╔════════════════──────── ─────────────────── ───════════════════╗ │ PRINTED WITH CONTINUATION. │ ╚════════════════─────────────── ───────────────════════════════╝ (R) Fedin Pavel HUNDRED STORIES ABOUT THE CHUKCHA 26. One day a Chukchi came to the store: “However, you have color television are there visors? - “Yes,” - “Then give me green, please.” 27. The Chukchi arrives at the camp wearing corduroy jeans. His right sew: “Why do you need corduroy jeans?” - “However, so that every- "The louse was running along its path." 28. The Chukchi is drowning and shouts: “However, I drink water! However, I drink a lot! However, I’ll stay here for the night!” 29. Two Chukchi approach the head of the train. First: "This train will it take me to Leningrad?" - "No." Second: “And me?” 30. One day the station master sees: a Chukchi is approaching the carriage train and hits his head on it, goes to the next one - and ho- howl, approaches the third - and head, etc. The boss ask- howls: “Chukchi, are you crazy?” - “However, no, the Chukchi are soft va- Gon is looking." 31. One day Chukchi was traveling on a train. He arrives - covered in bruises and abrasions. "Chukchi, what's wrong with you?" - “However, I was riding on the top shelf, I kept falling down." - “So why didn’t you change with the one who did you ride on the bottom shelf? - "However,I couldn’t change - there’s no one there it didn't happen." 32. One day Chukchi approaches the ticket office of long-distance trains - nia. “Tell me, does train 975 go to Berkakit?” - "No." - "A train 1007 goes to Berkakit?" - "No." - "And train 911 goes to Berkakit?" - "No." - "Where?" - "On...!!!" - "And this is through Ber- what?" 33. One day Chukchi was riding in the same compartment with the Maiden. Chukchi pressed in the teeth bang a metal record and sits playing on it: “Dzing- Nnn!..Dzzinnn!..Dzzinnn!..” Girl: “Stop it!” The Chukchi rejected lived his musical instrument and began to look out the window. Via for some time the girl went out, changed clothes, returned and sat down very tempting. The Chukchi began to look at her. Girl: "Ho- do you want?" - "I want to." - "Come on, just quickly!" The Chukchi grabbed a record with your teeth: “Ding - ding - ding - ding - ding!” 34. A Chukchi asks at the Aeroflot ticket office: “Plane to Chukotka how long does it take to fly?" - "Just a minute..." - "Thank you." 35. Chukchi calls the Politburo of the CPSU Central Committee. "Hello, I want to become a member- Mr. Politburo. What is needed for this?" They answer him: "What are you... idiot?" - "Is this necessary?" 36. One day a Chukchi returned from Moscow and said: “However, I saw Moscow. slogan "Everything in the name of man, everything for the good of man" ka" I saw, and I saw this man." 37. A Chukchi runs down the street and shouts: “Freedom for Gorbachev! Freedom Gorbachev!" They stop him. "Chukchi, are you crazy?" - "One- co,I just heard on the radio: “In custody, Mikhail Sergeevich Gorbachev said...!" 38. Chukchi tells his wife: “Perestroika is like ours in the taiga during a hurricane: there is noise above, darkness below and pine cones are falling." 39. At the request of his fellow tribesmen, the Chukchi went to Moscow to know when there will be communism. The Chukchi comes to receive Gorbachev- Wu and asks: “When will there be communism?” - “Look: you see, there is my "Volga", "Volga" by Lukyanov, "Volga" by Ligachev. That's when- Let your "Volga" stand nearby, then, consider it, there will be a com- Moonism." The Chukchi returned to the camp. "Did you find out?" - "I found out. Here you are - Look, there are my high boots, your high boots and more high boots. That's when there's a Gorbachev's high boots will continue to stand, then, consider it, there will be communism. 