Story - How I, Fisher Ilya, entered the university.

──────────────────────────────── ─────────────────────────────────
 So, let's go!

written by Fisher Ilya

             HOW I GOT INTO KDLU
                     or
            GUIDE FOR APPLICANTS.

   It all started just fine. I found out that my
longtime acquaintance Zhenya entered college last year
KDLU (Kyiv State Linguistic Yhibepcitet)
majoring in English and Psychology. What does it have to do with
as it turned out, I enrolled in a free hospital
training and absolutely NO bribes! And since I have
school had problems with all subjects except
ENGLISH, it is not surprising that I decided to enroll in
KDLU for "Zhenina" specialty.
   And the exams didn’t seem to be difficult: ENGLISH
(oral) and UKR.MOVA (dictation).
   On June 25, the first day of accepting documents, I
I went to Kyiv to submit these same documents.
   Finding ourselves on the Kievsky Zh.D.  station, I'm without
I had a hard time finding a trolleybus stop.
After asking local residents, I found out that before KDLU
(or rather, to the street where the university is located)
can be reached by trolleybus "10".
   The conductress showed me my stop and said,
where to go (in general terms).  I'm leaving
trolleybus, I ask some old man how
get to a certain KDLU, the grandfather turned out not to
course.  Then I’ll formulate the question a little differently: “How
get toKrasnoarmeyskaya, 73?" To this grandfather
says that I am still on Krasnoarmeyskaya,
but not 73, but 5, to get to 73 you need
overcome more than one block and besides, you need to go
in the opposite direction from the one she showed me
conductress.  Imagine my condition! Which of these
two people showing off?  And why?  Really
the veteran grandfather suspected me of being a spy and pointed out
wrong way?
   Still, my instinct told me that I needed to follow
Grandfather's plan. ...After 60-80 minutes I found myself at the house
at number 75. Where is 73? I approached two guys
that they were sitting by the fountain, asked about KDLU. I'm satisfied
colorfully described what you need to turn into the alley,
which will lead me straight to the university. I won't
slander those two guys at the fountain, I'll say
simply that they turned out to be Susanins. In general, still
An hour later I finally found the ill-fated university.
   There were crowds of people under the university, mostly
these were wonderful and not so wonderful female applicants,
thirsty for knowledge.  There was also a lot inside
to the people. It’s cool that they made a first aid station at this university,
who needed to certify his medical
card.  Imagine: you enter the building and
you see a red arrow and the inscription “Medical Center”. to you
At first it seems: well, in 1-2 arrows it will be
office door - no, no!  I walked about 12
variousroad signs, and often,
Just imagine, the arrow then led to the 2nd floor, then again
I went down to the first, and the first aid station was on the 0th
floor (underground).
   Well, okay, I certified certificate 086 and went up to
office for receiving documents, took his place in line
specialty, got up and waited.  I feel light here
a touch on the shoulder and a familiar voice: “Hello!”
I turn around and meet my former classmate
To the world.  This meeting turned out to be a surprise and I already
it wasn't so boring standing in line for a chance
enroll...
   A few weeks later I went to KDLU for
consultation.  From this consultation I learned that: 1)
I should pass ENGLISH without problems (since everything is there
verbally - and this is my strong point); 2) You must dial at least
50% marks in the first exam to be admitted
to ENGLISH;  3) If I enroll, then I will have
cheerful dean (An earring for each sister - Kozhniy
svashtsi in kovbastsi, - its analogue of the Russian proverb);
4) During the ENGLISH exam I won’t come across how
my “future” dean promised, such a ticket: “You are lying
on the operating table, you are undergoing surgery on
brain. Describe your feelings..."
   ...In short, after a month of hard preparation at home,
after dozens of dictations written on mobile mobi
(which my sister dictated to me), after dozens
hours of listening to English audio cassettes ESHKO, I
finallyI went to take my first exam - UKR.MOV.
   This time I already knew that at least “the trams don’t run
circles", but still walk "from edge to edge", more
besides - I knew which tram to take and where
drive to get to the university. I got on the tram
No. 10 and began his path to failure in the exam. What
interesting, I’ve already traveled 5-6 times in Kyiv on trams and
There was never any “Line Control”. Therefore, this
once when the conductor passed me, I bought
still a ticket, but since the composter had seats for 8-10
from me, then it was a shame for me to compost it. you,
You probably already guessed that just this time on
the line was the most real control.
Three men quietly approached me from behind, one of
of which he turned out to be the controller, the other two
were security.  My fine was 5 hryvnia! Someone
will say: “Well, Fisher and the brakes!”, and someone may
will add: “And what a one!” I will say that you yourself
like that!
   There were people gathered in the audience where they were writing a dictation.
60, among which there were only 5 guys, all the rest
- girls. This is where I would like to go, it's in
this university!  But, alas, I wrote a dictation as if
not bad, but the next day I found out that I scored 8
points out of 50, that is, I am not allowed to study ENGLISH.
They never showed me my work... My
classmate Sveta was flunked at an interview (she had
there was a gold medal)although I don't know anyone who
I wish I knew ENGLISH better than she does...
   MORAL: Applicant!  If you don't have money but
If you have knowledge, go to technical schools and institutes.
           Entrant!  If you have money
go to the coolest universities!
           Entrant!  Going to university without money,
don't hope for a miracle or miracle, just consider it
brave attempt!
           Entrant! Live and learn!