Both laughter and sin
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Sergey Loboda (RGB)
Additions and cuts - DWT
Everyone who does not stop trying to commit suicide -
stavva, will be shot.
* * *
In the apartment of the new Russian it is heard
phone call:
- Can I gosh?
- He's at the dacha.
- Do you have a dacha?
- No. He's testifying at the tax office.
police.
* * *
A new Russian at an appointment with a psychiatrist:
- So you claim that you always cry-
do you tax with joy? And it's been a long time since
did it start for you?
* * *
A new Russian comes to the weapons shop
gasin:
- I need a 45 caliber pistolc la-
grain sight.
- Do you need it for self-defense?
- No, for self-defense I have hell-
bokat.
* * *
- Dad, dad! And what, pure, is different?
like construction from perestroika?
- Well, son, it’s like an arrow and
shootout.
* * *
The new Russian, fed up with life,
he who has seen everything and has everything will tan on
beach and suddenly sees a golden fish in the water
ku,tsap ee and says:
- Come on, come up with three wishes for me!
* * *
Two brothers met.
- I was in Germany, 10 thousand marks for
I earned it for a week.
- Well, brother, you're swollen. But you're all over
You can’t write so many letters in life.
* * *
The brothers are riding in a jeep, suddenly - a blow to
roof. One of the brothers says:
- Oh, Carlson is sitting on his head again!* * *
My wife has only two complaints:
1. Nothing to wear.
2. Not enough space in the closet.
* * *
Ivanov died a sweet death. On air conditioning
Tersk factory crushed by chocolate chip
that one. Sidorov is pure. Slipped in
bath on a bar of soap. Petrov is well-fed. For-
trampled by a bull at the slaughterhouse. Fedorov left
from life intelligently. The flask choked -
soy while reading. A Vasin... In short,
he worked as an accenizer. Themselves pony-
maete...
* * *
Psychic attack - sailors galloping
on zebras...
* * *
Why do doctors treat you so badly?
computerization of their activities?
- Because then what they write is
it will be possible to understand.
* * *
The wife is not necessarily the head of the house...
Sometimes it's the mother-in-law.
* * *
- What is Japan?
- Japan is a country of the narrow-eyed
sun.
* * *
- My wife lives in Minsk.
- Well what! Nice refrigerator...
* * *
Vladimir Putin confirmed that he is
I am a strong supporter of freedom of speech.
“We will freely catch them all!”
the president promised.
* * *
Everything should be in a person.
(Pathologist).
* * *
Teacher to student:
- Leave the class!- For what?
- Out the door!
- Why?
- On the floor!
* * *
The baby elephant rolled in flour, after which
goes to the mirror and says to himself:
- This is a dumpling!!!
* * *
In Picasso's studio, the millionaire is interested in
was one abstract painting:
- What is drawn here? - asked
she.
“200 thousand dollars,” answered the artist.
nickname
* * *
After twenty years of playing the violin,
the trapper automatically becomes a Jew.
* * *
Adam was apparently drunk that night,
Since we left the monkeys...
* * *
A woman is a weak, defenseless cy-
society, fromwhich cannot be saved.
* * *
- Comrades! We are being fooled! Cubes "Mag-
gi" are actually parallelepipeds!!!
* * *
Announcement:
"I'm looking for a guinea pig. An experienced
face".
* * *
I tried homeless people...
* * *
- Under her robe there was everything without anything -
th...
* * *
Presenter:
- You didn’t win, but how do you like it nohpabu-
Was the race itself?
- We liked moonshine, that’s why
didn't win...
* * *
Pride is the invisible bone that
paradise does not allow the neck to bend.* * *
A young woman was walking with a girl about four years old.
three past the line at the liquor store. A
it was early morning, spring, and the gardens were blooming, and
the birds sang, and the trams rang, and they walked
he and the girl are going to kindergarten. And the girl says
to mom:
- Mom! You said that the stork came to me
carried, and Pashka from the senior group said,
that if you don’t fuck, you won’t have children
children!
And the birds fell silent and shut up tpam-
bau, and there was universal silence, and
the young woman was precipitated, and oc-
became silent and glazed over. But came out
queue, an old drunk with a drunken face,
he took the soiled cap off his head and
said:
- Madam! But she’s right!
* * *
Two narcs are going to the city and before the post
the first one says:
- Vasya, what if the cop stops you? What
shall we talk?
- What does he ask - you tell me, and I’ll come -
May I answer!!!
They are slowed down. Cop:
-Where are you coming from?
- Vasya, he asks where we are going from.
- Tell him that cfishing!
- From fishing!
- Where did you go fishing?
- Vasya, he asks where did you go fishing?
- Say, on the Oka!
- On the Oka!
- How's Oka?
- Vasya, he says KAKAKA!
- Well, tell him KYKYKY!
* * *
The grandson says to his grandfather-general:
- Grandfather, are you going to die soon?
- Why is this suddenly?
- Yes, you want to listen to a military orchestra -
moose
* * *
- Hello! Is this a fire station?
- No! This is the fire department as a whole!
* * *
A boy comes home and asks y
parents:
- What is an ass?
- No, son, there is no such word.
- It’s strange - there is an ass, but there are no words...
* * *
I'm not a racist. I hate everythingnational
ness is the same.
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