40. Two Chukchi look at the sky. "However, the plane is flying! Rules government!" - "However, it is unlikely: when the government, then District motorcycles: "tr-r-r-r!" 41. One day a Chukchi is walking along Red Square. I stopped and looked hits the clock on the Spasskaya Tower. A man approaches. "Do you like it?" - “I like it,” - “Do you want it?” - “I want,” - “Give me a thousand rubles and wait I'm here, I'm running for the stairs." He took the money and ran away. Through Within a few hours the Chukchi realized that he had been deceived. Came home told everything. His brother arrived in Moscow. Stands on Red Square For mercy, he looks at his watch. A man approaches. "Do you like it?" - "I like it" - “Do you want it?” - “I want,” - “Give me a thousand rubles and wait for mehere I am I'm running behind the stairs." - "Oh, no! Chukchi is not a fool! Wait for me, I I'll run away myself!" 42. The Chukchi won the Volga with a lottery ticket. Comes and says: "Give me a red Volga." And to him: “Do you want black? ze- lazy? blue? yellow? But we don’t have red ones.” - “Oh, so,” says Rit Chukcha, “then give me back my fifty kopecks.” 43. One day the Chukchi bought a Volga and went to his boast camp I was running, but I forgot how to slow down. Spun, spun, and time hit the stone with all his might. The car is in smithereens, I’m in the hospital hit. After some time he returned home from the hospital and said: Rit: “The doctors said it’s good that there are no brains, otherwise it would have been a concussion.” hay." 44. Once a Chukchi bought a Zhiguli. I came to my station on them bische. People poured out and admired it. One Chukchi wiped the headlights. "However, what big eyes!" Another patted the roof. "However, what tough skin!" The third tugged at the exhaust pipe. "However, - male!" 45. The Chukchi went on a trip by car. The whole camp is about him driver. After some time, a telegram arrives: “North arrived.” okay, so-and-so will come back." The entire camp poured out to meet him. They are waiting for Chukchi - he is not there. They wait a day, wait two. A month later he arrived reaps. They ask him why there is such a delay? "However, there are three speed, but back - one, and the head gets tired backwards for Dear follow." 46. One day, a Chukchi and his son are hunting in the taiga.They see a squirrel. Pfft! “However, it’s a skin.” They see a moose. Pfft! "However, it's meat." They see - geologists. Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! "However, - matches." 47. Chukchi sits with his wife and daughter in the tent. Flies over the plague helicopter. The Chukchi says: “Again a big car is flying, again a big one.” well-born people will come, they will drink fire water, they will beat me, /your wife/ will beat you, /daughter/ you..... they will: expedition!” 48. A geologist was freezing in the taiga. The Chukchi found him, brought him to his mine, fed him, gave him something to drink, and put him to bed with his wife. Geologist in Out of gratitude, he invited him to visit him in Moscow. And so after some time he receives a telegram from the Chukchi: “I’m on my way, I’ll meet you.” tea." The geologist thinks: “Well, I’ll feed him and give him water, but don’t put him with my wife!" I ran to three stations, found a “girl” there and he stole her for a tenner to sleep with the Chukchi. And the Chukche said: “You want- Dear friend, so why should I put you and my everyday wife to bed? I'll put you to bed with my ceremonial wife." The Chukchi returned from Moscow, says: “Moscow is a good city! Good friend Geologist! And - his front door is so nice! - it’s still dripping... 49. One Geologist got lost, starved for several days, became overgrown and frozen He crawls and sees: the Chukchi is sitting, and next to him is a mountain of fish. "Chuk- cha, give me fish - I’m dying!..” - “However, I can’t,” the boss I need to ask," - "Who is your boss?" - "I'm on my own - boss!" - “Boss, give me some fish!” -"However, take as much as you want- scratch!" 50. One day a pregnant Chukchi woman comes to the doctor. "Doctor, belly swollen," - "Yes, you're pregnant!" - “However, it cannot be - husband in the taiga," - "And you probably slept with other men," - "With men - no, I slept with a geologist, because he was using protection," - "And how?" - “However, he threw a rag on my face.”
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