My friend from the USA told an indescribable story
case! The deer hunting season has opened.
Naturally, the people are on the hunt. At the deer
local ones - a white short tail. Man
(hunter) sat down in the bushes to take a shit, came
turn to paper. She is (amazing
American quality) : - WHITE!
He leaned it “where it should be”, and the other
a hunter dreamed from a distance - TAIL
DEER! Well, he fired... Of course, shooting at
unclearly visible target - violation and how
investigation - investigation and judgment is good
The asshole is still alive.
But the summary is that even if not in bookstores
and a new one has appeared in hunting stores
product - CAMOUFLAGE toilet paper
COLORS...
* * *
An intellectual and
hooligan. We met just opposite
puddles.
Bully:
- What are you doing, huh? - and into the intellectual’s puddle
- Look at me!
An intellectual, thoughtfully groping in a puddle
glasses:
- And really - why am I...
* * *
Two Ukrainians. One pours another
moonshine in a scoop..
- Where are you pouring style???
- Well, this is for you...!
- Oh... well, then give me some more...
* * *
Moscow. Crowded trolleybus. U
composter, pressing your back against it,
the girl is standing. The guy hands her a ticket:
- Please try.
- Yes, you know, my backside is uncomfortable.
- I would actually rather be a composter...
* * *
How to clean your room
Pull all things outmiddle of the room
and try to look at
everything with a fresh look: is anything needed?
throw away, clean,
put it in another place. Then give
lie down in this pile
several days, each time approaching
her with a fresh look,
wondering why there is so much here
garbage. Then, when there is a lot
it's enough of an eyesore and it's just
you'll stop noticing
it's time to shove things away
I'll have to forget about them until
next time when it doesn't come again
the hunt to visit at the end
Finally there is order in this mess.
* * *
- Waiter, is the plate wet?!
- This is your soup, sir!
* * *
Teacher in class:
- What are the most useful birds for
person?
Sergey:
- Fried, Maria Ivanovna.
* * *
At a social ball, while dancing, a lady
dressed heavily
low-cut dress, asks
your dance partner:
- Sir, how do you find my dress?
- Sorry, lady, but I don't like him at all.
I find it.
* * *
Schwarzenegger is riding on a bus. Suitable
controller:
- Your ticket!
- I'm Schwarzenegger!
- So what? Your ticket!
Schwarzenegger takes out an iron ruble,
puts it in the composter and
composts. The conductor is tearing up
ruble:
- It would have been like this a long time ago!
* * *
The bus is packed with passengers. One
man standing on
step and says:
- Comrades, make room. Otherwise according to
I'll go to my head!
Bald mananswers him, stroking him
bald spot with a wet palm:
- May you slip!
* * *
My husband came home from work. His wife
met him in the hallway and tied it for him
in the eyes.
“I have a surprise for you,” he says!
She took him into the room and felt
the pies are burning!
“Wait,” she said and ran away.
kitchen. And my husband’s stomach is swollen,
and he farted loudly. He took off his hat and
waves it around so it doesn't smell.
The wife came, untied her eyes - and
the table is full of feast. Guests
They became quiet, and the wife said:
- Here's my surprise!
* * *
The bus is at a stop. Chauffeur
He took out the bottle and asked:
- Will there be anyone?
Everyone is silent. I drank and smoked. Enough
one more.
- Will there be anyone?
They are silent. Drank. Wears a motorcycle
helmet:
- Well, suicide bombers, let's go.
* * *
The HR department is interested in
hiring a job:
- How about a drink? Amateur?
- You offend... Professional!
* * *
· Stop! · I'm standing. · Money jewelry
is there? · No.
So why are you wandering around at night?
* * *
A spider crawls along the windowsill and sees:
The fly lies upside down.
- Is this aerobics? - asks the spider.
- No, this is dichlorvos.
* * *
The sardine saw the submarine and was afraid
swam up to mom.
“Don’t be afraid, baby,” said mom, “
it's just a bank of people.
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