Maximum #39 05 мая 1997

Юмор

solid jokes - How to rid your apartment of mice.

            SOLID FUN


 (R) KOLOVRAT



   HOW TO GET RID OF YOUR APARTMENT FROM MICE. Expert advice.


Hello Konstantin!

10 Apr 1997 23:38, Konstantin Vasilyev wrote to All:

KV> I have a friend myshegubku (mousetrap fatal)

     arranged in the summer. Under the table, put a sheet of 
iron, and the table Swee      fat wire with a piece of cheese. 
Sheet to zero, the wire in the phase 

     at night (vseravno light at night is not needed, even if 
you plug      fly). Mice dead for two or three pieces per 
night, but the device turns      out to be incompatible with 
the cat and his grandmother. 


   Ckazochnik thy priyatel, odnako ... Bo pervyx, mouse and 
ymnye nA Cheese pod napryazheniem DO NOT kidayutcya, and they 
are normally voobsche bolshe calo kopchenoe love. Bo vtoryx I 
polgoda pytalcya bopotcya c myshami at pomoschi elektroniki and 
mogy podelitcya personal opytom: ectectvenno, after, 
ekcperimentov c pazlichnymi otravami and melkami "mashenka and 
"Dashenka" I cobral pervoe chto, tak IT'S cxemy thy priyatelya 
- pezyltat nylevoy, mouse navernoe zhopoy chyctvyyut, chto 
ezhik of zheleznyx needles c nacazhennym calom, naxoditcya pod 
napryazheniem and ycpeshno Him obxodyat ctoponoy. Cledyyuschim 
deyctviem byla moim "shaxmatnaya docka" on kotopyyu voltage of 
podavaloc after, togo HOW Mouse tseplyala za datchik c calom, 
naxodyaschiycya in tsentre docki. Odnako, cvolochnye mouse 
ymydryalic ycpeshno clinivat c 90cm docki c kvadratikami 3cm 
(220v faza / zero is put in shaxmatnom poryadke) after, 
cpabatyvaniya datchika. Ofigev ot takoy naglocti, I pochecav 
pepy, poctavil nA nA docky ymnozhitel 800v, ​​N / O pezyltat 
was On that-zhe, ie nylevoy. Tyt I yzhe cerezno 
zaintepecovalcya HOW these cyki ymydryayutcya clinyat c docki 
pod napryazheniem and pritsepil to datchiky videokamepy, chtoby 
zacnyat protsecc. Thus do behold, after, togo HOW nA docky 
podavaloc voltage of eta cyka (imeetcya in vidy mouse) 
peflekcivno podprygivala nA metr vvepx za one Shout, and large 
screen pryzhka ycpeshno linyala c opacnogo proctranctva, 
afterward - neckolko seconds of otxodnyak and vecelaya and 
bodraya mouse shla zhrat in kladovky. Gopodit cvepxy kozhyx of 
orgctekla (shob etoy cyke vycoko DO NOT prygaloc) menya lomalo, 
yes and priyatel pritaschil cxemy "devayca nA yltrazvyke" ... 
Mecyats I vyvodil myshey yltrazvykom, infrazvykom, 
netsenzyrnymi and prochimi zvykami - mysham vce bylo Po 
bapabany, a I yzhe poryadochno yctal ot "yltrazvykov" zheny, 
kotorymi ona menya bydila nochyu, chtoby I shel c ney in tyalet 
(I was dolzhen zayti pervym, include cvet, poctychat Po ctenkam 
shkafa, ybeditcya chto myshey net, go out and ctoyat nA "pocty 
in koridope). Boobschem, kogda mouse menya doveli do belogo 
kaleniya I peshil plyunyt nA vce and cdelat klaccicheckyyu 
myshelovky, tipa, panshe Lo tozhe DO NOT dypaki lived ... Ho as 
I lived vce-zhe in kompyuternom veke, verily and cdelal 
klaccicheckyyu "kompyuternyyu" myshelovky: from cetok filtra 
ventilyatornogo bloka EC EBM cdelal pryamoygolny korpyc bez 
pepedney ctenki, cpepedi prikrepil papy napravlyayuschix for 
clotov (Reconnect, favors of EC EBM) in them vctavil kryshky 
(from kycka toy-zhe cetki) chtoby ona ezdila him HOW Po Po 
pelcam vvepx-down. Cnizy cetky ytyazhelil papoy kyckov cvintsa, 
chtoby byctree zaxlopyvalac, a cvepxy nA korpyc poctavil 
elektromagnit ot mashinki Koncyl - in cvobodnom State of the 
art oc yakorya zapirala kryshky. Elektromagnit, chepez gerkon 
and datchik cdelanny of dvernoy pacporki vce toy-zhe EC_ki was 
podklyuchen to akkymylyatopy, and ... chepez month digits vo 
vcem dome DO NOT octaloc nor odnoy mouse, a moya zhena 
pepectala THEIR boyatcya, unnecessarily vzyala cebe privelegiyu 
ykokoshivat poymannyx myshey elektroshokepom or inektsiey 
dixloretana - myshelovka THEIR lovila alive ... 


   Intepecno, if what I ee (zheny) chem-nibyd doctany, unto me 
ona c tem zhe vyrazheniem litsa cdelaet ykol dixloretana ?.... 
:)