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| Looking for a job... |
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It was getting dark when I already approached the squat building without
windows So I open the heavy door with a clang and it hits me in the nose
a pungent smell of something rotting mixed with the smell of mold and
formalina. I carefully take the first step into the kingdom of tiles and
I walk alone in the cold tiled corridor. Somewhere far away it's loud
my steps echo.
Here ahead I hear a shout and a clear sniffle:
-Who's here?
- It's me...
- Oh well.
An uncle emerged from the darkness like a ghost,which is very
looked like a bittern from a swamp (only in a hat with earflaps and a nose
stuffed into a bag of pea pies)
“What do you want?” he asked, dreaming about pies.
- I, it’s... about work...
“Well, well,” said the watchman and smiled gloomily, taking the pie, “
straight ahead and to your left. I moved further into the cold tiled
corridors. Right along the corridor there was a gurney. What's on it
lay under the sheet, I didn’t look, because the gurney stank just as much
as well as from the watchman's pies. Turning left, I saw a door, a
in front of the door there is a tattered leather boot (I still don’t know why
would that be?). I knocked... They answered something like this:
- Semyonich, get out! I don’t have any vodka, I’m a damn alcoholic!
I knocked again.
-What do you want?!
..........
I broke into a room littered with rubbish. The room was the same
made in the Baroque style (tiles, tiles and more tiles).I
leisurely looked at the landmark of the local landscape
(in the sense of a pathologist). A gloomy picture appeared to me -
I expected to see a huge, silent, stupid thug c
rolled up sleeves insnow-white-dirty-bloody
medical-like robe (but I miscalculated): it was small
a civilian-looking guy in a dirty robe with a blue nose
(you know, something in the style of Jack the Ripper). He also managed
study me and even somehow perked up when a new one appeared
"victims"...
- I’m coming to you about work.
“What do you dream of doing here,” he said with a sarcastic
with a grin.
- I, hmm... well, I can cut something for someone, - I
thought, but after a moment he cheerfully perked up and said, “I can
sawing through the bones of corpses at night.
He clearly did not expect such an answer. And stared at me like
for very interesting material to dissect. But he quickly mastered it
with himself and parried my verbal attack:
- We need a body washer
“Great, thank you doctor, so are you taking me?” I said.
in a fit of enthusiasm
- Why don’t you, young man, ask o
salary?
- And... what do you also get paid on top of everything else?
The pathologist looked at mesome amazement
- What does it mean to finish? They pay us here and that’s it! 47
rubles.... Will this suit you?
He said this as if he wanted to finish me off with his phrase.
But I immediately told emy, brazenly sitting down on the couch and moving her
a bunch of some pehtrehobcue pictures:
“Well, doctor, you’ll disappoint me,” I said.
chagrin.
“Why is that?” he was surprised and began to drink tea from some
urine test tubes.
- Well, you see, although they didn’t pay us in the morgue, they paid for something
“We worked like on a collective farm!” I said solemnly
pomposity.
“How’s that?” he asked.
- Well, everything is extremely simple, doctor! Think about it...
“Well?” he asked in a whisper, covering the atmosphere of the conversation.
apeolom of mystery.
- In short, I worked like this: I wash eight corpses - one is mine!
When I said this, the pathologist took a mouthful of
tea and was about to swallow it, he sharply spat it out on
some magazine and choked on the tea he was swallowing. N-yes this
there was a strong blow to the psyche of a simpleperson... And I continued
sit phlegmatically and brazenly look at the pictures,
pretending to find it fun. An ominous reign reigned
silence. I realized that I was starting to scare this sitting scarecrow
opposite me. At the same time, I began to squirm wildly, I
resisted with all his might, but the resistance was not enough
for a long time and I got carried away!
The doctor said sternly
- And why do you need corpses?
I slowly told emy that I found more corpses
more interesting than people. And he added:
- Well, you know, they're so cute, blue and swollen, just
a sight for sore eyes.
At these words the doctor shuddered. And I realized that he was losing
self-control.
- Well, you know, comrade doctor, when I worked in the morgue...
The pathologist did not let me finish, as I understood it was
his last effort to fight the blizzard that dumps his tunycom into
my face. He asked:
- What morgue did you work in?
- O-o-o-o-o.... I worked in Ehakuebckom body storage #3
under the FirstCity hospital! We have a director there, pom cam Arthur
Markovich Uritsky,” I said with pride.
“Yes!?,” the doctor said meaningfully, “so you’re better for me.”
tell me, why do you need so many corpses? I mean at home. Why do you need
how much?
I fell silent... furrowed my eyebrows, and the doctor thought I had shut up.
my mouth, but I emy said:
- Yes, you know: sometimes you bring some dead
the girl to your home, after a busy day at work, you will put her in
bed and go get something to eat... Do you know, doctor, I have
little niece, she just can’t sleep without something
something that stinks of formaldehyde, rotting, soft and plump...
Just a disaster! That's norahka... (I said with love in
voice)
The doctor turned white, grabbed his heart, but held out. Then
I went to the closet, took the first aid kit and started eating pills. And I
continued:
- But doctor, I can’t help myself - I can’t
It’s bad to keep your niece... She’s still little, dear! Yes and
grandma doesn't mind. True, doctor, I later worked as a watchman and
I spent the night there with them... you know... in the morgue. That's right,
pancake kidneysfrostbitten. Now I’m groaning...,” I said bitterly in
voice The doctor sat silently and breathed shakily, looking at me. Here
I was overwhelmed even more. I squinted my eyes to my nose and screamed:
“They are trampling on justice here!!!,” and in a toadying voice
I asked the doctor, “is there a cemetery nearby?”
The doctor screamed, drooling:
- Heeeeeeeet!
And I jumped up to him at that moment and howled like a dog.
(it turned out to be a good thrash duet). Then I looked madly at
doctor, who was in a state of stupor. I wanted wildly
grabbed nutekantpona's head from the shelf and said solemnly:
- O poor Epuk, I loved you so much... and so, and so., - with
At this I began to twirl the skull in my hands, then grabbed it from the table
hammer and knocked out the skull's teeth with a crash. Then I enthusiastically
jumped up and blurted out quickly:
“Where is your body storage facility?” and winked
to the interlocutor. Then I turned around and was about to leave, but I heard
wild cry:
- V-O-O-O-N!!!
I also heard the sound of falling instruments and saw a white
like a tile of a doctor lying on the floor with his eyes rolled up.
The doctor just lay there andblended in with the tiles (like Gena the crocodile).
Then I howled wildly like a dog and jumped out into the tiled corridor,
In the course of events, he crept up to the watchman who was chewing pies and grabbed him
barked wildly at the ankle... The watchman squealed heart-rendingly and rushed at
flowed into the dark arches of the corridors...
But my job search didn't end there...
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