╔═══════════════───────── ─────────────────── ──═════════════════╗ │ UFO-2 │ ╚═══════════════───────── ─────────────────── ──═════════════════╝ (C) Skugarov Anatoly UFO-2 As it is. (in verse) When I arrived at the base, which is located in Kronstadt, I saw replenishment that has occurred in our state. There are more scientists here about ten or fifteen pieces and came up with the newest and best Relaxer. The airlock opened, I burst into the technical department hall and I saw a spacesuit to protect the entire body. And I thought: “Give me the thing, what's hanging in that closet over there, I'm "Akvashek" and "Mutonov" at once I will run them all. Give me a wave gun, I'll cause such damage, give free rein to your courage, I can hardly control myself. I'll fry all of them, bastards, I'll put them on a skewer. Give me a big gun, I'll tell them, bye- zhu. And so, having calmed my nerves, I went in to see the director. He tells me: “For your service, I’ll fucking reward you.” And our boss is a warrior, a veteran like no other, he likes to swear a little, and he pulls give me an envelope: “Here are the ranks of Corporal, here’s a bag of sweets for you.” Your partner has come to see you, I’ll invite him right now, but in the meantime he wants to- I'll give you a treat." And he poured two glasses of vodka, whoa"Kremlin", we checked in with him like brothers... Here outside suddenly the door opened, I choked on my throat: the girl was at the door stood, and I quickly turned around. And I barely swallowed, and suddenly the world has turned upside down. The girl was beautiful, very, very attractive She has such shapes that you can’t help but want to be there. Then, as if from afar, a voice reached me. Said this boss: “Hello, Lyubochka, meet me. This is your new partner." “Hello,” the voice was beautiful. At her like a chump Staring, stuttering, I answer: “Hello!” And it seems to make me sad I'll give Vasya. Our boss looks at me reproachfully from under his brows, and He pricks me with his gaze, like an injection. I'm on a girl I look and no longer stutter: “Hello, I’m Anatoly and without help I'm toiling... A day passes, two days pass, I hit anyone, I keep spinning I am around her, and I gave her flowers on the threshold of her house from such broad love that, like an angel, I fly in the high heavens. But the boss calls, he has a state of emergency. happened: vile aliens- The guys landed in St. Petersburg. Yes, in that great city where Slava Mednonogov lived there and he still lives there and works as a teacher The younger generation is teaching and preparing our replacement. People won't forget "Spectrum", "IBM" will drown in shit. And so, the corps is on alert Our ears are raised quickly, we put on our equipment and check our weapons. Here we are getting into the fighter, that we have a Tritoncalled, and we fly We're going to St. Petersburg quickly. Now the speed will develop... We landed softly, perhaps on Senate Square. Let's see into the porthole and we feel disgusted. There are aliens at that end they were very amused: they were throwing caps into the air to see if they were there is everyone drunk? We quietly go out and crawl towards the vile aliens. Well, we crawl further, creep closer to them, jump up we scream wildly and point our skis there. Then I hear a shot loud, Lyuba gets hit in the shoulder by the recoil, the sneaky alien flies off three meters, what luck! In an instant, a pure angel turned just a bitch. And the aliens fluttered in a hail of powerful bullets torpedo Lyuba ran out of ammunition, throwing away her weapon, she rushed to attack right into the dump, right into the thick of it. Somewhere through There was silence for three minutes, and then Lyuba appeared. She's behind her led ten submissive aliens. Apparently, she hit at random, as There are only bruises on the green muzzles. Here I just - once and for all - I realized how lucky I was: I almost proposed, if only done - that's all! If I were under Lyuba’s heel, worse than my mother-in-law, worse trait. That's it, today I quit my job and move to another city. I seem to Lyuba really, really liked it. SOS! Save my soul! By what right do I have to marry her?! It's better to be lonely. It's better to be miserable. EPILOGUE Corporal Anatoly Samoilo on the nextday I quit and re- went to live in Moscow. Private Lyubov Zhbanova, rose to the rank in two months Colonel General, received numerous orders and medals. She replaced the director of the ufologists center, and under her leadership Soon the war with the aliens was won. General Vasily Krivoruchko retired and now lives in in the village of New Vasyuki and is engaged in breeding tulips.
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