Miscellaneous - computer jargon: If a hatch suddenly opens, don’t be alarmed, it’s a glitch!

 ┌─────────────────────────────────────┐
   │Section:Miscellaneous;                       │
   │Article:Jargonary;                   │
   │Text: B. Stanislav, V. Alexander.      │
   └─────────────────────────────────────┘

  WARNING:

 I am not the author of the proposed hot
  jargon, I don't use it in commercial
  purposes, I am not responsible for compliance
  respect for copyright, I bear neither
  moral or ethical responsibility
  for the words included in the Jargonary.
   Reprinting, distribution of materials
  Jargon is permitted in any way,
  up to carving with an armor chisel
  on a marble slab. Using math
  Jargonary can be carried out in any
  form and in any way, including use
  in oral speech and official dos-
  documents.
 PROLOGUE

 If the hatch suddenly opens,
                  don't be scared, it's a glitch!



 <1/40, oblique, wide> - typical configuration
                       computer guration.

  <420th model> - 386 processor, 4MB RAM,
                    120MB hard drive.

   - power switch.

   (var. ) -
  according to observations - favoriteanswer without everyone
  exceptions of programs, as well as program-
  tov on the proposal to do something,
  what he doesn't want.
   - normal state
  program or person when he (or
  she) is unable to perceive distance
  the latest information.

   - personal computer, equipment-
            paired with 3.5" and 5.25" flops.

   - refusal to continue
  actions.  After the words "System halted"
  the person usually falls asleep. You can add-
  There are words "divide overflow" in front
  running Big Blue's IBM PC can
  add "nourom bassik"

   -you look at the book and see nothing.

  -=< A >=-

   (var. ) - archi-
  verified file.
    Name: Pronounced:
    zipped zipped
    zOO captive jagged
    married
    polished polished
    LHA elash
    ARJana Arzhanoy
    ARGEvanned ARGEVANNED
    Iced Iced
    ICE ice

  -=< B >=-

   (var. ,,
  , , ) - BBS.

   - one disk from a package of disks.

   -blink.

   - the place where you tripped
  sha program.
   - (var. ,-
  to boot.

   - boot floppy disk.

  -=< B >=-

   - VAX.

   - dot matrix printer.

   (var. , , ,
  ) - HDD.

   is an inexperienced systems engineer.

   - three fingers
  salute, Ctrl-Alt-Del.

   - VGA.
  -=< Г >=-

   - unauthorized exit
                 programs (from Game Over).

   - to gate.

   (var. ) - obviously
  useless software product, for example
  producing only video effects. How
  usually not equipped with any dialogue,
  because it does not require any reasonable
  interventions.

   - the most important thing for-
  the concept of a glitch. That is, she's already done
  does, and there is shine, but here’s your favorite di-
  The programmer usually doesn’t let go of anything
  how. And there are deadlines for delivery to the customer, and all -
  etc.

   - show that the program is working
              nerds.
   - work with console
  I pour in symbolic mode.

   - GNU C.

   - software product,questioning
    Distributed under the GNU license (GNU General
    License). (*AWK bent, DIFF bent.*)

  -=< D >=-

   (down) - state of mind.
       (*That's it, fucked up, I'm down*)

   - DEC.

   - display.

   (var. ) - means
  for destroying bugs (BUGs), debugger.

   - perforation device.
   (var. , ) -
  topology (situation) generating dupes.

   (var. ) - DR-DOS.

   (var. ) - printer,
     (tracing paper from German, why is English worse?).

  -=< E >=-

   - EGA.

  -=< F >=-

   - work with the mouse.

   - hardware.

   - communicate via modem.
  -=< Z >=-

   (var. ) - do
                             file request.

   - demolish the usera.

   - (share) provided
        thread for sharing
         (by programs or users).

   (var. , ) -
                                   dialer

  -=< AND >=-

   - environment variable
  yes (environment variable). - those who worked at thermal
  Videoton can use these
  words in any situation. For example, if
  The kitchen faucet is dripping. (Word to Dezhitsa about-
  wears out with an indispensable emphasis on
  the second syllable - out of respect for the original.

   - send mail to hubs.

  -=< K >=-

   - CGA.

