╔════════════════════════ ═══════════════════ ═══════════════════╗ ║ Nine sectors of Hell. ║ ╙─────────────────────────────── ───────────────────────────────╜ (C) A. and K. Podstreshny In the morning, the modems worked poorly, the archangels created with their wings there was interference with the receivers, and the land line was disconnected yesterday non-payment, so only half of the intended number was received sinners from Purgatory... An ordinary worker began in hell day. The Chief Administrator sat at his Pentium II, clutching his I rub my head with my hands. He tried all night to reinstall Windows NT without formatting the disk. Occasionally pressing the "Turbo" button, he thoughtfully watched as the numbers on the computer case turned from 113 MHz to 666 and back. - Lord! - he exclaimed, stretching out his scaly hands to sky.- Why did you throw me here?! He was unable to finish his appeal to the almighty provider. moose At this moment, the sinners stopped turning on the satellite TV. tehhy - and she fell into the lava with a loud gurgle. - New arrivals! “I’ll go get tested,” said the Dark Lord, rising majestically from his chair. Obediently crawled after him from - choppedsince the "Heretic" tail. People unpacked from the archive stood and looked stupidly on the sides, they openly hoped that it was something else a place where lava gurgles and devils run. From the general crowd of sinners, a surprised young man stood out somewhat a man with glasses. - Sorry,” he politely addressed Beelzebuel, “but I’m being sent away.” were sent to Paradise, Saint Paul gave me his E-mail. - What did you send it with? “By Novell NetWare,” answered User, rubbing his red sulfur eyes. - Ah, well then it’s clear how you ended up here, you asked me for them in Netscape send, but no. Okay, let's go, I'll take you upstairs... The devils began to shove the rest of the newcomers into catalogs. The path ahead was not short; it was necessary to go through nine sects. the pit of Hell. - What is your name? - Satan asked his companion. - Vasya... I actually don’t really understand what happened since then since I last sat down at my computer. - You died, that's what happened. Received a lethal dose of radiation tions from Taiwanese monitor. By the way, look around - first sector of Hell. -Who's here? - Here the most harmless ones, we sometimes even think about not giving Should they get amnesty? At this time, two devils dragged a long-legged cekpe past them tarshy and cyelling "Any key!" sat her down at the 101-button keyboard tour, where she had to look for the mysterious key. A staircase led from a pile of boxes from under computer games. - Who is this? - asked Vasya, pointing to the group sitting behind people's computers. - Doomers and quaikers play "Quake 2" in 320x2048 resolution. And don’t try to talk to them - in human language these kids They haven’t understood anything for a long time, except perhaps “Piece of cake”. By the way, there is a teleport to the third sector. In the third sector there was a library. In the twilight hundreds of people are walked from shelf to shelf, pushing books. - Who is this, and why are they rearranging the books? - Yes, they are all writers, but on the shelves there are all useless computers - Computer literature, that is, all computer literature in general. Half of them are engaged in arranging it in alphabetical order order, and the other - from “I” to “A”. So let them run now. In the fourth, everything was filled with large copper cauldrons. In them occasionally unshaven, hairy guys with bottles of beer fell from the sky in hands. - Why are the boilers half empty? - Well, this is for the fidoshniks, but until the mail reaches them... At this time, an insolent, unshaven figure leaned out of a nearby cauldron. Zionomia and shouted something like “Satan must die!”but relatives the fidoshnik brothers dragged him to the bottom out of solidarity. In the fifth sector there was an unpleasant smell of burnt meat without coy- sa. Guys in black suits and ties were sitting on the frying pans, two devils turned on the switch and the household appliance began to harpe- vat. Having looked closely, Vasya saw that the frying pan was composed of thousands of black squares. - Processors? “They are the ones, and these,” the Dark Lord’s clawed finger pointed at side of people jumping on one leg - they were sawed off. Process- The litters are warming up, and now they are jumping. One plump guy involuntarily attracted attention, jumped higher than Sergei Bubka with a pole. - What did he do? - This one... Yes, nothing special: it overclocked 86 processors to 133 MHz and shouted after that that he had computers combined with air conditioning. A huge cooler carried them to the sixth floor. There in one barrel c six Apple presidents sat like rotten apples, each tried to kick a neighbor, or even spit a piece of sour in his eye apple Then they walked around through the endless gray wasteland. Around stretched across them was a huge whitish web, along which crawled arthropods, periodically biting people entangled in it - we must think, networkers. The Devil was struck by lightning three times. - Damn seventhsector. As soon as I get close to him, I I'm starting to have bad luck. But here is my favorite eighth sector,” he said. Satan forked. Several people were sitting in the eighth sector, probably sellers licensed software. Each of them held in his hands two pieces of CD and magnifying glass. - What are they doing? - Look for 10 differences between the pirated compact and the licensed one. Hey, let's move on. Welcome to the ninth sector of Hell, here we wait - we will not wait for Him. Vasya found himself in the office. Easy chair, walnut table roar, on it there is a big tower computer, a 24-inch monitor with Windows95, next to the keyboard is the book "The Road to the Future". - Is this really a place for Himself? - The day will come and... - Satan’s eyes turned dreamy haze. - Wait, but he did a lot of good things. - What, for example? - Hy developed the computer industry and all that stuff. - So we won’t take him forever. - When will you let go? - This will fix all the glitches in Windows, “The Road to the Future” is the most If he learns, then we’ll let you go to Paradise. - How long will this take? “We plan to hold out until doomsday,” he said seriously. Devil. - So, in fact, we came. Xapoh was sitting on the floor with a laptop on his lap, and Cerberus was sad modem along the banks of the Dead River. Seeing Satan, Xapoh blushed,stopped playing and hid the disc with "Afterlife" behind his back. Devil pretended not to notice anything. He also loved this game. Bye Xapoh took the modem from the three-headed dog, Vasya asked the last one question: - Listen, Satan, where are the normal people? I mean, not a computer Youtubers? - What are you talking about! We send the saints straight to Paradise...
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