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By the way, Taras was recently transferred from training to
General Staff of the Defense of Ukraine. He will be a computer scientist there
(a computer scientist - he is also a computer scientist in the army!). Now
he is trained to work on PENTIUM.
Personally, I wish Taras great success, quick
mastering PENTYUKH and all the best!!!
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A R M E Y S K A Y R U B R I K A.
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Decree
-----
From June 2, 1998:
By order of Sovereign Leonid, son of Danila,
give Prince Taras, born in 1978
Hristov, living in the city of Smela, as a recruit
for a period of 548 days.
Cut his head and accept him into the military squad
from June, day 2, year 1998.
And give him food:
27 pounds of bread;
25 pounds of sugar;
94 buckets;
2 pounds of butter.
And therefore give it to him for wear:
2 pairs of tarpaulin boots;
cloth overcoat;
a hat with earflaps and a waist belt.
Voivode of All Ukraine - L.D. Kuchma
* * * * *
Alone in melancholy and sadness,
It hurts me to tears, but I endure it.
And this little book
He will tell you my fate.
The army is a chicken coop
Where everyone tries
Climb higher, throw off your neighborAnd don't give a shit about the bottom one.
Give a soldier a point of support and he will fall asleep,
And if you give him a minute of freedom, he will get drunk.
Served - rejoice,
If you serve, be proud
If you serve, hang yourself.
Good evening or hour,
What are you doing now?
Give up your whole business
And read my letter.
Good afternoon, or maybe evening,
Maybe the morning dawn.
Read and you will find out -
Who sends warm greetings.
There is no healthier man
Who ran to the OZK.
The lights are burning and the candles are melting,
And the days melt away with them.
Anyone who hasn't been in the army doesn't know
How long do they last?
The spirit is a curkul that has nothing,
But he will get everything.
Spirit is a person who
He can't do anything, but he does everything.
We are waiting like the crow was waiting for the cheese,
Order of the Minister of Defense.
Three pairs of boots and a pair of cotton
And you can write on the wall of the DMB.
Happy New Year, I congratulate you
On this day of January, let
Snowflakes of clear sky
They'll kiss you for me.
New Year's Eve has arrived
You go out with friends,
Well, my dear, I will have to
Stand in uniform while on duty.
I ate the butter and the day passed,
Two eggs - a week.
To eat more of this,
So that the whole service flies by?..
I'm ready to give my life
Fora woman named Mother.
The army is the only place
Where the young strives to become old.
I sat here and thought for a long time:
What fool came up with the connection?
The army is a school of destruction.
Morning inspection - the investigation is conducted by experts.
PCB - Thank you for a nice day
If the tower was a bar,
I would have scored on the Beginning. Kara.
E..zero on the second
And through the fence - home.
Warm footcloth,
Porridge is stuck...
Fuck that citizen
She eats in her mouth.
Our demobilization is not coming soon
We walk in parts again,
We walk in the cold and in the cold
And the blood is saturated with sadness.
Don't be sad if something happens
Smile if tears flow.
Anything can happen in life
Days, after all, bring happiness and sorrow.
Blizzards howl over the cadet,
He crawls in the snow, drowning,
And the girl is in another’s bed
He gives his conscience and honor.
A letter has been written - last page
Everything is saturated with tenderness.
But I still can’t sleep until midnight,
Although the orderly gave up a long time ago.
Don't be sad, my dear mother,
May your sleep always be sound.
I wish I could sit next to you,
But forgive me, there is a soldier's law.
Serve as a soldier and don't think
That someone forgot you there:
Friends don't forget a friendAnd whoever forgot was not him.
I remember a wonderful moment -
When I took off my gas mask
And the clean air hit my nose,
And tears flowed from the eyes.
I won't forget this afternoon
And this molten sand.
Oh, how beautiful that nature is,
When the forced march is over!
Learn to laugh if it hurts,
Learn to be sad when it's funny
Learn to appear indifferent
When the heart is not easy.
The trailer started moving
And I jumped into it,
Some spirit gave way to me,
The kicker saluted in fright:
Seen in my shoulder straps
There is also something.
Don't worry, dushara,
You will be a scoop
And only a year will pass -
You will become an old man.
Columbus discovered America
I wanted to open another one, -
Fool, he'd better open it
There's a pub at the checkpoint.
** ** ** ** **
And now - an army tale about Lukomorye.
U L U K O M O R YA.
------------------------
There is a concrete house near the Lukomorye,
Soldiers serve in the house vol.
Day and night the spirit is hungry
Everything goes in circles with a bayonet.
He goes to the right - he prays to God,
To the left - he swears at the service.
There's a lieutenant colonel wandering around drunk
And the sergeant is sitting on the tail.
There on the asphalt paths
Traces of soldiers, not animals.And the foreman walks with a club:
Chasing greyhound demobilization...
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And now we bring to your attention the song DDT
"Autumn" in two versions.
O S E N B (1).
----------------
Soldier's words
music as it was
I
What is autumn - it's demobilization,
I won’t pick up a machine gun.
I will see my mother again, who has waited so long
And a girl loyal to a soldier.
Chorus: Autumn, demobilization, here is the order
We are no longer on the unit's lists.
Somewhere in the company lights out again,
I'm already on my way home.
II
What is autumn - it is will,
The spirit of freedom has wafted from the homeland
I will remember this school of life for a long time,
Where he plowed for so long, but did not sow.
