Interview - cops kazly.

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   | Everyone, fuck everyone! + +  Authors: Drunks. +--+   
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 |Ministry of Punk Education + + 2003 |   | M P |
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 Chapter I: The beginning of the drinking.                   
 Taras (T): Eh, what are you recording, or what?                          
 Chapai (C): Well, the dick is clear, fuck! So, an interview with Taras. Well, wait,
 sit down first, well, you sat in the wrong place, I’m sitting here, oh, I’m not
 I’m sitting here, I’m sitting there, so, on those glass, in short, damn...        
 T: Cops are goats!                                                
 C: What are youdo you study in your free time?                       
 T: Jerk off! I jerk off my dick, yes I look at magazines and jerk off my dick, yes I do
 I do it!                                                     
 Pause.                                                         
 C: Cool! A.. what about you and the women, do they give?                      
 Groboviik (G): There’s no end, damn it!                                  
 T: Yes, sometimes, but they are all sick, bitches!                    
 C: Are everyone sick? Well, we shouldn’t fuck the sick!                      
 T: They are bitches, they are fag... fag... crap!                    
 Laughter.                                                         
 G: Well, women, wait a minute!                                             
 T: A Roma is a schmuck! Eye-haired asshole!                             
 Chapter II: About the chock.                      
 C: Why were you given four years probation?                      
 T: Yes, my fucking mouth, I’ve seen enough of TV series and I wanted to kill him...
 sometimes fucking, but they gave me good cunts, and I with an ax, and me
 the cops also gave pussy, and gavefour years, and the judge is also an ass!
 C: Cool!                                                      
 T: U all of them are bullshit, all, all blockheads bitches, fuck, fuck
 they need to be fucked. There's Roma, whore, pouring wine, you schmuck, you goat! I
 I'll rip your ass out!                                             
 G: I’ll pour less!                                          
 C: Listen, Taras, would you like to write for our newspaper
 article?                                                        
 T: Fuck it, what should I write about, what should I write about, Chapay, what? All in
 life, fucking, Zhirinovsky, fucking, come on everyone, kill everyone, fucking, Upak
 fuck, fuck, fuck, shoot everyone, fuck, Pentogon, fuck!                  
 C: Well, our newspaper, you see, has developed such authority as
 one of the most alcoholic.                                        
 T: Oh, drink right? Thump? Some boogers have gathered, damn it! Well yes,
 I’ll write, but what will I write, what am I drinking? I haven't tried denatured alcohol! But
 I'll write something. What to write about Chapai, let me tell you the interview
 yes, yes I will do it! Why should I write how much I drink a day?     
 C: No, what the hell do you think, this interview will be published in my gallery?
 zete. T: I’ll publish them like that! I'll fucking tear off your entire mohawk! I'll let you down
 fucking glare of the newspaper! Why the hell are you reaching for a glass? Creature! Get everyone wet
 everyone, everyone! I'm a fucking goat!                                    
 Laugh wildly.                                                   
 T: Everyone, kill everyone! Let's drink. Calories, fuck, fuck, fagot
 ry! Come on, let me tell her something, ask, ask! 
 C: A... for some reason my head isn’t working.                    
 T: But it doesn’t work for you with a mohawk!                        
 C: Fuck, I think I know everything about you, there’s no need to ask.       
 T: Come on, I need it for the newspaper!                                    
 C: We need it! Ka... How often do you drink?                            
 T: Do you bully often? As soon as it happens, I’ll drink it!                            
 C: Well, once a year, once a month, once a week?              
 T: Yeah, five times a day, damn it! What the fuck are you asking stupidly?
 C: Well, people need to know.                                    
 T: And people, and people are all assholes! C: So, okay, I’ll have a drink and let’s continue.                        
 Embossing. Belching. Silence.                                      
 Chapter III: Taras is a psychic.              
