Before you begin reading the calculations below,
kaza, I (STEVER OF CHG) will tell you a little more about this
section.... Its name is "IBM - SPECTRUM", therefore
One would expect something somehow related to IBM.
Indeed, stories pumped over will be published here
me with IBM on SPECCY. The authors of these works of art are
there are well-known and little-known IBM hackers, as well as
experienced users who have discovered their talent for writing
craft.
The story printed below was downloaded from one of the many
Moscow BBS's (naturally IBM's), where he stood first
in the list by popularity rating among their peers. We'll be on-
hope that you will like him too. So, I suggest you
plunge into the world of IBM, so unfamiliar to SPECCY users!!!!
STEVER OF CHG, 10/11/95.
┌──────────────────────────────────┐
│ Copyright (c) 1992, A. Shcherbakov │
│ All rights reserved. │
╘══════════════════════════════════╛9600 baud and that's it...
────════════════════════════ ════════════════════════────
Chapter One,
in which Winnie the Pooh sets himself
two more phone lines
Vinnie looked up from the keyboard for a moment,
I would like to wipe my sweaty forehead with my paw. Today is a rare day for him
lucky.
A few days ago, for a jar of honey with two
with wires and a light bulb on the lid, which the Rabbit
blindly mistook it for a high-speed modem, he knocked it out
dig around with a crowbar in the international junction box
telephone network "SAVA-International". The rabbit was planted
for fifteen days, but now all calls for calls are for
hillock, to the neighboring Forest, they came to the Oak, to the Bees, why
They were very angry and promised to raise their prices next year.
three times the cost of honey.
Winnie the Pooh quickly rang two neighboring
forests, where under the name Piglet and the password "ZHELUDD" he leaked
a hefty toy.
After that, he began calling all BBS (then
yes, Brevno Board System) within the native Forest.
Now the hot modem produced by the company
"Kanga and K5Z5RU Communication Industries" little by little
cooled down, poured with water from a teapot that had cooled for three days -
ka.
Suddenly Vinnie was called from behind.
“Christopher Robin has come,” thought Vinnie, leaving
to Norton. For some reasons he did not want to de-
pour with hima toy merged from a distant overseas Forest
coy, and besides, Christopher Robin often reminded Vinnie about
sawdust in his head, which made the little bear a little angry.
- Hello, Vinny! - said Christopher Robin.
“That means something,” said Winnie the Pooh.
thoughtfully, getting out of the depths of the DOWNLOAD directory
somewhere higher to the root.
“The rabbit has already been released,” said Christopher Ro-
bin.
-What did he do? - asked Vinnie indifferently-
but... Christopher Robin didn't answer.
- Well, Vinny, did you leak the eighth Space Quest? -
asked Christopher Robin hopefully.
-- If I didn’t download it, it means I didn’t leak it,
- said Winnie the Pooh evasively. - I think so...
“Okay,” said Christopher Robin, dejectedly.
shi. - It's time for me to go home. To the women... to the grandmother. How do you salt it?
- dial... I just don’t know when you got the
I'm wondering - as long as you harness this philosopher...
- Which philosopher? - suddenly perked up
Vinnie.
- Yes, this donkey, Eeyore... Who else? Wheelbarrow
It doesn't work, what else can you do...
Vinnie looked out the window. Next to his chic
A Mercedes, trimmed with plush on the outside for beauty, stood
Christopher Robin's modest Ford, which was driven
female donkey Eeyore. The famous philosopher was as boring as ever
Yes, I looked at the license plates on Pooh’s car in bewilderment:
"MI-1992-OT", and I probably thought aboutsomething-rending
spectacle.
- A brilliant philosopher... The greatest program
myst of modernity... And harness it to a heavy car, -
Winnie the Pooh indignantly grabbed the keyboard to
bring it down on Christopher Robin's head, but he
prudently disappeared behind the door. Through the window you could see how
Christopher Robin walked up to his Ford and kicked it in the...
middle wheel, swore, then went up to Eeyore and did
same thing.
