Jokes - anecdotes, funny incidents from life, funny and incredible stories.

 FUN !!!!            
Opening this section and hoping 
that I will become its permanent leader,
I will introduce myself: Alek Slobodyan- 
sandr. As you already understood in this 
section will be: JOKES, FUNNY
CASES AND 3 LIFE, FUNNY 
AND INCREDIBLE STORIES, SCARED-
KI, HAPPYEND... Well, in general
everything that will make you SMILE, a 
maybe explosions of HYSTERICAL    
LAUGHTER... Everything that can be done
call in one word - FUN!!! 
And immediately taking the bull by the horns:
to joke, to joke -
I'm announcing a joke contest!!! 
If you want to become winners and
to receive prizes, then send  
letters with jokes to us in re - 
daktion (Look for the address in others   
categories - perhaps he is somewhere 
printed )or personally to me 
at: 634062 Tomsk  
IRKUTSKY TRAKT 128/a KV.6    
Slobodyan Alexandru.   Not for-  
be sure to do it on the envelope  
tag: FOR THE "FUN" COMPETITION. 
What will the prizes be? - ask  
you .                           
- Different, but good and related 
 with SPECCY .                    
Who will evaluate?       
- We (the editors), and also you  
 (our readers).       
Write or you can call
Lefon: 75-76-49 (number in tOMC-
KE) . For non-residents we will advise 
TOMSK code: 382-2.            
According to your estimates, it will be determined -  
top five and in each
round, i.e. 10,20,30... ,    
number of the best ten jokes.
Let me make a reservation right away: activity too
will be encouraged. Most active 
the corresponding reader will receive   
special prize!     
Once again I will remind you of my address and te-
Lefon: 634062 Tomsk   
IRKUTSKY TRAKT 128/a KV.6    
tel. ( 382-2 ) 75-76-49     
It is better to call from 9.00 to 14.00   
********************************
After such a long period of inter-  
It's time to capture, I think, move on to 
that's why this section was created -was given.             
 JOKES!!!!!  
              *  
- Well, neighbor, your husband is hurting you
She doesn't hit? After all, the last time 
the court fined him 50 for this 
dollars.                       
- No, I haven't touched a finger since then - 
gaps. But now he has
strange habit. Every evening
Arriving home, he looked intently
he swipes at me and then puts me in my
file $50.             
 *                 
The man, timid, asks  
ladies:                        
- Let me be curious, 
what are you doing in the evening?    
- All ...                       
 *                 
A neighbor comes running to Ivan:       
- are you quietly slurping borscht here?
And your wife with her lover in glue- 
faith started love!           
Ivan runs out, but soon returns
talks and laughs.              
- what are you doing?                     
- so they're crushing your clover! 
 *                 
The wife returns from the store with 
new rolling pin for noodles. Husband on-
rushes at her with reproaches:  
- I'm crazy, there's not a single drop at home
alcohol, and she buys furniture
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
              *                 
Mother told Vovochka to do well  
wash face . A minute later he   
asks:                    
- Mom, what do you think, are the ears related?
do they fit towards the face or towards the back of the head? 
 *        
Young naturalists are talking:
- Why don't fish talk?
- And you stick your head in the water and - 
try to say something!     
 *                 
At a doctor's appointment:             
- Young man, why do you
lead panties?        
- I'm careful from radiation...      
- Why are there no toes on your feet?
- Yes, one day the rubber band burst.
              *      
- Garson!  I think I've had enough
extra . Bring something  
sobering.                  
- Please, invoice.           
 *                 
- In which troops do you want to serve?
to live? - they ask the recruit on
recruiting station.              
- At the General Headquarters.         
- Are you an idiot?     
- Is this necessary?           
 *              
Two ants are watching in the bushes   
elephant . At the end I heard something - 
sweat . One ant to another :    
- Remember, the main thing for us is his responsibility - 
pour and then trample!    
 *                 
Uncle was wallowing in the pond in winter. 
I rushed to the rescue, shouting:   
" I'm coming! "            
He refused help,        
Since the “walrus” turned out to be..
 *                 
Four sadists caught a boy
Legs tied in a knot under the armpit,
3a raised their hands to the ceiling..
- Why aren’t you crying?!        
- And I, uncle, am a yogi!            
 *                 
An earthworm lived in the garden. 
He crawled out into the light one spring
The shovel stuck into the poor guy's sides.
Now two worms live happily.
              *                 
Vladimir Ilyich (my neighbor in   
chamber ) .                      
I decided to blow myself up on a rusty onegrenade.                        
I pulled the pin - and it only:    
" POW!!! "                     
still remained alive than all the living. 
 *              
The boy sobbed bitterly in horror.  
Uncle (covered in blood) above him   
overhung.                        
My shirt was wet from sweat.
Oh, the dentist's job is not easy.
              *                 
Vovochka got drunk on vodka for some reason. 
Afterwards, for some reason, he fell from the balcony -
xia                              
Fifth floor! He flew like a stone
I hit my forehead and...    
         sobered up at the moment!!!
              *                 
Cases from life, witness   
which I was:                 
A man with a set got into the trolleybus 
coy eggs. Standing near one of 
graying, holding the grid with his hand  
grabs the handrail and goes.     
The grid is swinging, the woman is sitting
graying, says to the man:   
- Man, let me have your balls 
I'll hold it.       
he is silent.    
- Man, let me have your balls 
I'll hold it.                       
The man answers:                
- I'm afraid of tickles!!!           
 *In the store "TOMSKY" on the street 
Suvorov, the following incident occurred- 
tea :                           
The major was buying a cell of eggs. They  
turned out to be quite strongly behind    
dirty. The major speaks about - 
to the waitress:                       
- Please wipe the eggs.    
she went into the back room for some reason and  
shouts to another saleswoman:      
- Tanya, wash the major's balls!    
To which she answers:            
- What am I obliged to do? you gave, you 
and mine!!!!                      
 **********            
That seems to be all. I hope I'm dumb-
raised a legyour mood.   
I'm waiting for your letters and calls. Bye
everyone !!!!                       
07/30/1996     
 Slobodyan Alexander 
 ( S.A.W. )      
 FROM         
BATTLETECH inc.   
********************************