   (var. , ) -
  keyboard

   - kill a process (Unix).

   - kill processes (* Kicked
  all titivai *).

   - compatible.
   (var. , ,
  ) - PC.

   - to connect.

   - Ctrl-break

   - copying (was in its
  time is still on the 'Agatha' program,
  who asked: 'Start copying-
  birth?').

   - copy.

   (var. , ,
  , ) - '@' symbol.

   - Turn off the power to the ma-
  tires.
   - 1). character from the game Moria.
            2). Soviet "mouse". (Have you seen it?
               About the size of an iron).

   - cache memory.

  -=< L >=-

   - laser printer. - to log in.

   - break watch (see pipe-
  pascacal).

  -=< M >=-

   (var. , ) - application program.

   - MS-DOS.
   (var. ) - mother
  board.

   - macro-assembly programmer
  blere.

   - interface.

   - message.

   - mouse driver.

   (var. ) - any device
  with magnetic tape (strimmer, magnetic
  tofon).

   - interference in the terminal or
  lephone line.

   - mouse (* Mouse computer *).
   - Do it. (Request to neighbor-
  doo: "Meikani butable flop!" (Make bootab-
  le floppy)

   (var. ) - letter.

  -=< N >=-

   (var. ) - worker
  on S.

   - no carrier/handshake
  error.

   (var. ) - Netware
  (First met in FIDO).

   - Norton guide.
  -=< O >=-

   (var. ) - introduced
  ryat ACS.

   (var. ) floppy disk - make
  Make the floppy disk bootable.

   - RAM.

   -fix, bypass, bypass
  yeah, patch it up.

   - give to a neighboring postal service
  knot - let it lie there now...

   - see .

  -=< P >=-

   (var. ) - done
  no poll.
   (var. ) - work-
  nickname in pascal.

   is a program in Pascal.

   - to reboot.

   - printer.

   - RS - compatible personal
             computer.

   - lining for the mouse (mouse
                                     pad).

   - leave so-
  communication in Hold for someone.

   (var. ) - print
  chat.

   (var. ) - map.
   - 1). send a file or letter.
  ("Let's ask Microsoft to kick us using-
  Windows walkers")
            2). restart the machine (to
                The correct translation is to boot.

   (var. , , ,
  ,  - (about the car) situation-
  tion when the car does not react to any
  any external stimuli, with the exception of
  'RESET' buttons.

   (var. , ) -
  erase files, formatcompletely.

   - delete. Very wide
  concept, used to denote
  operations of deleting anything.

   - kill the command process
  doy kill - BUS (Unix).
   - a powerful device in co-
  middle organization, creating interference in
  electrical network. (If the system crashes in
  as a result of a power roll: "Again
  in... the plug was turned on!").

   - ... (I hope You unders
                                    tood.)

  -=< P >=-

   - hacker capable of reviving
  hopelessly deceased car, despite
  all her resistance.

   - a state of complete bo-
  her readiness to run somewhere, something
  do, and generally produce some kind of
  actions. (From the screensaver popular in its
  e time toys Mach 3).

   - ROM.
   - when the program collapses-
  is based on core dumped.

  -=< C >=-

   - (main) scoundrel in all without
  exceptions are toys.

   - hardware from Sun Microsys-
  tems Computer Corporation.

   - Sun Microsys employees -
  themes.

   - pour from empty to empty
  Better yet, hide it away. (What... my
  Did you take the slippers off?).

   - CD-ROM.

   (var.,) - Sys-
  tem Operator, sysop.
   - perform the duties of a syso-
  pa.

   - to backup.

   - delete uncollected items for the month
  mail.

   - i80x87.

   - software.

   - server.

   - streamer.

   - dedicated lines sometimes knock
  they hate it.

  -=< T >=-

   - pour something somewhere with a tar
                                 (Unix).
   - keyboard (tracing paper from Italian)
  Jansky).

   - work on
  keyboard.

   - everything that hesitates.

   - 1). have trouble thinking.
                2). spend time playing
                  play computer games.

   - broadcast.

   - a variant of Turbopascal
        (there is such a buggy program).

  -=< У >=-

   have UNIX (and we have Demos).

   - DBMS UNIFY (UNIX).
   - user.

