Tales - DOSES OF TAKING STRONG ALCOHOLIC DRINKS.

Periodical Spectrum publication.


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      The newspaper is published once every 13 days


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In 2004 the newspaper will be published:

number 05 - March 15
number 06 - March 28
number 07 - April 10
number 08 - April 23
number 09 - 06 May
number 10 - May 19
etc

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In the middle of a nudist beach lies a man in
clothes. One of them approaches him 
sunbathers and asks:
-Are you a nudist?
- Yes.
- Why in clothes?
- And I'm a pervert.

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I really want something big and
clean.
Washed the elephant.
Not that:

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DOSES OF TAKING STRONG ALCOHOLIC DRINKS.

100 - You want to start all over again and 
First of all, skip another shot.
200 - You are simply puffed up with love for 
neighbor, especially if neighbor 
is a woman.
300 - Your eyes have opened - everything around you 
brothers and you are looking for - who will take care of them? 
rip your throat out.
400 - Everyone around is brutes.
500 - Dose -philosophical. Brain 
are filled with brilliant ideas, and the filthy 
Roth cannot translate them into Russian.
600 - You rise above the world by a head-
a dizzying height, at which for some reason 
starts to feel sick.
700-800 - Don't remember anything - but eyewitnesses
they claim that you broke it all
- that means there was Ilya Muromets in the family after all.
900 - A sharp cutting feeling arises: how
it’s just like that - life is almost lived 
- but I didn’t build a tree, I didn’t give birth to a house, 
I didn’t imprison my son. 
I wanted to start changing everything and get up 
- but I only managed to fart and lie down. 
.
1000 - Well, another liter of vodka for
the light became less.

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There is a guy standing at the bus stop. 
Here comes a slender, pretty one
candy girl. 
The guy, looking sideways at her, said in a low voice:
- Yeah,... someone is fucking...
The girl immediately turns around.
- Do you want it too?
- YES!!!...
- Well, let's go... He'll fuck you too!!!

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Advertising

Queue at the gay club. 
The first person in line is ringing 
cell phone 
- yes darling... of course dear... 
I talked and removed it. the second one rang: 
-yes, bunny... oh, what a naughty... 
rings at the third, fourth... rings 
at the extreme: 
- hello darling...
voice-over:
Even the last fagot has 
"nokia 3110"

             * * *

Yesterday I met a guy with 
like thisbig!!! It's just not in my head 
fits!
- Never mind! You have everything 
ahead!
-I hope you don’t have a second thought....

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How to become a loser?

1. Be negative about everything.
Whatever you have to face, 
get used to seeing only the best in everything 
bad. Predict anyone's failure
affairs. This way you can develop 
contains an inferiority complex that 
will destroy everything good in your life, and 
will turn it into a living hell.

2. Always interfere in other people's affairs.
It is unlikely that in this case you will have enough time
mind your own business.

3. Try to please everyone and take advantage of-
with the advice of all people. In your mind 
There will be complete chaos.

4. Systematically deceive your people 
neighbors. Be sure that when deception 
If it turns out, they will no longer respect you.

5. Believe any information you get 
you will hear. If someone said this, 
that means it is so.

6. Did you come up with a good idea? 
Tell everyone about it immediately.
Your loved ones will have a chance not to leave
from this idea of stone upon stone. This is the best
way to be disappointed and waste everything 
your energy without doing anything.

7. Never do that thing today 
can be postponed until tomorrow.

8. Assign the most important things to be done 
to someone else. Absolutely no use 
do them yourself.

9. Try to come to the fair on 
the day after itclosing.

10. Remember that the insurance contract 
best deal the next day 
after the fire.

11. Throw away notebooks and notebooks.
Rely solely on memory.

12. Never be original.
Copy what many have already done before you.

13. Realize that you already know everything there is to know 
necessary and you have nothing to learn. This recipe 
will eliminate any chance of success.

14. Despise everyone who has achieved something in
life. By following this recommendation, you 
cause yourself serious harm.

15. Constantly talk about what you already have 
it's too late to fix anything.

16. Try not to learn any lessons.
from your mistakes. Do the same thing again
and again with donkey stubbornness.

17. Listen to only one of the disputants 
sides

18. Your tongue was given to you in order to spread
talk gossip about your neighbors.
The more enemies you make, the better.

19. Never compromise your 
pride. Under no circumstances 
do what you think is beneath you
dignity, even if you have to 
beg for alms.

20. Try to get everything for free, in 
at least - on the cheap.
This will develop in you the much-needed 
Every loser has a poverty complex.

21. No matter what trouble happens to you, 
accept it humbly.

22. Live as if there is no God.

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