 T: Well, why are we silent?                                            
 C: Well, I'm crazy!!!                                           
 T: Let me squeak something. So, what could I say? Yes, we serve
 Watch me carefully, I give instructions, one, two, on the fifth day
 you won't wake up, on the third day your head will fall off,
 the first day all particles will fail, what... what... what the fuck, this is extra-
 Sens I, fucking mouth! Come on, Rom, let's have fun with you, let me be with you
 I’ll ask for an interview, tell me how you and Olya fuck, well
 tell me, you're fucked! Roma says: 'I put my dick in her -
 Whoa, first I push in the non-erect one, and then he gets up and I’m already fucking!
 And so: it doesn’t fit.’ Yes Rum? Will you confirm this?                 
 G: Yes!                                                         
 T: Yes, Roma said YES! That's it, we split it. And she does those
 blowjob?                                                         
 G: Would you like to give me a blowjob? T: Me? Should you do it? Yes, I would do it to you, I’m afraid you’re stupid
 smells very strong.                                           
 G: I'll smear it with 'Star'.                                   
 T: 'asterisk'?                                               
 Laughter.                                                         
 T: Roma smears his head with the 'Star'! 'The asterisk is fucked up -
 true.                                                        
 Chapter IV: Tattoos.                        
 C: Hey Taras, do you want me to give you a tattoo?                  
 T: No!                                                        
 C: Why not?                                               
 T: My body is intended for drawings or something, pinned
 your mother is here. I fucking found a painting, your mother. Don't do anything
 Where are the tattoos? It’s all bullshit!                                 
 C: Well, maybe you want some kind of tattoo there?                
 T: Yes, I want, I want to fuck a woman!                              
Ch: Well, you can do it directly.                                 
 T: Do you have a typewriter?                                        
 C: Of course.                                                    
 G: Come on, you're fucked, you're doing an interview.                        
 T: I'll be pierced here.                                           
 C: Why do you need to pin them there?                                       
 T: Taras!                                                      
 G: It's better to ink it on the forehead: 'Only on the forehead, bitches, don't hit it!'          
 Laugh wildly.                                                   
 T: I was in pain yesterday, damn, the cops fucked me, the cops all this
 do.                                                        
 G: Goats, goats, all cops, goats!                              
 T: No, they are morons!                                             
 Pause.                                                         
 T: Come on, have some lard!                                           
 C: Take it in the refrigerator, if, of course, you put it there. T: I didn’t clean it.                                                  
 C: That means it’s on the table.                                          
 Pause.                                                         
 C: What do you usually eat?                                  
 T: What, what, I eat chapaya.                                        
 C: Come on, will you interview Groboviyik?                      
 T: I'll take it from him, damn it.                                  
 G: Come on, take it, come on, I'm fucking getting up, take it!                     
 T: Oh, how happy he was, Grobovyuk, fuck, fuck, you need pussy
 give! Let me give you those.                                          
 G: What will you give me?                                             
 T: Oh, how fast, Grobovyuk is fast, you're fucking fast!         
 C: A, Sereg, Taras...                                          
 Laughter.                                                         
 Chapter V: Ministry of Goats.             
 T: Calories, fuck! C: Please tell us how you joined the Ministry of Panko-
 education?                                                   
 T: Have I joined? Yes, I joined. I don't remember. Yes, I joined the punks. 
 C: Well...you're listed there.                                       
 T: Fuck, yes, I'm in the Ministry. A? How did you join? I'm a dick
 knows him, I don’t remember. Yes, I'm a fucking goat!                       
 Laugh.                                                         
 G: What is this: the Ministry of Goats, or what?                        
 C: Why do you treat yourself like that?                          
 T: Schmuck me!                                                      
 C: Rom, now we are interviewing you. How often do you shave?   
 G: Difficult question.                                             
 C: Well, once a year, once a month, once a week?                   
 G: Most likely when I'm sober.                         
 C: How often are you sober?                       
 G: I don’t remember the last time. C: Yes, it's fun, I guess.                                    
 T: Let me sing a song.                                         
 C: Wait, I’d better interview Romka.                   
