We had it in H-sk
fair-exhibition-presentation PIII from
intel, On stage the presenter asked questions,
one of them sounded “What is your email
President of Ukraine?", followed
a bunch of wrong popular answers, and
the presenter noted - no, the correct answer
"President dog..." then he
I couldn’t continue. (The audience died
laughing :)
* * *
It was the first of April. In one of
Zaporozhye departments of the regional hospital
"ambulance" staged a skit. There
more than half are young trainees,
I want to have fun. And it was in this
skit, something about the Nazis. One
the orderly was dressed in a fascist overcoat and found
Somewhere there are all sorts of details, everything seems to be
Yes. And then suddenly in the middle of the cabbage garden -
challenge, some guy felt bad.
The duty team breaks down instantly, in
including the guy in the overcoat. They're coming
at the address, the patient is unconscious. They're in
car, pump out. The patient comes to
himself, doesn't remember anything, doesn't remember anything
understands, opens his eyes and sees:
small room, everything around is white,
some light bulbs, wiring and a person in
German form. And then this orderly says
with a deliberately German accent:
- How did you get into our pottery tray?
For a man this is better than ammonia
it worked!
P.S. Truthfulness is notI guarantee - myself from
heard tenths of lips.
I vouch for the truthfulness. Somehow while drunk
father-in-law, the director of the plant, told absolutely
the most terrible story. A worker comes to
chief engineer and asks to be released
home. He naturally asks about
reason. The worker hesitates, squeezes and says,
which is very necessary. The engineer is not an evil man,
therefore he answers: “I will let you go, but
I need a reason for absence
indicate in the documents." He: "I finger myself
chopped it off with air scissors." The engineer is a bit
did not die on the spot - an accident at
production. In short, the ambulance, you know?
heavens, etc. When the man was discharged,
The labor protection commission came to the plant.
The equipment is working properly - you need
press two buttons simultaneously to
the scissors worked, so hands free
doesn't stay. They ask to show how he
managed to hurt himself. He calmly
props up one button with a stick (it’s quite
usual), lays a sheet of metal and
CUT OFF HIS SECOND FINGER.
He later swore that it was an accident, but the commission
Having regained consciousness, the case was closed.
* * *
- I just don’t know what to do with mine
dog. She
constantly hunting for motorcycles.
- Well, it's not scary. All dogs are like that
do.
- Yes, mine buries them in the garden!
* * *
- Well, well, the pulse is normal, -
says the doctor.
- Doctor, take my left hand,
right - prosthesis.
* * *
Brick walks on a wet roof andsentences:
- It’s okay that it’s cold, it’s okay that
slimy, as long as it's human
got a good one.
* * *
THE BEGINNING OF A VERY GOOD SUMMER
DAY (SYMPHONY)
The rooster just crowed, Timofey
jumped out of the window onto the street and scared
everyone who was passing along the street at that time.
The peasant Khariton stopped, raised
stone and threw it at Timothy. Timofey
disappeared somewhere.
- What a trickster! - the human screamed
herd, and a certain Zubov fled from all over
Mahu moved his head against the wall.
- Eh! - the woman with gumboil screamed. But
Komarov made this woman tapel-tapel, and
The woman ran away screaming into the gateway.
Fetelyushin walked by and chuckled. To him
Komarov came up and said:
“Hey, you lard,” and hit Fetelyushin on the
stomach. Fetelyushin leaned against the wall and
started hiccupping.
Romashkin was spitting from above from the window,
trying to get into Fetelyushin. Right there
Not far away, a big-nosed woman was beating her
child. And the plump young mother rubbed
pretty girl face on brick
wall.
A small dog, breaking a thin one
leg, lying on the panel.
Little boy eating from a spittoon
some kind of nasty thing.
There was a line outside the grocery store
sugar. The women swore loudly and pushed
each other's wallets.
Peasant Khariton, drunk
methylated spirits, stood in front of the women with
with his pants unbuttoned and said
bad words.
Thus began a good summer
day.
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