╔════════════════──────── ─────────────────── ───════════════════╗ │ PRINTED WITH CONTINUATION. │ ╚════════════════─────────────── ───────────────════════════════╝ (R) Fedin Pavel HUNDRED STORIES ABOUT THE CHUKCHA 51. A geologist got lost in the taiga and shouted: “People! Where are you!? Help- those!" The Chukchi comes out from behind a tree and says: “Oh, as here - so “people!”, and as in Moscow - so “frying pans with ears”!” 52. The Chukchi sits in the tent, reads the newspaper "Pravda" with materials congress. A man runs in. "Chukchi! There your deer jumped into the abyss - zero!" The Chukchi does not look up from the newspaper. The second person runs in. "Chukchi! Two of your deer jumped into the abyss there!" Chukchi reads newspaper. A third person runs in. "Chukchi! There's all your herd in the abyss has jumped!" The Chukchi raises his head from the newspaper. "However, - Ten-den-tion! 53. Two Chukchi are sitting in the tent. One is reading a newspaper; through some sometimes he says with a smart look: “Something is bothering me, Gon- duras," “I told you,” the second Chukchi answers, “don’t bother him.” 54. One day the Chukchi had a sixth child. So the Chukchi filled understands the metric: the nationality of the father is Chukchi, the nationality of the mother is ri - Chukchi, the child's nationality is Chinese. He is asked: "What about the Chinese, if you, parents- Chukchi?" - "However, Chukchi ha- I read Zeta, and it says that now every sixth person on Earth is Chinese." 55. One day the Chukchi wanted to become related to the Jews. Matchmakers come hide. “However, you have a daughter - we have a son, we want to become related by you. However, your yurt is old - you need a new one - they put it on the table 50,000, - However, you don’t have deer - you need a lot, - they put in more 50,000, “However, your daughter is poorly dressed - she needs to be richly dressed,” - more 50,000. The old Jew says to his wife: “Sarah, don’t you think Do you think that our new relatives are more like the Japanese? 56. A Chukchi delegation came to the selection committee of the Supreme Council veta of the USSR and complains: “We don’t want to be called Chukchi: all about We hear jokes and witticisms." - "Okay, let's take it into account." Next day a resolution was published in the newspapers: “From now on, instead of “Chukchi” there will be It sounds like "The Jew is a reindeer herder." 57. The Chukchi appealed to the CPSU Central Committee to stop calling them Chuk- chami: it's a shame. And the Central Committee of the CPSU issued a resolution to call the Chukchi simply "the peoples of the Far North". May Day demonstration. The commentator reports: “A delegation of peoples of the Far North is coming. They carry banners: “PEACE!”, “WORK!”, “MAY”, “JUNE”, “JULY”, "AUGUST!",... No! After all, this is the Chukchi!" 58. Representatives of different nations argue about who he was according to nationality. nalities V.I. Lenin. Russian: "He was Russian." - "Why?" - "He was born, made a revolution, died andburied in Russia." Englishman: "He was an Englishman." - "Why?" - "He was preparing Russian revolution in English libraries." Swiss: "He was Swiss." - "Why?" - "He was hiding from the Russian all the time king in Geneva." Chukchi: "He was a Chukchi." - "Why?" - "Very smart - I was." 59. The Chukchi comes to the doctor and says: “What is this about me, that everyone calls me Chukchi?" The doctor opened his skull and dit: two parallel convolutions. He took it and put them to the cross crosswise The next morning Chukchi gets up and goes to the mirror. "Oh, what a I’m a great lad!” 60. Two Chukchi are walking through the forest. One is carrying a telephone booth, and the other is swarm - log. "Why do you need a phone booth?" - "However, if the wolf will attack, I will hide in it. Why do you need a log?" - "However, if the wolf attacks, I will abandon him and it will be easier for me to run." 61. One day one Chukchi goes and sees: another Chukchi dug a hole in belt and sits in it. "Why did you climb into this hole?" - "However, sfo- You have to be photographed up to your waist." After a while there is a per- The first Chukchi returns and sees: the second Chukchi is digging another hole. “Why are you digging another hole?” - "However, in duplicate necessary." 62. One day two Chukchi got lost in the taiga. One says: "When the Russians get lost, they shoot in the air. So shoot." The second Chukchi began to shoot. He shot and shot and stopped. "What are you stopped shooting?" - "And I have arrowsran out." 63. One day a dumb Chukchi got lost in the taiga. Standing in a clearing waves his hands: shows with signs: “I’m lost!” Goes out to non- Another Chukchi, also mute, enters the clearing and shows with signs: “You Why did you shout to the whole forest? 64. Once the Chukchi were taught to jump with a parachute. Explained everything how it was necessary and thrown out of the plane. The Chukchi flies and still can’t remember what to pull. Suddenly he sees someone flying towards him another Chukchi. He shouts to him: “Brother! How to handle a parachute say goodbye?" And he: “However, I’m not a paratrooper, I’m a sapper!” 65. Army. "Private Ivanov!" - “I!” - "Private Petrov!" - “I!” - "Private Chukchi!" - “Mine!” - "What is 'Mine'?" - “That’s right!” - "What “Is that right?” - “Hurray!!!” 66. One day the Chukchi is on duty. Someone is walking by. Chukchi: "Pa- role!" - "Go to...!" Chukchi: "However, how many years have I been standing, and pa- The role doesn't change." 67. Once the Chukchi were sent on reconnaissance and told him: “If pat- the steering wheel will hear you, scream some animal, for example a cat "The Chukchi crawled. He scouted everything out, crawled back, here his guard I heard a howl. "Stop! Who's coming?" - "However, we cats are going home let's crawl!" 68. Why don’t the Chukchi eat Bulgarian tomatoes? No head in the jar crawls through. 69. Why don’t the Chukchi eat chocolates? Foil gives me heartburn. 70. How does the Chukchi eat sausages? That's it. 71. How does the Chukchi check the matches in the box? He takes out a match and chir- shakes it. If the matchbad - it doesn’t light up the first time, - he throws it away, if it’s good, it lights up the first time, - he extinguishes it and puts it back in the box. 72. One day Chukchi was riding on the subway and holding on to the handrail. "However, "Marx Avenue" in this direction? - "No." - “Thank you,” - say- Chukchi hall, turning around and taking hold of another handrail. 73. One day the Chukchi stood on Pushkin Square and looked at the pa- Monument to Pushkin. "However, who is it?" - "Pushkin." - "This is who Did you write "Mu-Mu"? - “No, “Mu-Mu” was written by Turgenev.” - "However, strange: "Mu-Mu" was written by Turgenev, and the monument to Pushkin." 74. We decided to check who can fast for how long. They put me in different rooms of Russian, African and Chukchi. They put it in each room over the phone and said: “If you want to eat, call.” Via Three days later Russian called. A week later the African called. And from There is still no Chukchi and no call. A week, then another... We decided to check it out. They open the door, see: Chukchi sitting in front of the phone and says: “Phone, phone, the Chukchi wants to eat!” 75. Congress of crocodile hunters in the Congo. English speaking nin: "I killed a hundred crocodiles." The Frenchman speaks: “I killed two hundred crocodiles." The Chukchi speaks: “I killed fifty Nosers.” All We were surprised and decided to spy on who the Chukchi were hunting. They see: Chukchi sneaks up to a bush with a rifle, jumps out of the bush scared black man Chukchi: "Crocodile?" - "No, Sir!" TO BE CONTINUED
Share your thoughts about the article