Bonus #16 26 декабря 1999

Юмор

Jokes - jokes, aphorisms and other crap ...

                   A guy came to one girl home. Well, ho
                   DIT house inspected. When he sees - next

                   the sofa is a beautiful, expensive Chinese wa
                   for. He looked back and saw something there 
and droughts                     UHC my hand and asked:

- Oh, what's going on here?
- And, it is! This is the ashes of my grandfather ... (The guy 
pulls his hand out of fear) ... him, you see, in the scrap for 
the ashtray to the kitchen to go! 

From football reportage in Georgia: "The captain caught the 
ball and recovered them! "


Lies a girl, so all of ourselves, with forms on the beach. 
Suddenly a row up to her old man and says: - Girl, I'm on your 
chest in delight. Allow me to pat her. And I'll give you 50 
rubles. - Are you old goat! Get out!

- Well, do not be angry. Hundred rubles.
- Go away, I say, lecher!
- Well, five hundred.
- Said sgin.
- Well, for one thousand agree?
- What am I thy thousand.
- And if you two?
- Two? Well, my grandfather, just a quick ...
The old man starts and kept repeating: "Lord." O Lord! "
- And that "the Lord", then, grandfather?
- "Lord, where are me two thousand to get something?

- Dad, tell me a story!
- Sleep is too late!
- Dad, well, tell me!
- Okay, okay ...
- Not about the toad, please!
- Well, I will not about a toad. Listen. "I went to the boy at 
night forest ... "

- And there the toad?
- No, there is no toad. "He goes, goes and sees the old house 
more often ..." - And there the toad?

- No there is no toads, do not interrupt! "Comes he in that 
dark hut, and saw a huge, huge table ..." - A toad on it?

- Uh, how you bore me! Well frog, toad, huge so terrible
green toad!
- Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!

Two Georgians drink wine. One asks the other:
- Listen, genatsvali, Tsinandali else is there?
- Nat!
- A Rkatsiteli?
- Nat!
- And in this pitcher that?
- This pitcher mi Nassau!
- Okay! Come Minassali!

Two programmers tell how celebrated New Year:
- I recently returned from Silicon Valley. There famously rested
And where were you?
- The focus can not remember a film not yet shown.

- Doctor, I tick some strange way you start to drink
Tea in the eye hurts tunic.
- Did you remove the spoon from the cup?

What is the difference females and the Internet:
Over the Internet once paid - then all the time trahaeshsya!
With a woman once natrahalsya - then pay off all my life

Rodeo. In the arena - a hefty bull. Coolest guys trying to
him there, but nobody can stay on the back of a bull
five seconds.
Somewhere there is a little flimsy little man. All over him
laugh, but he gets on the bull, and although the bull terrible 
kicks, This little man is held on a bull for almost 10 minutes. 
Finally bull iznemozhdenii falls. Everyone is wondering where 
this guy learn? A man says:

- I'm 20 years old fuck with his wife - epileptichkoy.

The teacher asks Vovochku that imports into our country
India?
Vovochka:
- I do not know.
Teacher:
- Well, just think, now, remember that you have the whole 
family drink in the morning? Vovochka:

- What do brine?

I run on grass If the eggs are all sweaty Autumn has come
Bare feet urine. And tired of them blowing mouth falling leaves.
I'm just like everyone - Refer to Moscow I am no unnecessary
I'm fucking want. Fan Factory. Except you!

Riddle: winter, forest, all covered with snow. On the large icy
stump is squashed member. What is it?
Answer: at the end of winter has come.

Are Winnie the Pooh and Piglet on the road.
P: - Winnie! Vinny! Where are we going?
In-P: - On the mountain, a pig fuck.
P: - And it will give?
In-P: - give, give ...
P: - Winnie! And if it does not give?
B-D: - But where are you, fuck, deneshsya1

To be a philosopher should be able to distinguish
Gogol from Hegel
Hegel by Bebel
Bebel of Babel
Babel on cable
cable from the stud
males from the knots
and the bitch of a respectable woman.

And finally, the most funny anecdote of the week:

Once there was a family: an old man, old woman, three sons and 
a cow. One morning the old woman went to milk a cow, en lo and 
behold, a cow then izdohla.

Woe to the family, there is nothing ... Thinking brothers 
decided to go on earnings. Out eldest son and plumb gone ...

Left middle son - also disappeared ...
Out youngest son ... Go-go, he sees a river, give thought to 
redeem Awash. Suddenly, someone grabbed his legs and pulls on 
the bottom ... Frightened boy, he gave to resist ... Fought, 
fought, there emerges a mermaid, and says: - Look, let's way - 
if you satisfy me, I'll gold heap, and if not - Utena at the 
bottom. The guy not be a fool, agreed.

Mermaid asked:
- You can throw five Palik?
- Can!
- A ten?
- Can!
Mermaid again:
- Well, twenty - weak?
Guy:
- Listen, pancake, define, and it will be like a cow ...