City #17 06 июля 1999

Самиздат

Beech - The Adventures of Shtiplitsa and one another in ppiklyucheniya Bopmana.

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                         BEECH
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 Shtirlitsa adventures and other adventures Bormann


                     continued


  Stirlitz morning was awakened by the lowing of cows in the 
barn. "The Village" - he thought, getting out from under the 
pillow glass. 

  - "How did I get here?" Damn, how, after yesterday's chump 
cracking ... " 

  Bottle from under the "Smirnoff" was depressing
empty. Shtirlitsa distortions. A bottle of moonshine
gave oil.

  Stirlitz clutched his nose and sipped. Inside the stomach 
gurgled and hissed. Russian intelligence officer let 
yellowish-greyish saliva to the wall and jumped into the yard. 

  From the wall of the barn was sticking someone's head. 
Stirlitz looked carefully and learned Eismann.


  - And I'm stuck Stirlitz! - Happily he said,
idly beating back of the head on the wall.

  - And where Schellenberg? - Vividly asked Stirlitz going to 
frown and seriously fun. 

  - Swept away, - said Eismann .- he's not so thick. - And he 
smugly pushes the stomach. 

  Stirlitz cursed and became the wind, "Packard." From
Houses seemed to Wayne in underwear made out of the bag, with 
the inscription "The United States of America. Genuine 
Condoms". 

  - Vodka brought, - a quivering voice asked
he, with gnashing scratching swollen unshaven face.

  Schellenberg fled far away. Beyond the river he was caught
robbers and stripped almost naked that. Schellenberg
crying and mothers to their native language (in English).
Stirlitz calmed.

  Then put in the Packard and drove back.

  - Do not go to this shatrapu! - Screamed Schellenberg. - He's 
on us to plow hoshet. 

  - It will no longer - promised Stirlitz - I told him
in the face with the ladies, he knows me.

  - I do not believe - said Schellenberg and then, having 
received cuff, painful tongue.


  Wayne was standing on the porch. His face was troubled.

  - Stirlitz, we have guests - he said, pointing his chin at 
the detachment of special police, sat down in a haystack of 
straw. Hands were busy with handcuffs. 

  - What do you want? - Cool Stirlitz asked, feeling in his 
pocket, a silk lining, cold and weighty grenade. 

  - Surrender, Isaev, - said the major, not having
name. - And then we'll take a storm and
hurt punish.

  - Try it - defiantly said Stirlitz, taking
grenade. Omon'ovtsy staggered.

  "It will be a very good fight" - thought
Schellenberg. He is, as always, was not mistaken. Grenade
with no internal, but stuffed with nominal
lead, deftly danced through the empty heads OMON'ovtsev
and personally to the head Besfamilnov Major, extracting
of it sounds empty bottles and suspicious of
timbre of the sounds.

  - I will punish you ... - hissed Stirlitz, basting
grenade over his head. Major howled dreadfully.

  Eismann and Schellenberg with difficulty tore raging
Shtirlitsa of moaning weakly, but clearly materyaschegosya 
major. 

  Detachment of special police in a panic ran up throughout the 
county. Major remains. 

  - Writing to you a couple more times in the face -
Stirlitz said his desire to major. Eismann helpfully fussed 
about Shtirlitsa, adjusting spoiled brawl looks iodine. 

  - Zha fluoride? - Asked Schellenberg.

  - First, embedding, and then decide - said Stirlitz
wiping his hands on his jacket. Fist of his left
hands were covered with three fresh abrasions on the teeth Major
and a bruise from a blow on the head. Thinking unit
the Major was empty, but solid, like an empty bottle
of the glorious countryside of Champagne.

  - Well, - said the major difficulty turning swollen jaw - now 
Stirlitz, you just shoot by hanging. 

  - When pymayut - said Eismann and immediately received
Fresh cuff. Cuffs have not Shtirlitsa
stale.

  - And it's true, shot - said, thinking
Eismann.

  - And us along with him - he added in an undertone, and
was also endowed with the same fresh cuffs.
Stirlitz not like gloomy thoughts, and preferred to banish them 
with vodka, corned beef and sweet radio operators. 

  Wayne came out of the house in the new pants on the other
inscription:

  "To my dear friend Wayne from a dear friend
Shtirlitsa to the day of taking the village Ulyul-Mumu under 
the lake Hassan (China). "


  Inscription get a long and uneven, but clever.

  Wayne rubbed his hands, nyvshie from the handcuffs. Chainsaw 
"Friendship" modification "of Africa" ​​pilila even blued 
steel. 

  - What is it? - Wayne asked, still rubbing his hands.

  - He's fighting - said Schellenberg.

  - Well, you let him - advised Wayne.

  Stirlitz cried out "you bastard, bastard," rushed to
Major and began to beat on a sweaty face. He was amused
no joke.

  Russian intelligence officer did not immediately torn away 
from the double Major beaten. Major rolled his eyes in surprise

and spitting. Beautiful black eye the size of
eight to twelve inches shone triumphant
triumph. Stirlitz fumed. He believed
themselves untouchable Russian spy, a lot
times Hero of the Soviet Union and even an honorary member of 
the Politburo. Winner of the above titles could not assume that 
a fat pig in the embroidered shirt, corn glut oneself, decided 
to arrest his dearest friend Shtirlitsa.


  - Listen, Major, I need to Moscow - said Stirlitz. - Come on 
three hundred green ticket. 

  - A razhve you do not have? - Schellenberg asked in surprise, 
but then shut up, receiving a hefty blow in her ear.


  Major pulled out a stack of raznosortnoy currency Stirlitz 
snatched it and said: 

  - I did understand, what do you want ...


               to be continued ...