City #08 31 марта 1999

Юмор

Smiley - From the notes DZHEHTLMEHA.

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                     Smiley
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(C) K. Melihan


                NOTES FROM THE GENTLEMEN


  If a gentleman named lady dear, then it
need a cheap lady.


  Should a gentleman cast a leg over the other if one foot is 
not it? 


  The fact that a woman on a figure, often a man can not afford.


  Woman-like door with spring: you're her to him, she
from you, you have it on my own-it to you.


  The main task of chemistry, according to women's cause
reaction of men.


  Horn of the fastest growing on his bald head.


  Experience is what helps a woman get married, and
men remain unmarried.


  Happiness to have a beautiful wife, and woe-be is
happiness.


  Man-like limpet: first, he said to the woman
stick, and then washed off.


  One lady complained to the other:
-I can not find the man: drunk do not like me, but
sober do not like me.


  One gentleman, looking over the shoulder of his son
strictly said to him:
Hooks-write neater!
-This is not a hook, - answered the son .- This integrals.


  A true gentleman would never abandon a lady, and
make it so that it threw him.


  Love must be a woman, so it was not
ashamed to appear in the eyes of his wife.


  To the owners do not think that the gentleman came
only has he tries to drink as much as possible.


  If a gentleman came to the lady with a bouquet, then
he did not have enough money on wine.


  Silly attracts bright, so dress up as bright women, when they 
want to attract men. 


  Do not be afraid if his wife is preparing a bad-bad if it 
makes us all to eat. 


  One gentleman wrote a letter from a business trip
his wife: "Honey, it's better you do not have a single woman! 
Yesterday I was again convinced in it!" 


  One lady came to the store to buy twenty
pounds of candy.
-Just do not sweet - she said the seller - I for
memorial services.


  A true gentleman always carries a lady to the house
if this gentleman's house.


  -Here you five rubles, which I took from you
debt - said the gentleman, lady.
-And I forgot! "- She said .- What is your honest!
"She forgot! - He thought .- What a fool I am!"


  From the gateway pops up on the street with a gentleman
bulging eyes and rushes to the first comer
-Excuse me, you do not eat there?


  A true gentleman always miss lady ahead
if the incision on her dress from behind.


  A true gentleman always wipe his feet on the rug
before they knock on the door.


  One drunken gentleman wandered into a lecture on mathematics. 
For a long time listening, and then shouted lecturer: -Your 
evidence about the dangers of drinking are not convincing! 


  Some women are shy, embarrassed that the man refuses.


  The woman thinks, who go to visit, and the man-with
someone there to leave.


  A rich man can have a lot of women and the poor woman has to 
have a lot of men.