Tags - What newspaper can do without a “fun page”?

ZX Light #0C
(c) EraserAREAsoft 2000 What newspaper can do without "fun page"? Here in this issue ZX-Light there is one. Here are the most funny jokes from all newspapers (paper- nykh) that came to my mailbox. ------------------------------------------ A woman with a small child walks into the front door of the bus. Driver looking at child says: - Not a damn thing! First time such a scarecrow I see. The woman, all boiling, goes into the salon, sa- speaks and says: - Well, boorish. Just a bastard. Her neighbor asks her: - What happened? - Yes, the driver was rude. - Ayou go and write down his last name, and I'll hold your monkey for now. ------------------------------------------ The student is asked: - What's the difference between a student, pekto- rum and tram? - There is no relationship between the student and the rector. A I wasn’t under the tram. ------------------------------------------ Picture gallery of the new Russian... The historical part of the collection begins from the canvas "Ivan the Terrible takes a test" shot in the head of his son... ------------------------------------------ Two friends meet. We said hello. Continuing the conversation, one asks the other gogo: - How is your wife? - remembering that she a month since she died, she quickly adds: - Still in the same cemetery? ------------------------------------------ Diary entry: In the morning my hands are shaking with a hangover. I began to unbutton my pajamas - the poo- govitsy. I took the briefcase and the handle fell off. I'm afraid to go to the toilet... ------------------------------------------ The new Russian got lost in the forest. Ply- he wandered, he wandered - he came out into the clearing and shouted: - Well, like, AU or something. ------------------------------------------ Ivan Tsarevich went to a French restaurant tsyzskiy. They brought him a frog. Hit the frog hit the floor and became a red maiden. Ivan beat and beat the girl on the floor - without turning her - she turns back into a frog... I had to that's how it is... ------------------------------------------ According to leading Russian astro- logs, nextwill be the president of Russia either a Goat or a Pig... ------------------------------------------ Somehow a new Russian comes to the antique brewery store, well, buy something, before bros stand out. Suitable for sellers they say so and so, I won’t stand behind the price. Those topic we quickly realized and took it out of the pantry some drum and they say: - Here, take it. This drum itself is Stradi- var did. - Come on! - Exactly, exactly. We are a reputable company and Doesn't fool clients. Well, of course, I bought a new Russian one, I took it home and put it in the most visible place. One day he invited guests. Well in during the buffet says: - But my pride is the drum, which Stradivarius himself made it. The lads are all laughing at the new one Russian: - Well, you screwed up. Stradivarius made violins! The new Russian immediately got ready and shop. Half an hour later he returns and says with a satisfied expression: - Oh, damn it. I don’t know the history at all those StradivariusI made violins for suckers, but for NORMAL GUYS he made DRUMS! ------------------------------------------ A little boy brags in the yard: - And my dad has a new car - a foreign car - And where is she? - Yes, it’s in the garage, drying. Dad all I repainted it overnight and changed the numbers... ------------------------------------------ A guy with thick lenses and glasses on medical examination at the military registration and enlistment office reads the table vision tests. Doesn't see the bottom line. The second one too, the third one and the fourth one too. Vi- Dits only the top line and then only getting close. The conclusion of the medical commission reads: - SUITABLE FOR CLOSE COMBAT. ------------------------------------------ Wife to husband: - I've never had an affair aside, can you say the same? The husband answers: - Yes. I've never had a novel. WereKatya, Natasha, Olya... ------------------------------------------ Abram came to the dentist. - Doctor, how much does it cost to remove a tooth? wisdom? - 80 dollars! - Is it possible to do it cheaper? - Well, if without anesthesia, then it’s possible for 60! - It’s still expensive, but it can’t be cheaper!? - Well, if without anesthesia and just graze- Well, you can do it for 40! - Expensive! Is it possible for 20? - Well, if without anesthesia, with pliers and the trainee student will pull, then you can and over 20! - Okay, doctor, make an appointment for Sarah on Wednesday. duh!!! ------------------------------------------ A hunter is walking through the forest. Suddenly he I meet a huge boar. Well, the man is not ras- got lost and banged at him from both barrels. Everything around is in smoke, you can’t see a damn thing, but a man stands and thinks: - Did I hit or miss? The smoke clears... he sees - standing boar:- Well, man, you got it!!! ------------------------------------------ Two friends are talking. First: - Just think, it’s my birthday here... give me a big cookbook, but I don't I can cook not a single recipe! Second: - What, some kind of intricate dishes?! - No, it’s just that all recipes begin with the words “Take clean dishes...”! - Think about it, I’m here for my birthday give me a big cookbook, but I don’t I can cook not a single recipe! Second: - What, some kind of intricate dishes?! - No, it’s just that all recipes begin with the words “Take clean dishes...”! ------------------------------------------ During the exercises. - Private Beldyev, you still have some water in a flask? - Of course bro! - How do you answer your senior by name? niyu! I repeat the question: - Do you have water?!- No way, Comrade Sergeant! ------------------------------------------

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