City #44 19 мая 2000

Самиздат

Beech - cap HA BASHHYAH.

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(C) V. Pelevin


           P A P X A and H A B H A R I X


                    end


  Meanwhile, discipline in the ranks of the fighters fell from 
the terrific speed. Many of the fighters, they say,

"Razgazavatilis" that is, began to drink and chat with
women who were in the Kremlin were a lot of
on the occasion of the contest "Legs and smoke." Danger
subjected himself Shamil. This story was devoted to
whole issue of "caps on the towers."
A well-known courtesan Mary Asramova, disguised
Chechen women, entered the Kremlin in order to seduce
leader of the terrorists and infect him with venereal
disease. But it highlighted Jupiters
patriotic impulse was unsuccessful - to
reviews of journalists who were present at
missed the act of retribution, Shamil Basayev, found
its ugly. Of course, thinking about these words, we do not
must not forget that, among other things, Basayev
proved to be skilled craftsmen
psychological terror.

  Incidentally, when Basayev, the next day tried to
find out how all these people managed to get on
territory of the Kremlin, it was found that control over
omission of new faces through the gates Borovitskie
gradual and completely obscure way passed from
his deputy for the spiritual work of Khwaja Akhundova
to some inexplicable Edik Simonyan and, in addition to
collective applications, as is the case with the competition
"Legs and smoke, into the Kremlin may
to get anyone who has five thousand dollars
cash and ready to part with them. When Basayev
became interested, as Edward was at this
place, he politely but clearly referred to the Council not
seek adventure on their own, so to speak, trouble
and the most amazing thing was that there was no
no way to find out where the council
proceeds.

  Having estimated that prices for entry are high and the army
money to storm the Kremlin is not enough, Basayev several
calmed down, the more so because he had many other
problems. But the next morning he was approached by a
a major TV producer and said, fearful glance at
two rocket-propelled grenade, which hung over
being in a bad mood, Shamil.

  - Mr. uh-uh ... Basayev. Forgive
bother you - you, I know people are employed. But
you know ... We have invested a lot of money, very
large, and in spinning heaven knows who.
Is it possible to tighten pass? We are here
the flower of culture - just imagine that here
take and imbued with some, uh-uh ...
Terrorists ...

  Here Shamil realized that the situation completely out
from under his control. Later, he remembered the moment
when the wolf's instincts told him a terrorist, that
time to go. Fortunately, this moment was captured for
history. Survived several personnel working
material culture program "Moscow night", where
leading, standing against the backdrop of spectacular 
razvorochennoy grenade shot King-gun, with the unbearable

sincerity says:

  - The trouble that struck our home, Russia is not
left indifferent people who each
evening come to your house with a blue screen. All they
or nearly all - risking his life, gathered here
voluntarily surrendered to the geeks who have long
lost the right to call people ... look at
these fires is sitting, our national elites, our
superintendents do ...

  Camera, who got at this point the panorama area
with the flickering flames of the fires, he suddenly pulled out 
of darkness stooped figure of a man in Panama, with two

grenade launchers over their shoulders. And as soon as the 
leading yelled:


  - Luggage, stop! Who is this kid in the shot put?
Hide!

  Basayev was in fact a very clever man.
After retiring from the frame, he thought about his situation, 
He it was quite clear that the Kremlin will withdraw from

difficult. It was not just a transfer of "hat on
towers. "The cost of advertising time in all
news programs went up twice. Therefore,
Having decided to leave, he decided to act in secret.
Contact with the FSB, it took two and five Kamaz
millions of dollars - money, according to his calculations, 
should was sufficient for GAI until the North Caucasus.

FSB and Basayev jointly resolve the problem with
TV - one Chechen bomber, apparently
like Basayev, has agreed to play its role
front of the cameras for some time after
leaving the main body.

  These major forces at that time the remaining eight
or nine people. Others ... As said in
program "with the muzzle to his temple," one former terrorist
had time to change the camo to plaid jacket and
become because of this, very much like a TV journalist
Nikolai Svanidze:

  - Understand ... Previously, we have fought for the idea, 
yes? A arrived in Moscow since realized that the ideas in this 
world a lot happens. Any choice, huh?


  In short, one night with a few Basayev
remained faithful soldiers fell into two
"Mercedes" and under the guise of checking positions left
Kremlin territory. The latest victim of terrorists
became a famous avant-Shura Brenna, at
large crowds masturbated by
grenade towards the militants.
Shoot him Ukrainian snipers appeared
suspiciously large black phone on which the
Schur's going to end for reasons of aesthetic
character. Except for this small
incident, the evacuation went smoothly. All the way
Basayev was silent, and when the car stopped at the
ring road, where he and his men were
change seats on KAMAZ, he, in a few memories
present, turned to Moscow, raised
fist to the sky, turning pink from the first morning rays
shook it and shouted:

  - Woe unto thee, Babylon, that mighty city!

  They say that his eyes filled with tears. Worth
I add that the last words of Basayev, a very
soon became public, patriotic
print found last, final and
irrefutable proof of his Jewish
origin.

  If at the end of our short story we
go back to where to begin, that is the myth of
storming of the fortress, the issue with the storm
it seems quite clear. More difficult with those
who defended the fortress. After all, does not turn the language
said that Moscow had saved Paul Herborov with Masha
Asramovoy. Nevertheless, for the unbiased
observer, it looks that way. It seems that
events with Russia, are subject to
some logic Lobachevsky and their meaning - if it
is - is open only to big time
distances.

  And you can say otherwise: the history of Russia there is some
fourth dimension of its history, and only if
Seen from this fourth dimension all
unexplained monstrous jumps, twists and
tremor of her life merge into a clear, precise and
straight as an arrow line.