  -=< Ф >=-

   is a popular explanation for
  unexpectedly started working machine or
  program that suddenly came to life and was accepted
  was willing to do what was required of her.


   - file.

   (var. ) - osta -
  update your computer(On Unix there is a command
  FASthalt).   "Packer!"  - abusive
  programmers' word, applied to
  to an engineer when he is at the end of the working day
  comes to turn off the computer.

   (var. ) - unexpected,
  causing surprise to the programmer,
  the action of his own program, which
  something he (by God!) did not program
  and about which I had no idea before that
  cop.
  (Usually occurs during general
  testing or during demonstration
  to the customer).

   - fidonet.

   (var. ) - file, file.

   (var.  , ,
  , , ) - FDD.

   (var.) - MS Windows.

   - 1). program that allows you to quickly
     copy the screen image to a file.
            2). packager program
                                 (freeze).
  -=< X >=-

   - IBM PC/XT.

   - hub.

   - sysop hubla.

   - high density floppy.

   (var. , ,
  ) - to edit or fix something
  write programs (hacker ones :-).

   - OS Xenix.

   - HewlettPackard.

  -=< C >=-

   - 'C' language (you can speak Tse language).
  -=< H >=-

   - unsuccessful session
  mail exchange in UUPC.

   - daemon (Unix).

  -=< Ш >=-

   - share violation.

   - to shell.

   - dependent state
  our modem, which does not want to put
  phone, and the station will receive beeps for an hour already
  for carrier.

   - data transmission via se-
  connection (Bad hosing!)
  -=< E >=-

   - go somewhere or something
  take via FTP.

  -=< Yu >=-

  -=< I >=-

   - EGA.


 -= F O L C L O R =-

 1. Good User - Dead User!

    2. IBM is a small American company,
       producing peripherals for EU computers.

    3. Motorola is a manufacturing company
       controllers for scooters.
    4. BASIC - BASIC programming language
                for the computer "Irisha".

    5. "In the wilds of the network file system
        Somehow a young hacker got lost,
        All the symlinks and symlinks are on the way,
        And he can’t find his way back...."
             (P.S. Credit goes to
             Volodya Petrov )

    6. TURBO - 1).button on IBM PC/AT,
      which completely deprives you of the possibility -
      to be able to see something on the locator
      near view.
               2). "slow" button.

    7. WINCHESTER - a disk that does not hang
      no, even if you smoke near him
      pack of Belomor. Domestic name
      nie - "BERDAN".
    8. UTILITY - general name for old
         programs that are a pity to throw away.

    9. MEGABYTE - American name
         kilobyte.

   10. LINKER - some kind of utility in many ways
      different operating systems.  They say
      that he can’t connect two words, no
      talking about kilobytes!

   11. HACKER - lumberjack, forest orderly.
      After his work, only
      the most persistent instances of operational
      nal systems.

   12. Favorite question for beginner users:
      telev: "Where is the key
      'Any key'?"

   13. Question after the lecture about the device
      and the work of the hard drive: “And yet I
      I don’t understand how it has bits on it
      don't mix?!"

   14. Don’t quit Norton by rebooting
      - It hurts him.

   15. Press any key translate: click on
      your favorite button (option - on
      trigger)

   16. "To exit to the menu, press the key
       Reset".

   17. Love for beer is love for beer,
      this is something pure and bright, like a circle
      ka kvass after the bath.  Has nowho has anything to do with programming?
       (The screensaver of one of the Moscow baby
      juice). (The phrase belongs to Andrey Rad-
      Chenko.)
   18. - Hanging...
       - We don't hang.
       - We're hanging!
       - We’re not hanging, I say - we’re jumping with a disk -
         no!

   19. “Ega no egit” - visual interference
       on the display.

   20. Example of using the design
       if-else language "tse":
       ...
         if(masha > 18) {
           taxi(gastronom);
           gastronom(bottle);
           taxi(masha);
         }
         else if(vera == home)
           taxi(vera);
         else
           walk(home);
       ...
   21. The Tale of the Fisherman and the Fish (Unfinished-
       fairy tale)

       Once upon a time there lived an Old Man and an Old Woman
       Right next to the machine room
       The old man was mining the periphery
       The old woman wrote the drivers
       They lived with a dilapidated terminal
       Exactly five years and two years.