“Barbarian,” thought Winnie the Pooh. - “In my opinion,
yes."
He drank some water from the kettle and left the rest
poured onto the furiously smoking modem cover. The water hissed and
Winnie the Pooh jumped back in fear so as not to get burned by the steam.
He scratched his head and decided to fry some eggs on the modem.
The phone attached to eleven rang
telephone line. Vinnie picked up the phone and listened cautiously.
was naughty - The bees have started a new fashion of joking with the poor bear -
jonkom: at first it was quiet in the receiver, and then it was heard
eerie buzzing sound.
This time Winnie was called by the Rabbit.
- Vinny, is your line free?! - admiringly
he yelled, burbling as always. - I didn’t expect it... Tell me,
Vinny, the modem you gave me is Hayes-compatible
my?
“Of course,” said Vinny, rummaging through the closet in
looking for an unempty jar of honey.
- Why doesn’t Tegminate want to understand him?
- Which Terminate? - Vinny was feignedly surprised.
- I didn’tI know this one at all... Maybe it's under Lexand?
“No, no, no, no,” the Rabbit screamed quickly.
- Anything, but not under Lexand!
-- ...or under SM1200?
- Under SM? - The rabbit thought. - I don’t know... It’s necessary
veg. Tell me, Vinny, do you have any left?
some of this... what's his name?... telecommunications pa-
chum like Telix there so that he...
“Damned intellectual,” thought Vinnie, not
Shay Rabbit. He comfortably scooped honey into the jar with his paw and
immediately put it in his mouth, and therefore could not distract
repent of extraneous things. When the honey ran out, Vinny
Pooh threw the can on the floor and shouted into the phone:
- Yes, yes, there is, I have everything, I’ll bring it later,
don’t occupy the line, big-eared guy,” he hung up.
Out of respect for the intelligentsia, the last word is
the log was pronounced after the Rabbit had hung
handset.
SAVA called, which was dealing with the
together with Tigra she stretched threads and strings through the Forest,
which she and her companion passed off as telephone lines
NI. The phone in the Forest worked well without them.
“Tell me, Mr. Pooh,” said SAVA diplomatic
matically. - Do you want to install two more add-ons?
Telly lines at preferential rates?
“Drop that tone, SAVA,” said Vinny. - I wish
I have two lines, it’s been three months since I sent in my application...
“Sorry, Pooh,” said SAVA. - Tigerchewed
all the wires are from the mail server, and mail does not last for a long time
came...
“Wires,” thought Pooh angrily. - "Knit socks
from such wires."
- ... in total you will have forty-six lines, -
SAVA continued. - For installation within four days -
within a certain period of time you must pay a fee of twenty
six Les-marks, after which...
Winnie the Pooh didn't listen to her anymore and hung up
on the floor littered with cigarette butts and honeycombs. When
Short beeps were soon heard from the receiver, he calmly
put it on the phone lever and returned to the heated
modem, on which scrambled eggs were bubbling.
Having spent a little energy on its preparation,
the modem became a little cooler; water poured onto the modem from
The kettle was no longer hissing, and no steam was coming from it.
Vinny spat on his paws for courage and typed
the treasured "telix" command.
Chapter Two,
in which Christopher Robin falls
in a not very pleasant position
The next day at Christopher's humble bank
Robin had a scandal: forty million Forest marks sailed away from
a common bank account in the neighboring Forest under a fake
password received via the banking network at three o'clock in the morning at
day off, that is yesterday.
Judging by the call log, the attacker
they write in crime reports, “he entered the apartment using
selection of keys", that isguessed the password for the system with
the third time, alternately logging in under different
names.
Automatic caller ID
identified the subscriber's number accurately all three times
(68976)2423324. Christopher Robin decided to hold a private
investigation as the stolen money was laundered
after his operation with the honeycomb drug, and
liked the Lesnaya Telephone Station, where he and
Tiger spent four hours looking for the rope leading to the subscriber
(68976)2423324. The rope was soon found, but the search
nents were not successful: the second end of the rope was
led Christopher Robin to a completely prosaic bush, on
in which the jar was hanging by means of this particular rope
from beer.
