Humor - Humor in black pants.

          GOOD MORNING

- Good morning!
- Yes, yes, you are absolutely right - good morning
- Well, darling, make yourself comfortable,
  don't be shy...
- Thank you.
- How did you sleep?
- Thank you, okay...
- Well, okay, well, okay... Something
  are you without a tie today?
- Oh, you know, I was in a hurry. You understand that
  some morning, such a meeting!
- I understand, I understand... Yes, and you’re pale
  some today. Are you sick yet?
- No, no, don’t worry! Tempe
  The ratio is normal. Just a runny nose...
- Well, a runny nose is nothing... My shuri-
  Yesterday I was swollen with gumboil - oh I was suffering! Ooh
  suffered!..
- What a poor fellow! Yes, gumboil is quite bad
 ho...Yesss...
- Well, let's get started?
- Perhaps.
- Leave it here up to the collar or
  a little higher?
- No, I think we can leave it.
- Well, okay, well, okay...
And the executioner Khrumov swung his ax down on
Lyamzikov's neck...

 OLD IN A NEW WAY

Excise tax is no sweeter.
Berezhonoro Bucks Saves.
You can't ruin a bank with currency.
In a quiet city there is a racket.
The killer will fix GorBaty.
Debt is terrible.
If only I knew where to fall, I would have sent an intermediary.
The deposit is small, but expensive.
The inspector's tax is not worth it.
No coins - no trial.
An uncle for every wise man in Kyiv.
Don’t open a loaf shop for someone else.
ByFAX won't be nice to you.
A prosecutor is worth more than money.
I would love to go to heaven, but the loan won’t let me in.
Risk - fertile body.
The mind is good, but BMW is better.
The file is embossed with a file.
The shuttle does not jump, the tray does not become heavy.
They don't look a generous sponsor in the mouth.


DOUBLE

Don't want to go into a hole?
Pay for ADVERTISING.

                     Slow broker -
                     Like JOCKER poker.

      I am a sailor, handsome!
      (Because blue...)

                        The orchestra is playing
                        What does the investor want?

We are blacksmiths, but suddenly our hammer
Tired of forging. And the spirit is so young...

                 Promotion of a pawnshop -
                 Myocardial infarction.

Arise, branded with a curse,
Inspector...satisfied!

                           Started as a dealer
                           Cum as a hitman

The realtor handled the matter skillfully:
And the wolves are fed, and the sheep are safe.

            Will never go bankrupt
            Crazy unemployment.


 IT'S OVER,
          HE STARTING...

A.S. Pushkin "The Tale of the Priest and His Worker"
Balda came to be hired as a worker for the priest
- There are no places. Unemployment, sir, said the priest and
slammed the gate.

A.S. Pushkin "The Tale of the Fisherman andfish"
The Old Man lived with his Old Woman for 30 years and 3
year by the bluest sea. And I just collected
Xia to cast his net, as it began
rare war, the militias came and drove away
them from the hut to the damn grandmother.

"The Frog Princess"
Ivan Tsarevich married Vaselissa the Beautiful
Noah, but he didn’t burn the frog’s skin. By
“Wait a little, son,” Martha instructed him.
queen, - suddenly you don’t get along in character.
Then send her away, but the fur coats are sable
do not give gifts with you, even if you are in leather
is throwing around!"

"Turnip"
My grandfather bought seeds from a company and planted them
turnip, but it didn’t sprout. Although on the bag
it was written: “Comrade, believe it, it will rise”

Conan Doyle "Stories of Sherlock Holmes"
In the morning Sherlock Holmes received news that
but one story about him will never be written -
san:Doctor Watson did not return from Afghanistan
on.

Daniel Defoe "Robinson Crusoe"
After the shipwreck, Robinson Crus stepped
went to the island and read the sign: "Atolp Mu
ruroa. Danger: radiation!"
“Eh, ma,” sighed the unfortunate man, “If only
hold out until Friday.

I. Ilf and E. Petrov "Twelve Chairs"
- Uncle, give me 10kopecks! Give me, I'm telling you
or anyone, 10 kopecks!!! Oh, won't you? Mo-
fuck it guys!!!   (Kinets)

N.V. Gogol "Viy"
- And what people can’t think of about
witches,” the philosopher Khoma chuckled. - However, on
just in case, remove the panchokha!
He counted out 100 gold pieces to the killer, and he himself
Koino moved on.

William Shakespeare "Othello"
- Iago, nasty...They say they saw you
my wife Desdemona's scarf? What's wrong with you
was she? Mind you, I'm very jealous and nasty

Giovagnoli "Spartak"
- What? Perform in these old arenas
from the time of the Egyptian pyramids? For meager
rewards? - Spartak was indignant and,
having collected all the rebel slaves, he left for the
an.


 3UMHEE MORNING
     (sketches based on Pushkin)

Frost and sun - a wonderful day!..
What are we going to eat, dear friend?
It's time, beauty, wake up!
Open the Vatra, look up and down...

What's empty? That's what you were angry about
When there was darkness in the sky!
Just a pale spot...
Do you remember how we used to eat?!.

How, after tasting the wine, they sang songs.
And now? Look out the window:
Under the blue "ensigns"
The trusts blatantly robbed us.

Our hryvnias are already losing weight,
Only the bucks turn lushly green.
Whenthis pension is “cracking”,
And the government salary keeps screaming...

People live by resale
Overseas clothes and grub...
Sliding through the morning snow,
Dear friend, let's indulge in running

To Algeria, Tunisia or Honduras,
Or to where we will be received.
This is the sad story,
After all, our mafia is eternal...

Nat cii optyMISTIChNIY hoti instructions ctopihki humor END!!!