       Once the Old Man went to Europe
       There he cast his nets -
       Pulled out old HANDBOOKS
       Another time he threw his nets -
       Pulled out the FAIL tapes
       For the third time he cast his nets -
       Lo and behold, there’s a goldfish in the nets
       Her scales are integrated
       The tail says "MERA"
       How the Goldfish prayed
       Says to the Old Man in Fortran:
       "Let me go
                    older
                          in peace
       To native multiplex channels
       RichI will give a ransom for myself -
       I'll complete it with whatever you want"
       The old man was frightened and surprised
       He has never seen such a miracle
       He said: "Give me some software
       We have nothing"
       “No problem,” the fish answered him
       She waved her tail
       And she dove into the deep end.

       The Old Man Returned with a Hand Execution
       Told the Old Woman about this miracle
       The old woman got angry and quarreled
       You fool, you're a simpleton
       How much use is there in an executor?
       I don't want to run programs under it
       Go fool to your fish
       Ask for operating system
       The old man returned to Europe
       (There was a FAIL on the tape)
       He approached the modem and said:
       "Where are you, goldfish?"
       A goldfish swam to him,
                                 asked:
       "What do you want, old man?"
       The Old Man answers her with a bow:
       "Have mercy, lady fish,
       The old woman scolded me
       Doesn't want to work under an exec
       Give her the operating system"
       The goldfish answers:
       "Don't be sad, go with God"
       The Old Man returned to the Old Woman
       Lo and behold, she’s sitting at the monitor
       Looks like a supervisor
       The editor makes a mess
       There is a cuckoo timer on the screen
       A planner wanders around the yard
       Drives tasks to the machine
       The gate is locked with a password
       On the sidelinesfile memory
       And at the entrance there is a dumper with a mallet.

       How the Old Woman saw the Old Man -
       I quarreled worse SYSTEM MESSAGE:
       "You fool, you simpleton.
       I begged the fool for OS,
       I don't want to be a systems programmer
       Tom!?

       I want to do whatever my heart desires
       So as not to mess with the assembler
       And write in pure PASCAL
       Various beautiful things."

       So the Old Man wandered off to Europe again
       Sees - on machines SYSTEM ERROR
       He approaches the modem and calls
       A goldfish swam:
       "What do you want, old man?"
       The Old Man answers her with a bow:
       "Have mercy, lady fish,
       The old woman will get nervous again
       Doesn't want to work in software
       And he wants to be a freelance programmer
       To completely forget about assembler
       And write in pure PASCAL"
       The goldfish answers:
       "Don't be sad, go with God"

       The Old Man returned to the Old Woman
       Lo and behold, there’s a software group at the VC
       The old woman writes preprocessors
       Offers utilities with a bow
       She beats them and pulls them by their beards
       Requires a new compiler
       The Old Man says to his Old Woman:
       “Well, is your darling happy now?”
       The old woman did not look at him -
       Sent to test the tapes

       One week goes by, another goes by
       The old woman got even more furious than before
       Calls the Old Man and says:"I don't want to be a free programmer,
       And I want to set tasks
       Don't pore over the terminal all day -
       Write any algorithms
       Anything I wish for."

       Here the Old Man was completely amazed:
       “What are you, woman, have you eaten too much henbane?
       You don’t understand anything about tasks
       You'll be a source of fun for the whole system."
       Here the Old Woman stamped her feet
       Faithful servants came running
       The Old Man was sent on a business trip.

       The old man returned to Europe
       (System drives failed)
       He began to click on the goldfish
       A fish swam to him and asked:
       "What do you want, old man?"
       The Old Man answers her with a bow:
       "Have mercy, lady fish,
       There is no life from the damned Old Woman,
       He really doesn’t want to be a free programmer.
       stoma!?
       He only wants to set tasks
       Whatever her darling wants"
       The fish answers the old man:
       "Don't be sad, go with God
       She will be good to set tasks"
       The Old Man returned and was amazed
       His Old Woman is sitting in his office
       There are mathematicians and programmers around
       Bank relational they write to her
       Carry overseas packages
       Adapted on our machines
       And the Old Woman makes requests
       In the most simplified format
       Boyars and nobles are sitting nearby
       Discuss the contours of the system.

