, but can ultimately end in a fat girlfriend. Know where to stop! The second is to use chocolate in your bedroom gymnastics. This includes the use of melted chocolate, and finding interesting ways to melt the chocolate. Look in your history books for information on Marianne Faithful and Mick Jagger. Hmm. I think that's it actually. There's not much more you can do with it. If all else fails, chocolate releases the same chemicals into the body as sex. So, if you're "going without", eat some chocolate, and stop yourself going blind, you dirty thing.
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