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(C) Ice'Di Griz/Triumph
(C) Blade/Triumph
Preface
...The story you will soon read was written very
long ago, so long ago that in those days Triumph union had not yet
existed. And the story itself was written at the request of Ambient
(Chelyabinsk Amiga group), for the Amiga online magazine,
which, by the way, was never released... And recently I found this
text on the disks and decided... read and don’t twist your faces...;)
Note: It is not recommended to read to persons completely devoid of feelings
humor...
Note2: The story contains profanity...
- Dokhtur!.. Dokhtur!.. the cries of crazy old women were heard,
begging for help, one of them even managed to grab me by the
neck.
“Go away, carrion!” I squealed in disgust and stabbed her
syringe with six cubes of relanium. The grandmother screamed, went limp and
fell to the floor.
I worked in the 3rd department of the city hospital for
elderly Sick and distraught old women were brought here, who
already pretty fed up with theirrelatives. During all my work I
I saw many cases of suicide among my patients.
Miraculously squeezing through the gauntlet of patients, I finally
reached his office. The secretary helpfully presented me with
a cup of coffee, and I sat down in a chair and began to think about a vacation.
Taking a quick glance at the monitor screen, I was horrified to discover that
WINDOWS'95 has been loading since yesterday. After finishing my coffee, I heard
the joyful howl of a melody signaling the end of the download.
But suddenly the office door swung open sharply, and
A bunch of old women burst in.
- Vladimir Volfovich, can I? - asked with hope in her voice
one of them.
- You can... if you're careful... In general, follow the line
comrades, one at a time.
This is where complete chaos began. The patients began to divide who
of these will be the first. The barking escalated into a fight, and after dividing
couples, the old women began to check the hair of their girlfriends for
strength. Despite the fact that many of them were bald,
they managed to tear out pieces of hair from their hands.
- Enough! I screamed that I had the strength. The citizen will go first
Khuikina.
A pale, skinny old woman stood out from the crowd of downtrodden old women, with
knocked out teeth.
- On what issue, citizen? I asked, kindling the thick one
jamb.
- A-ah-ah!.. A-ah-ah!.. - the grandmother screamed and raised her skinny, veiny
hands to the sky fell to the floor.
- Well, that's enough, that's enough!Stand up pleaze.
Granny slowly began to rise from the floor, creaking her old
bones.
- My grief, oh my grief...
“More details please,” I said, releasing a cloud.
poisonous smoke that began to eat the old woman’s eyes.
- Dokhtur... I... well, there... uh... ...insects!
I disgustedly took a drag and moved back in my chair.
leather-covered headstock to the window. Outside the window, the grandmothers were beating the orderly.
- Okay, strip naked.
Khuikina pulled off the robe that served as her
both a dress and underwear. The hoodie fell to blue feet
Khuikina, thereby exposing her entire body. Quickly looking her over
to the legs, and stopping at the crotch between the legs, I tried
look inside, but the attempt was unsuccessful.
- So where is your insect?.. Not in.. I waved in
side of the gap.
- So, he’s darling, here! - the grandmother pointed to the yellowed
breast nipple
Coming closer, I took a closer look and saw a huge red
cockroach, which was apparently sleeping.
Enveloping the cockroach in a cloud of smoke, I muttered through my teeth:
- We'll do it right now. And he pressed the red button on the desk.
Three hairy orderlies immediately ran into my office. I
nodded towards the granny, who was looking at the wonderfully braided
pattern on my ashtray, made from the skull of one of the patients.
One of the orderlies deftlyjumped up to Khuikina and hit her hard
hit the cockroach with his huge palm. A slight crunch was heard. From
the cockroach has a large number of small limbs left, and
two small wings.
- All. Go wash yourself. - the orderly drawled contentedly, and
smiled, revealing three dark yellow fangs.
Khuikina gently stroked her chest and began to slowly
get dressed.
- Hurry up, citizen! You are not alone!
The grandmother, shuffling with calluses, limped to the door, but she didn’t have time
reach the handle made from the words of old women, like from behind
the slippers flew out and hit the grandmother in the yellow back of her head.
“And invite the next patient there,” she rushed after her.
...The door slammed quietly.
Curiously, I moved my eyes away from the window and again
looked at the SVGA monitor screen. There was an inscription on it,
warning me that for the screen saver to work I need to
You need to buy at least 4 more meters of memory. Creepy
enraged by this exploiter, I reached for the RESET button,
but it turned out that it burned out while WINDOWS was loading. This
moment the door opened again, and on the threshold stood another
patient, I immediately remembered where I saw her. A few minutes
ago, it was this old woman who violently beat with her
girlfriends of one of the orderlies.
- Oh, it’s you... Why are you being a bully? - askedI'm with the obvious
dissatisfaction in the voice
- What are you talking about? - she responded with a grunt
- Why was the orderly beaten?
- Ah... Yes, don’t feel sorry for him, he wanted me by the thigh
touch!..
- So he wanted to give you an injection!
- Yes? Well, it serves him right... They stabbed him everywhere so he couldn’t sit down
nowhere...
- Then stop.
The grandmother wheezed something displeased.
- What did you say?
- I? Nothing I...
- Sit here for a couple of minutes, I’ll be there in a minute.
Having said this, I left my office and quickly walked
headed to the end of the corridor, because that’s where the toilet was located
for employees.
A burning nurse ran past, and I couldn’t resist...
put the footrest...
Then, bursting into wild laughter, he followed to his cherished
goals - the toilet. And here... dear... door, covered with claws
old women I took out a bunch of brass keys and pulled out the right one.
...Half an hour later, pleased with himself and pleased with what he received
With pleasure, I opened the door to my office... Grandma was lying on
my blue legs spread out on my table...
- What’s wrong with you, Gnoikina? - I asked in an irritated voice.
There was no answer. Coming closer, I saw that she had rolled
She scratched her eyes at her household.
- Come on, get off my table! - I yelled.
Gnoikina jumped up, corrected herself, and blushing slightly said:
- You have to knock.
- I enter my office without knocking, and in general, let’s get closer to
business,What's bothering you?
- I'm constantly itching...
- Did you have sex in the hospital?
- Well... three times with the janitor Vanya, three with the orderly
Vasily, twice with an ophthalmologist, twice with a rheumatologist... and a couple
times with the nurses.
- This is all?
- Well... there were also group sexes.
- Hmm... a difficult case, without surgical intervention -
you can't get by...
I pressed the red button again, and immediately three
orderly, I pointed them to the stretcher. Having understood everything, they took up
mice the old lady, and laying her on a stretcher, rolled her into
operating room...
- And wash your hands, wash your hands!!! - I shouted after them.
- The bastards got drunk again...
The time has already passed one o'clock in the afternoon...
“It’s time to know the honor,” I whispered and began to get ready.
home.
I lazily cracked my spine and got up from my
favorite chair. He quickly threw on a mink coat, which when
it belonged to one of the old women, whose skin now flaunts on
my chair and ran home.
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