Tales - Are you studying English? Then this guide can help you.

Periodical Spectrum publication.


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      The newspaper is published once every 13 days


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Are you studying English?

Then this guide can help you. 
The English tense system from the point of view
usage of the verb "to Vodka": 

1. Firstly, it is necessary to understand that in 
In the language under study there are verbs: 

1.1 indefinite, that is 
it is unknown whether you drink or not. 

1.2 long (Continuous), that is, you 
you drink and are in a deep state 
binge drinking 

1.3 completed (Perfect), that is, you either
has already quit the binge, or has already completely 
got drunk and passed out. 


2. Secondly, there is an objective: 

2.1 Present - your attitude towards 
alcohol 

2.2 past (Past) - dark or light 

2.3 future (Future) - what is shining for you:
liver cirrhosis, drug treatment clinic, 
delirium tremens, etc. 


3. Now mix everything. 

3.1. Present: 

3.1.1. PresentIndefinite (present) 
indeterminate) see above. I vodka every 
day. - I drink vodka every day. Instead of 
every day you can use the following expressions: 
usually, rarely, often, from time to time, 
from melkaya posuda, bolshimi glotkamy... 

3.1.2. Present Continuous (present
continuous): I am vodking now. - I'm drinking 
vodka now. For emphatic enhancement with
At this time you can use adverbs: 
Not constantly vodking! - He constantly 
sneaky! 

3.1.3. Present Perfect (present 
completed): I have already vodked. - I 
already drunk. (In response to a suggestion 
drink). 

3.1.4. Present Perfect Continuous 
(present completed-continuous): I 
have been vodking since childhood. - I'm drinking
vodka since childhood. (inclusive type). I was drinking 
I’ve been drinking vodka since childhood (but I don’t drink it anymore). (type 
exclusive). 

3.2. Past: 

3.2.1. Past Indefinite (past 
indefinite): I vodked yesterday. - I 
got drunk yesterday. (Not to be confused with time 
3.1.3., you just got drunk there). 

3.2.2. Past Continuous (past 
continuous): Often used as 
subordinate clause to the main one 
time 3.2.1. Unfortunately, I was 
vodking at the moment my wife herself. - K 
unfortunately, I was drinking vodka at that moment, 
when the wife came. 

3.2.3. Past Perfect (past completed)
noe): also used as a subordinate clause.
I had already vodked when my wife herself. - 
I was already drunk when my wife entered. 

3.2.4. Past Perfect Continuous(past
completed-continued). I had been 
vodking for about a month when my wife 
myself - I've been drinking vodka for about a month now, 
when my wife came in. 

3.3. Future: 

3.3.1. Future Indefinite 
undefined). I will vodka tomorrow. - 
I'll drink vodka tomorrow. Note: B 
subordinate clauses of time and conditions
(that is, in the absence of a suitable 
time and conditions) instead of time 3.3.1. 
tense 3.1.1. is used: If I vodka 
tomorrow I will be sick the day after 
tomorrow. - If I drink tomorrow, I will 
be sick the day after tomorrow. 

3.3.2. Future Continuous 
long-term). I will vodking tomorrow 
at 5. - I will engage in consumption 
strong drinks tomorrow at five. 
Note: If you have a strong desire to get drunk
xia instead of time 3.3.1. can be consumed
time 3.3.2.: Soon! Soon I will е vodking
 - Soon! Soon I will be drinking vodka!
 
3.3.3. Future Perfect 
completed): used when 
planning for intoxication. Tomorrow
It's 5 o'clock I will have vodked. - Tomorrow 
By five I'll be drunk. 

3.3.4. Future Perfect Continuous (future 
completed-continuous): Wu tomorrow 
morning I will have been vodking for a 
term. - By tomorrow morning I will be drinking 
vodka semester. 

3.3.5 Future in the Past 
past): Would you vodka in the 
children's garden? - Would you like to drink white
in kindergarten? We hope this 
affordablepresentation of the English system 
times will help you master them. 

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At a traffic light a Cossack gets hit in the ass 
"Mercedes Gelentvagen". Surprisingly 
sitting in it, from the "Cossacks" slowly 
a nondescript little man gets out and heads towards 
to the "brothers".
- Guys, you got it. From you 5 thousand 
dollars - now! "Brothers", shocked by 
such impudence, they call the “boss” and inform him
situation. He says:
- Give him the money!
"Brothers" give money. The guy says:
- For some reason you’ve been walking for a long time... For this you’re charged 
5 more pieces! The "brothers" are calling the "godfather" again
He says:
- Give it back!
"Brothers" give another 5 thousand. Little guy 
thought and said:
- Because you detained me like that, 
give me those two more whores who 
sitting in your car!
The "brothers" call the "godfather":
- This freak is crazy! Not only that he 
took all our money, he still demands 
our girls!!!
- Well, give him the phone... Dad, I don’t understand, 
in kind, you went for kefir, 
or let my boys go?!!

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The many-faced grandfather Mazai Imagine that 
the famous fairy tale by Nekrasov was taken 
film Moreover, they decided to do this
several countries at once: So, welcome, 
Grandfather Mazay will be on screens soon: In Russian... 

Russian man, exhausted by life and 
nagging wife, satisfies her unhappiness 
bitter. In the forest. With hares. They have established
true male friendship flows, hares 
understand Grandfather Mazai perfectly:. So when it starts
natural disaster, Mazay spits on his 
poor economy, home and family and 
rushes to save what is most precious - his own 
bosom friends of hares. 