Chorus: the same.
III
What is autumn - is it a memory
About friends I won't see.
I won't be alarmed anymore
And I won’t hear any more jokes.
Chorus: the same.
O S E N B (2).
----------------
words: Soldier's
music: What It Was
I
What is autumn - it's demobilization,
Crying mother at the doorstep.
The shape and patterns are reflected in the puddles
Autumn, I haven't been home for a long time.
Chorus: Autumn, the boys are waiting at home.
Autumn, if only they knewHow long have I been waiting for demobilization?
Autumn, demobilization has arrived.
II
What is autumn - it's booze
At least two months of binge drinking.
Do you remember how they rustled and ran,
The machine guns were pressed to the body.
Chorus: the same.
III
Do you remember how we shared a cigarette?
The crust of bread was divided in half,
We ran for exercises, did long push-ups,
Did you quickly put on your uniform?..
Chorus: the same.
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TO BE CONTINUED...
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WOW!
--------
WARNING! ATTENTION! ACHTUNG!
----------------------------------
At the request of our regular reader and
good friend, KAKTUS (Konstantin Arzhanov),
We publish his cry from the heart.
The bottom line is this: If DENIS reads these lines
SADOSHENKO, then KAKTUS asks Denis to drop a message
and write what he is doing now. Denis, here
KAKTUS's address:
320074
Dnepropetrovsk,
st. Far Eastern 107
Konstantin Arzhanov.
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Now our readers are waiting for 2 works
Igor Milekhin. Both of them are very scary and terrible,
so II wholeheartedly recommend to the faint of heart,
ulcers, teetotalers and other doubtful
individuals should not read these works....
P.S. Igor brought a poem and a story without titles,
that’s why the names are so incomprehensible and obscure (after all
I invented them).
CONFESSION OF A MANIAC.
---------------------
written by
Igor Milekhin
I'm wandering through the alleys
I wander here and there
I walk and cut
Legs of street cats.
All the police can't sleep -
Every day there is a new corpse
The scalpel quickly cuts the veins,
I'm a maniac and I'm not stupid.
And yesterday to one girl
I gouged out my eyes with a fork -
It dripped to the ground for a long time
Blood red tear.
Now no one is afraid of me,
I am the strongest in spirit:
Cut out the living buds -
For me it's just laughter.
I'm wandering through the alleys
I walk here and there
I go and cut my veins
Both passers-by and cats.
Agree that this work is hardly necessary
give children under 16 years of age to read... Is that something that will happen in
next story!..
In the story below, our expert Igor
will tell you about the evil spirits sitting in your computer and
will explain how to deal with it...ALL THE DAMN STUFF.
----------------------
(the manual is recommended for the general public)
written by
Igor Milekhin
Perhaps many have heard about such mysterious and not
always pleasant things, like damage, the evil eye, etc. But not
Many people know that you can speak not only
human, but also a computer.
Let's consider a typical case. An ordinary coder codes
on your computer, unaware of the impending
there is danger above him. Suddenly, completely serviceable
equipment begins to malfunction, in programs
glitches appear (Have you thought why recently
time there are so many buggy programs? - approx.
editor), and, despite all the efforts of the coder, they
is getting bigger and bigger. As a result, the programmer
he drinks himself to death out of grief and commits suicide.
THEY (all kinds of ugly evil spirits) hide floppy disks,
necessary records, randomly played with files, can
even (God forbid) pour tea into the drive.
But the most terrible ones are the Hypnotizing Spirits.
THEY get into computers along with toys and
hypnotize everyone who looks at the screen (And I
I think: why can’t I tear myself away from “Black
Crow"! - Editor's note).
Sometimes you come across such strong manifestations,
that the victim cannot be pulled away from the computer
five people (!). And when someone still succeeds
reach Reset, he(victim) for a long time
shouts obscene words and throws himself at literally everyone,
whatever comes to hand (that’s pretty much how they pulled me away
from "ChV" friends who invited me for a beer - approx.
Editor). This is a consequence of the powerful
parapsychotropic embolism, which in its third
enphase can kill a person.
Now a few words about how to recognize
"damaged" computer. Must be consecrated in church
boxes of green matches (ordinary ones sometimes like
lie). At midnight, take one match and say:
"My computer is completely clean!" Then set it on fire
in front of the monitor. If, after combustion, on the head
matches forms something like a fig or a protruding
middle finger, then complex treatment is necessary.
If the match takes the form of manhood,
then you know: the matter is a pipe. The computer will have you and
Your brain every time you turn it on.
The best treatment method is regular
visiting holy places. Bless all your floppies and
computer. Spray the furniture with holy water. You can
hang a dead three-button mouse over the computer.
Near the windows you should grab a floppy disk pinned
with pins.
To ensure that no one jinxes your computer, there is
a simple and very effective method: as soon as someone
will mention the merits of your miracle of technology -
immediately spit in his eyes.
To get rid of the Drums, you needsecretly
make a clever design like a mousetrap,
put a piece of chocolate there and disguise it among
floppy disks And when, returning home, you see
the trap is triggered, and the floppy disks are untouched, be
We are sure that IT will not appear again.
Finally, I can say that all Evil Spirits
afraid of the smell of alcohol. So, a couple of bottles of beer
before work will save you from many troubles.
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