Humor - Jokes.

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║ Anecdotes.           ║
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No, of course I understand, anything can happen in life. There are a lot of people who are confused
slow-witted, but to such an extent... In short, on the shop window -
Zina sign: "Entry through the door."

 * * *

The wife yells:
 - Give up your selfish habits - my wife, my apartment,
my money! My! My! That's mine! This is mine! There is only ours! By the way,
what are you looking for in our closet?
 - Our razor!

 * * *

Gorbachev sits with a fishing rod in Foros and catches fish. Got a bite, hooked
and caught a goldfish.
 - Let me go, Misha. I will fulfill any wish...
 - I don’t want to be president, I want to be king...
 -Have it your way. In the morning you will be king. At night Michal Sergeevich with
Chekists wake up his wife and children in Ipatiev’s house:
 - Citizens of the Romanovs, stand up.  Laura in the basement, photographing
vat.

 * * *

 - Citizen, - the policeman (M) addresses the drunk lying on the street -
nomu(P), - where do you live?
 (P) In Leningrad.
 (M) Come on, I'll take youhome.
 (P) Where am I?
 (M) At the Hapbckux gate.
 (P) And I’m thinking, why is it blowing so hard? Be a man -
     close the gate.

 * * *

 - For what purpose did your cooperative acquire tanks?
 - Exclusively peaceful - for self-defense from racketeering!

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(B)the doctor makes a round, collects thermometers from patients, prescribes them
treatment, approaches the bed of one patient and asks (C)ectpy:
(B) Patient's last name?
(C) Windows, just arrived.
(B) Middle name?
(C) Ninety-five.
(B) Disease?
(C) Chronic freezing and mental weakness. How will we treat it?
(B) Morgue. |-]]]

 * * *

Two (r) Russian and (a) American generals met.
(p) - Our soldier receives 2 thousand calories daily.
(a) - And we have 4
(p) - You’re lying, a soldier can’t eat 4 bags of rutabaga!!!

 * * *

Stalin and Roosevelt are arguing over who has more loyal bodyguards. Ruz-
velt leads his to the cliff
 -John, jump!
 -What, I won’t, I have a wife and children.
Stalin brings his to the cliff
 -Vasya, jump.
Vasya, without hesitation, fishes off the cliff. The orderlies carry him only a few minutes
broken, approaches himRoosevelt
 -You idiot, why did you jump???
 -Well, I have a wife, children...