There was a cigarette butt lying next to the bush.
"Marl-BOR", three burnt matches and the magazine "Forest No-
News", published by the publishing house "Pyatachkovskaya Pravda".
“Did Piglet steal my money?” - think
Christopher Robin was small, but immediately dismissed this with indignation
thought. All Piglet could do was
steal a balloon somewhere at Eeyore's birthday
donkey's favorite size.
Immediately Christopher Robin thought about the possible
participation in the Eeyore robbery, but this thought was also rejected
metena - Eeyore couldn’t finish the thought he started, not that
to put your hooves on the keyboard and pick up pa-
role.There was only one inhabitant of the Forest left, who could
do this: the famous hacker Winnie the Pooh.
But Christopher Robin also believed in Winnie the Pooh, like
himself, and then, according to rumors spread by Pyatach-
com, Vinnie was now busy making a toy, in which
The second main character was a pig, co-
acorn picker
Christopher Robin got into the Ford and waved the whip
Tom...
A foreign sponsor gave Rabbit a modem for 14400
baud, after which he reached the United Forests of America
Ricky, where on one of the BBS of one of the many there
Lesov Rosin downloaded a manual for making me-
yes from last year's dry leaves. This is the guide Rabbit
overnight translated into the Forest language by Promt, after which
Vinnie stank and, burr more than ever, declared,
what is the owner of such a valuable thing.
Winnie the Pooh demanded to urgently give him this
valuable stuff, but the Rabbit was desperately showing off, and Vin-
not in retaliation every day sent him on the BBS (under the name-
name "Rabbit's Nightmare") are huge and senseless
Our files, thirty megabytes each, under various tempting
names. Maybe less, but not much - at Vinnie's
the modems were all truly high-speed, and their
The free space on Rabbit's hard drive was measured in megabytes -
mi five.
Three days later, the Rabbit gave up, and Winnie the Pooh,
leaving Laser Jet IVprint a valuable document
processing of recyclable materials (that is, leaves), went to
Forest Telephone Station to chat with your old
buddy Tiger.
Tigger sat in front of the monitor and played selflessly
in Double Tetris for two - with both paws, swinging in
keeping time with the music and roaring with pleasure.
- Hello, Tigger! - said Winnie the Pooh, trying
turn off the music.
- Hello, Pooh! - Tigger growled. - Look,
what a great game!
“This is the sixth time you’ve shown it to me,”
said Winnie the Pooh. - Does that mean something?
Tigger stopped playing and started demonstrating to Pooh
his latest achievements: hundred-kilobyte music in
Scream Tracker.
All Tigers music had a huge amount
effects with drummers, completely meaningless, and that’s all
they buzzed fiercely.
“It’s “zh-zh” for a reason,” said Winnie the Pooh.
seriously, remembering, obviously, the fall from the Oak, and
drank.
Tigger became wary and turned off the music.
- Well, what cool games are there? - he growled
interrogatively.
- There is a jump. It's called "Bumpy".
- What about a simple one?
“See for yourself,” said Winnie the Pooh, taking out
floppy disk
Tigger fiercely grabbed the floppy disk and soon
a copy of the toy appeared on his hard drive, and Vinny became
the owner of a battered and bitten floppy disk.
Initial musicTiger was amused.
Then the difficulties began.
- Difficult! - Tigger growled pitifully. - I would like
more lives...
“They’ll break it,” Winnie the Pooh said confidently. - Here
I’ll send it to St. Lesburg or Leskva, they’ll look there and
They'll break it right away.
-- UGi will break everything! - Tigger screamed joyfully.
“UGi won’t break it, UGi will ruin it,” said Vinny
Pooh is confident, but in the MCL they will break it.
- Why don’t you break it yourself? - asked
The Tiger pleadingly, realizing that there is no one to rely on.
- No time, Tigger. But tell me, Tigger, weakly
so that I call someone, but he has a caller ID
showed some nasty stuff? Well, not my phone?