American style... The day before the brave man's departure
Ranger Mazai's retirement, in the forest 
the flood begins. Like real 
American, Mazay rushes to save the most 
The most valuable thing in his forest is hares. On
On the way back the ranger realizes that 
society simply used it and tomorrow 
will throw it in the trash. Thoughts on this 
unbearable for Mazai, and under a terrible squeal 
hares his oar rises and falls
on the heads of long-eared ones. All over the boat 
splashes of blood and rabbit brains fly away.
Mazay's life ends with electricity 
chair. The film receives 12 Oscars. 

In Indian... Mazai is a poor boatman. 
He has no money at all, he can't even 
pay for a transport license 
passengers. So he works in the forest and 
transports animals. While he is transporting them, 
they sing and dance together. From the dancing boat
sways and often turns over. 
Animals that cannot swim drown. 
Today Mazai transports hares. Together with 
with them he dances and sings about how in 
Last time I drowned while transporting an elephant. 
And once again the boat from the dance 
turns over. In the stormy waves of Mazai 
I was able to save only one hare. They 
the two of them lie on the shore, sing and dry out. 
Here it turns out thatthe hare is the same 
birthmark on the paw, like Mazai's on 
leg. The hare sings to Mazai a great secret about
that in fact Mazay is not a boatman, 
a - raja. Everyone is running to this news 
animals and people from the surrounding area and begin 
sing together and glorify the new Raja. 

In Italian... Sicilian Mazai arrives 
to Venice and gets the idea to rob 
local bank. This is his first robbery
tion, and he needs accomplices. At night, sneaking 
on the gondola to the bank, he meets the group 
hares escaping from the zoo. Hares 
turn out to be successful accomplices - they 
cunning, dexterous and learned to chew at the zoo 
granite and concrete. For their salvation they agreed
are afraid to take part in a bank robbery. 

In Polish... Mazai meets in the forest 
hares who got lost. Plants in 
boat and promises to take them to Moscow, but 
lucky in the other direction. When are the hares 
They understand that they are drowning Mazai. 

In Ukrainian... Mazai is an old Cossack, 
rescues Ukrainians from Turkish captivity 
hares. Mazai is wearing an embroidered shirt and is being played by 
Bohdan Stupka. Hares also wear embroidered shirts. 
Russian producers insisted that the hares 
gnawed on the lard - otherwise they look a little 
unnatural. 

In Belarusian... Documentary film in 
the best traditions of Soviet propaganda. 
Tells how President Lukashenko 
saved the Belarusian currency - . B 
the country itself caused a storm of indignation 
national patriots who accused Lukashenko of
what exactlyhe drowned the bunny. 

In Japanese... A children's cartoon about how 
Grandfather Ma Zai collected the largest 
Pokemon collection. 

In French... Documentary about 
how Jacques Mazay on his ship 
 collects rare 
species of animals (in this case, hares), 
takes them far out to the ocean and releases them there 
to freedom. 

In Brazilian... Series. Don Mazay in the boat 
and many, many wild monkeys. They float and 
sort out the relationship with each other. Why everything? 
started, no one remembers - series 
goes on for several years. 

In Dutch... The plot of the film is unknown - 
it is banned from being shown all over the world 
wording of the reason: . 

In German... Porn. There is no plot. 
Bestiality, gerontophilia, necrophilia, etc.
The most harmless thing in the film is propaganda 
drugs. 

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Motorist - insurance agent:
- This is necessary - the third time this season in the ass 
they're moving in!!!
- Of course - drive like a pi#aras...

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SPRING
Once the garbage dumps have thawed, that means everything, 
damn, it's spring!
I'm again wandering from a drinking bout in puddles of melted snow 
shit.
I hear the sound of drops in my ear, the sun is blazing 
hot,
A sparrow from a dry roof shit on me
shoulder
Clouds like flocks of ducks float over 
bridge,
And the dog is looking for something under the dog 
tail.
Hot! At least take off your shirt, at least 
take off your underpants...It would be nice to drag stupid Masha into the 
barn!

SUMMER
If it stinks of shit all around, it means it's summer 
it has begun!
I'm sitting in the barn again, getting drunk until I cry.
My moonshine still is used by the entire collective farm 
stink.
He can distill a ton of moonshine in a week.
I don’t feel sorry, I pour it and treat everyone.
For two weeks, three dead bodies lay behind the barn.
Well, the stench is so bad, at least lie down and 
die.
Isn’t it time to drag fool Masha now into 
barn!

AUTUMN
Since the shit was washed away by the rain, it means it’s autumn 
yard,
All the trees are sad - there are no leaves 
fuck.
I sit and look out the window - I’m not the same 
beauty.
My cat is bored - not @but her cats.
Puddles are like elephants pissing. Even by boat 
shovel it out!
It would be nice to drag stupid Masha already into
barn!!

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The Georgians stand on the top of the mountain and hold 
boomerang in hands. Another one comes up to him and 
asks: 
- Givi, what do you have? 
- Don't know. 
- Why do you need this? 
- Don't know. 
- Well then throw it away! 
- Throw it away yourself, yeah!!

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new reality show "Grave" on TNT. 
10 participants dig a grave at a cost 
2 million rubles... but it will only go to 
alone. The audience will choose the winner...

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A German, an Englishman and 
Russian. We found a lamp. They rubbed it, and from there
the genie flew out and said: 
- I grant everyone 2 wishes! 
German says: 
- Baba and go home. 
The Englishman says: 
- Lots of money and home. 
The Russian thought and thoughtthought and thought and said: 
- A box of vodka and everyone back!

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A bear sits in the bullpen and opposite him in 
another hippo cage. The bear looks at 
him and sadly says: I would be yours 
e#deprived - yes, I wish I could grab some honey!!

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