---------------------------------------------------------------- (C) IRONMAN CRIMINAL CHRONICLE *** In Novosibirsk, a specially sophisticated sexual maniac. We appeal to all police officers: do not go out in the evening in uniform, with weapons, especially in small groups. *** Shame on you. Only in March in the city of Novosibirsk 512 currency and ruble prostitutes were detained. 480 police officers were indicted. *** Criminals are playing. At the door of his apartment he was beaten and robbed by Evstifeev. Unknown in a nylon stocking with shouting: “Where have you been, you brute? You don’t care what I worried?" - hit him with a blunt object and took him away the remaining 1,240 rubles from the paycheck. ---------------------------------------------------------------- (C) IRONMAN THE SHORTEST JOKES. 1. Gave birth 2. Shaved 3. Virgin mother-in-law 4. Jewish janitor 5. Kolobok hanged himself 6. Buratino drowned 7. About the skydiver: - Boom?! ---------------------------------------------------------------- (C) RINDEX It's summer. +30, maybe more. Girls in bikinis... Well, and now I’ll present you with one short story, without even explaining a story, but letters, though not to our newspaper. I do not advise you to provide stand in the place of the heroes of these letters. Oh, I don't recommend it...---------------------------------------------------------------- (C) MEGAPOLIS - EXPRESS (printed with abbreviation) (R) RINDEX ..Here is a letter about Valentina T.’s first bed experience from the city Berezniki, Perm region: "... And then we had to close in the bathroom; I wanted him so much in those minutes that I was ready for anything! I began to feverishly take off my panties, but I got tangled up in them and stumbled. fell, flew and hit her head on the corner of the washing machine "Vyatka". Blood is terrible! He, instead of putting it on me First of all, cowards, he rushed to call for help. Everyone came running and started yelling: “Put panties on her! Put on your panties!" Even little brother: tlusy, tlusy. Behind him is a hundred-year-old granny she howled and kept babbling: “And where are those cowards? I don't see... maybe but- Would you like me to offer you?" Lord, what a family! What a goat Arturchik, whom I loved!" Undoubtedly, the cramped conditions of our homes and the overcrowding of people in them force lovers to use the most cunning tricks to get what they want first experience. And what to hide - there are casualties and significant her invalid Martha. Here is a letter from the same series from Olya M. from small town of Dyatkovo: “I am a frank person and I will say: we There is no place to start sex life with Igor - at least go to the entrance ,at least to the park! We suffered for a long time. It's always crazy at my house a lot of people, and even relatives tortured them, either mother’s or father’s, or evenit’s unclear whose - the seventh water on jelly, from Kamchatka, from Se- Vera, from the Moscow region. His house is also worse than a tower. In general, They spat on everything. He stayed overnight with me: I persuaded him pretending to be drunk, they say, is dangerous for him in such a state. rush home. The ancestors with two sisters and a nephew lay down in big room. I’m on the sofa in the other, Igorek is squealing on the “baby” was going on, and between us was a triple uncle from Chardzhou, a refugee, a huge belly up. He snores so much that the walls shake. And on two old ones The triple aunt is sleeping in the chairs in the kitchen. In general, Igorek climbed to I stepped on the belly of this refugee, and he has some kind of gut in her womb burst, screaming as if she had been stabbed to death. They called an ambulance, two months After the operation, he languished in the hospital. Moreover, the auntie is a fool and threw glared at Igorka: “Drunk! Alcoholic! I wanted to take the life of this handsome!" Here is the answer to the question of the previous letter. Where do lovers go? if not to go to the bathroom, even though you might hurt your head. However Olya and Igor improved the moment, now at his house, and slipped in a smaller nook that is next to the door to the bathroom. So what? Only the unfortunates somehow settled down there, when the twin sisters appeared Igor’s sweethearts Inga and Ksyusha, both began to scratch at the door: - Igor, you’re doing something with Aunt Olya, right? Then the grandmother stood next to her and muttered: “Ask: they pushed won’t the two of you blow it apart?” And these two fidget dogs are three years oldhow they finish: - We want some too, too! And everyone immediately ran up: get out! come out! And while we were leaving , they got so excited and shit themselves so much that everyone almost fell on us fists: you fascists, you impudent bastards, you tortured innocent children almost to death!... Zufar Gareev.
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