- Am I weak? - Tigger was indignant. - Yes, the tip
wet your tail! Now, I'll...
Tigger reached into the wiring closet, there was a crash,
sparks flew; soon appeared from the smoking box
A tiger with pieces of wire in its teeth.
- Now VFE, not a single Caller ID will hit the mark, - prory-
he chanted joyfully.
- Well, thanks Tigger... - Pooh crumbled into
acknowledgments. “There’s a new game for me,” he said in
farewell.
Chapter Three,
in which the Rabbit almost misses St. Kondratiy,
because Winnie the Pooh ruins his modem
Vinny gloomily started his Mercedes and drove out
Downy edge. He stopped where the road forked
I was lying around, thinking wherego. Finally he decided on the direction
run up to the Rabbit and ruffle his ears for not taking too long
gave him a doc about leaf processing.
Near the Rabbit's hole stood rumpled on all sides
"Zaporozhets" with a broken windshield. Vinny got out
"Mercedes", the doors automatically locked and the teddy bear
looked critically at Rabbit's car. He poked him
foot in the left wheel, "Zaporozhets" instantly settled on its side,
and Vinny, sighing, came closer to the hole.
- Rabbit, are you home? - he asked into the hole, from where
Behind them came the faint but familiar smell of rotten cabbage.
The rabbit did not answer.
“Come on, break on Chat faster,” he demanded
Pooh.
The hole responded with an ominous silence. To the smell
The smell of carvalol was added to the rotten cabbage.
Soon trembling ears first appeared from the hole
Rabbit, and then their owner appeared - he decided, obviously
it is clear that answering Winnie the Pooh that he himself is not at home,
at least inhumanely.
“Hello, big-eared,” said Pooh affably, in
I mean, greeted the Rabbit.
“Hey, Pooh,” said the Rabbit in fear. - For-
go...
Pooh did not keep himself waiting and quickly crawled into
hole.
In the middle of the Rabbit's hole stood a tattered EC1840
with a black and white monitor, but next to her stood a luxurious
Zuhel, shimmering with light bulbs and LCD monitor.
Among other things in the rabbit hole there wasa bed of straw, a barrel with rotten cabbage and a large
buffet, which Winnie the Pooh fixed his gaze on.
- Do you want some sguffenki? - asked the Rabbit with confidence
doy.
- No, thank you. Beer is better.
“But there’s no beer...” said the Rabbit in fear.
“Well, then bring it,” said Pooh, pushing
him to the exit.
When the Rabbit disappeared from sight, he indifferently
loaded ES'ku, without even paying attention to the fact that
BBS Rabbit be careful not to accidentally leak anything
him, the timid user dug.
Then Winnie the Pooh pulled out the cord from Zuhe-
la, the wiring on which was stripped with strong teeth
Rabbit, and indifferently stuck the ends into the socket. Modem from-
vetil with a surprised squeak and some extraneous rustling
I eat. Winnie the Pooh coughed from the smoke and pulled out the cord from the ro-
sockets.
After this, the EC1840 was turned on again and Vinny and
I noticed with satisfaction that the modem was not working. After
That's why he, as if nothing had happened, walked up to the Rabbit's buffet
and one by one he emptied all the jars of honey and condensed
milk, as well as thirty-two bottles of Carvalol and a package
buckwheat - but this is already too much.
The Rabbit appeared with a bottle of beer.
“Oh, thank you,” said Pooh, and the beer was sent away.
leno after the bag of cereal. “Yes,” said Pooh of Lazyness.
in. “Something doesn’t work for you BBS,” Rabbit grabbed
for the heart. - I’m calling you - to connectI can't
gu... - explained Pooh, pouring what he
left in the carvalol bottle. - Well, I'm off...
Pooh did not crawl out of the Rabbit's hole with the usual poo-
that is, through the front entrance, and went out carefully so as not to
injure your paws by breaking a window. He remembered how last time
I couldn’t move for forty minutes because of the honey I had eaten.
He got into the Mercedes and went about his business.