 T: Damn it, take it from him, he's an idiot, you need to kill him!       
 C: Huli, should I take anything from you? You keep calling yourself an asshole.    
 Chapter VI: Romka is a troglodyte.                
 T: Yes, about the goats, what do you call yourself, tell me, tell me
 who you are, tell me really, let people know, let them know
 yut! Tell me, why the hell are you looking?                                   
 G: Troglodyte!                                                  
 T: Yes, he is a troglodyte, he eats, he won’t get drunk.                     
 G: Yes, I eat and shit, then I shit and eat again!                     
 Laughter.                                                         
 T: Normal, yes, he eats and shits ha-ha-ha! Do you understand? And I'm a goat
 and he eats and shits, is that normal, right? Come on, what can you say? I am the voice
 changed, you won’t recognize me, they’ll never recognize me!               
 C: Come on Taras!                                          
 T: I’m not Taras, I’m not Taras, just a fucking schmuck, a substitute for fucking, vib-
 fucking speaker!                                                  
 Chapter VII: About the cops                     
 C: A, Seryoga, Taras...                                         
 T: I’m not Taras, understand?                                          
 H: Calories.                                                    
 T: No fucking way! The chick told me I'm a dick!                       
 C: Please tell us how you rested in the cops at night?    
 T: Yes, bitches, they didn’t give me a single cigarette, I say: 'Where is my
 burner, you bastards! ' and I don't give a fuck about them, and this rabble -
 cue, whore, fucking fagot, I tell him: “You’re a fucking goat!” Schmuck!' a
 He’s like, fuck me, and that’s fine. It's okay they let me go, I'm going home
 he came to my mother’s fuck and knocked out two fingers. A? The cops extinguished
 My new 3 rubles 50 kopecks were taken away by the creatures!                     
 C: No, why the hell are you yelling?                                    
 T: Because a newspaper is everything, a newspaper! She's all screwed.         
 Pause.                                                         
 T: You're fucked up eating! You eat and shit everything!                      
 G: I eat and shit!                                                  
 T: Eats and shits, got it!                                         
 G: No, that’s what I drink!                                            
 T: And does he drink it? Can he still drink?                       
 G: Look, the speakers almost burst, keep your voice down!               
 T: Shut up, you asshole, I'll put you in jail, you won't be there
 no matter what! Everything will shut you up! U mouth will be sewn shut with purple thread
 kami!                                                          
 G: With a bow?                                                 
 T: With a bow, with a bow!                                     
 Chapter VIII: Calories.                      
 C: Tell Seryoga, Taras...                                    
 Laughter.                                                         
 C: Why were you called Calorie?                                
 T: Calories? Yes, Calories. Yes, why the fuck is my penis healthy?
 caloric. As women suck they say: 'Fuck, fuck your ass'
 riy!                                                           
 C: No, but really?                                       
 T: Well, actually... it was like this. Why, should I tell you everything?
 C: Yes!                                                         
 T: This is fucking. Well, fuck it, in short, we come to Chapai and collapse
 to the hut, we were sitting normally, we took some booze, sat there drinking, and I was eating
 I wanted it like a bastard, so I went to the store, I bought cottage cheese there,
 sour cream and milk, I mixed it all here on Chapai’s table and began
 eat, and inspired them, I tell them: 'Calorie, calories, fuck, them
 You have to eat, fuck! ' and they fucking drink sam and don't give a fuck, and I tell them:
 'You have to eat this!' and then Chapai took it and put it on this plate -
 zero, fell asleep, and everyone here smokes, drinks, and Chapai sleeps in a plate,
 in my calories, I say: 'My calories are spilled, bitches, spilled
 my calories! ', but they didn't understand, fuck, that I also wanted to eat, and
 here comes mom... fuck! And Kirill says to me: 'Oh, fuck, those-  
 now you'll be a calorie!' and they gave me a Calorie chaser!         
 Actually, at this point my cassette jammed and we're fucked
 ended.Bye everyone.