Driving past the Oak, Pooh frowned and raised everything
window and accelerated heavily - The bees considered him a vile scrap -
protection against unauthorized copying of honey,
violator of Copyrights (meaning, as everyone knows,
"Copied to the right" or "Copied correctly") and
were disliked in every possible way.
Vinnie drove up to a house with a sign on the door.
written “Do Not Ent...”, which, as Pyata explained to everyone,
chok, was the English translation of his clever surname
"To outsiders V." (or, as I remember, William the Outsider
him).
He stopped the car and pressed the horn.
Piglet immediately jumped out of the door with two balloons.
balls - blue and red, and joyfully jumped on
one leg, in the sense of one hoof.
“Winnie, Winnie,” the pig squealed joyfully,
- I’m so glad you came! And then COMPUTER (Piglet
always diligently pronounced this word) hung the day before -
ra... that is, the day before yesterday, and what to do, just don’t
I know... Ahdid you write a toy?
- What toy? - asked the tortured constant -
the great annoyance of Winnie the pig.
- Well, the one where the little pig collects such good
little acorns...
- What kind of little pig? - Vinnie was surprised. - I
I didn't write anything like that...
“It’s a pity,” said Pyata, not at all upset.
chock. - I have already promised to DISTRIBUTE it to everyone (with this word
Piglet always replaced the words “drain”, “reset” and others
some others)... and SAVE, and Kanga, and Rabbit... And Christophe-
ru Robin. Yes, he came today to Eeyore. About you
asked.
- What did you ask? - Pooh was wary.
- Yes, all sorts of bullshit... How do you live, how-
come on, children... Oh, why am I doing this? ASKED, DID NOT DISTRIBUTE
Would you like some kind of toy for me... And in general, all sorts of things...
- Okay, Piglet, now I’ll give you a digger -
play for now...
“Diggera...” whined Piglet. - I'm already into it
played last week three days in a row... Even from a chair
fell - oh, hit a bump... Give me a better arkanoid. Or
prince. Of Persia.
Chapter Four,
in which the Rabbit plans sinister
terrorist attack
Kanga came to Rabbit to answer a call about a warranty
renovation of Zuhel.
-- The modem is not working? - she asked affectionately. -
Ru, honey, look...
Little Roo took a screwdriver out of his bag and hesitantly
approacheddamaged modem.
“Unplug it from the socket,” Ken said carefully.
ha. Little Roo obediently tore the wire from the socket - plug
sat in it unusually tightly - and declared that it was so
it was.
“Yes, honey,” Kanga said affectionately. - And from
Disable this nasty thing, this infection too...
Ru also tore off the cord from the ES.
“Now take off the lid,” said Kanga. - From-
with a twist, not with your teeth! You'll ruin your teeth!! What, have you already taken it off?
Roux confirmed that the cover had already been removed.
“Okay,” said Kanga, taking it out of her bag.
a screwdriver, larger in scale, but the same in appearance
the kind that Ru used.
“We’ll see, we’ll see...” she said thoughtfully
Kanga, and from the unfortunate Zuhel they climbed in all directions
wires and some charred marks, similar to charred
bones.
The rabbit became hysterical.
- That's why it doesn't work! - said joyfully
Little Roo, fiercely stabbing the screwdriver into the processor.
The rabbit fainted.
When he came to, Kanga and Roo were doing
by trying to put the lid back on the tortured man
Zuhelya.
- Well, how? - asked the Rabbit in a hoarse voice.
-- Works! - Kanga said affectionately.
--About MNP, Rabbit, you'll never hear-
"You're welcome," Ru said joyfully. - Really, mom, huh?
“Really, honey,” said Kanga. - Why d-
de Rabbit MNP? He has it too- those are the ears!
- When I grow up, I will have these too! -
Ru stated.
- No way! - Kanga was indignant. - Otherwise you’ll-
you look like an idiot like Uncle Rabbit, and who cares for you?
will it be loving?
Little Roo had to agree that this
no one will love, and the happy family left the hole
The rabbit, leaving its owner with the torn Zuhel,
house with an indescribable amount of parts lying around, in
during the repairs turned out to be superfluous.
When the Rabbit came to his senses after the shock, he discovered
Rumored that MNP was completely in his updated modem
missing. The rabbit became angry with the whole Forest and swore
plan some kind of terrorist attack.
Late at night not far from Poohovaya edge, where
the Forest Substation hummed ominously, a dark
a pressing shadow with long ears and an axe.
She, having made her way between a dense plexus of prickly
wire, which hummed rhythmically from high voltage,
got close to the foggy glowing windows
Winnie the Pooh and threw off the old and torn black
coat.
The rabbit (and it was he) gnashed ominously
teeth and looked out the window.
There Winnie the Pooh, lounging in a plush chair,
I lazily watched the pictures of the BBS "Plusheviy" come out
Bear (4 lines)", and decided what would be so healthy
drain.
The rabbit gnashed his teeth again toVinnie
Pooh knew who he was dealing with and looked around.
A fat ca-
Bel service Interforest Telephone Lines.
The rabbit gnashed his teeth for the last time and swung...
hit with an ax...
Winnie the Pooh was going to leak the last list of files
from the "Teddy Bear", pressed the "D" button, but unexpectedly
a grinding sound was heard in the street, sparks flew, and on the screen
multi-colored garbage began to flicker, the conversation stopped
telephone with Kanga regarding the delivery of a new modem, for-
the security alarm squealed, and Winnie the Pooh managed to replace
move as if at great speed through barbed wire
Someone's scorched figure jumped over screaming.
-- @#$! - said Winnie the Pooh, furiously hanging up the phone
on the floor If the conversation with Kanga had not stopped, she
She would probably go deaf and her ears would wither.
Vinnie took the double-barreled shotgun from the wall, which he swung
zero to Piglet's Lexand modem (who was completely
not needed), loaded both barrels with the remains of what I ate yesterday
cake and other rubbish and went outside.
He fired the first salvo into the air.
To his surprise, no one yelled "don't shoot"
or “I give up.”
Vinny fired without looking away from himself, and hit
mu-to, in Eeyore.
The donkey brayed wildly, threw up all four hooves
immediately and quickly killed... in the sense, flew away at the speed of the reaction
tive bomber.
- Eeyore - this is not without reason, -Winnie the Pooh said
out loud and went home.
In the morning he got into his Mercedes and went to swear
with Kanga - for the fact that the security alarm did not work -
tion, and with SAVA - for the fact that the wires (threads/strings)
were not very durable.
Kanga reacted to Pooh's statement very
indifferent.
“Here’s dear Roo coming back from tennis,” she said.
she. - And everything will be fixed instantly. You know, Pooh, my Roo...
Pooh didn't listen any further.
In the car, he took out a half-smoked bull from a pack,
I lit it and felt the greatest pleasure.
He stepped on the gas and headed towards SAVE.
“Hello, SAVA,” he said from the doorway.
SAVA sat at her desk with 386
Compaq and was thinking hard about where the key was on the keyboard.
“Y”, although she didn’t need the “Y” key at all.
“Hello, Mr. Winnie the Pooh,” said
SAVA is diplomatic.
“Hello, old hanger,” said Winnie the Pooh. -
So that you freeze three times a minute. I have a phone
it still doesn't work...
- All forty-six lines? - asked SAVA.
“All forty-six,” confirmed Pooh, sitting down in
a spacious armchair and pulling an ashtray towards him.
—Have they been paid for? - asked politely
SAVA.
“Paid, paid,” Winnie the Pooh assured her.
He never paid SAVE anything, and all because
SAVA didn’t know how to count timber marks, but VinnyPooh in this vi-
I wasn’t new. - That’s not why the phone doesn’t work, you fool
some kind of thing that is unpaid there. There's a broken wire.
Some brute had fun with a hatchet...
“SKATINA,” SAVA carefully typed on the keyboard.
nature. - Well, okay, Winnie the Pooh, I'll send Tigger, he's there
will figure it out...
To be continued in the next issue.....
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