       How the Old Woman saw the Old Man -
       She frowned menacingly and said:"Go quickly to the fish
       I don't want to know about formats
       And give the car commands
       I want to communicate by voice and whistle
       Whatever I think, let him do it
       And so that your fish serves me
       And I would have it for transactions"

                    -==-

   22. Remember! Each illegal copy -
       an extra nail in the coffin of capitalism.

   23. By multiplying your knowledge, you multiply someone else’s
       then sorrow.

   24. It’s better to poke around with a debugger in someone else’s
       code than with your finger in your own
       ass

   25. Don’t keep them open at the same time.
       door on the drive and windows on the
       minale - a draft will blow you off the chair.

   26. The best way to learn programming
       novation - take a disassembler and build
       watch how others do it.
   27. Who is capable of little dirty tricks,
       he is capable of great feats.

   28. Riddle: Who works for VAXe?
       (Answer: Boots)

   29. Riddle: Where is Pushkin A.S. mention-
       there is a service problem
       local networks unqualified
       staff? (Answer: "They came running
       children come to the hut, in a hurry they call their father:
       - Dad, dad brought our nets
       dead man.")

   30. Diagnosis: Strangled by a cable.
       Moral: Don't touch the equipment and it's the same
        I won't let you down.
       Summary: If you don’t know what
        to do - read the instructions.

   31. Everyone you don’t ask -Programmed in C
       Today you will hardly meet
       Those who write in Pascal.

   32. Overheard conversation:
       - What is the interface of your program?
         mmm?
       - Same as in UNIX OS!
       - Ah... I see. That means none.

   33. “An error is not an error, but a system one.”
       function!"

   34. - Question: What do computers have in common?
         and penis?"
       - Answer: "Both have two stable
         condition.

   35. Programming (like love) -
       just one word, but behind it
       there are many activities hidden.

   36. A programmer is not a profession, it is
       - diagnosis.
   37. Soft * 10E-06 = Microsoft. (Then:
       American + trend * 10E06 = American
       Megatrend)

   38. It’s as easy as sending two bytes.

   40. A popular name is a name that
      which is used at least
      another guy besides me.

   41. The place of a mouse is a barn.

   42. The heroine from a scary fairy tale with good
      the bottom line is Baba EGA. (End,
      of course it was meant in a fairy tale,
      because Baba EGA - she is, although the adapter is
      he.)

   43. C in K&R Standard - Old Testament.
       C in ANSI standard - New Testament.
       A bunch of books and manuals on C -
       The Gospels, each of which interprets
       K&R has its own way.
       The Canonical Gospel - a book on
       With which there are no errors in the examples.
       Non-canonicalThe Gospel is the opposite.
       Books on C from White Group - current
       Seventh-day Adventists.
       The calculator example is canon, and Je-
       Khani is his prophet.

   44. An old veteran standing in line at
       store, swears:
       - We got divorced, here, you know, everything -
       brokers, hackers, in stores
       you won't buy anything.

   45. Memories about one book: talk-
       they say that it was released at one time
       such a book: “Everything about automated control systems.” (How
       rule when pronouncing the letter C
       stretches by itself).

   46. After pay Stirlitz recalculates
       Reichsmark:
       - 1022.. 1023.. 1024.
       - KB MEMORY GOOD - thought Stirlitz.

   47. Scary news about viruses:
       "Mighty Mouse"
       "Recently in the neighboring sharaga vi-
       Rus appeared - reprograms
       COM-port so that the mouse is on the table
       starts to ride! "

       "Falling Letters"
       "Just recently... - reprogrammed -
       e CRT controller so that
       The character generator spills out onto the table."

       "Hot key"
       "Just recently... - reprogrammed -
       no keyboard so hot key
       gets red hot and shoots at
       operator's forehead. There is a case of death
       positive outcome."

   48. Poem about the virus:
       Scoundrel Poltoraki enters the entrance
       A cigarette is quietly smoldering in your teeth.
       He insidiously brings the fourth King
       QuestOn my three-inch floppy disk.

       Innocent is pleased with his fate,
       He does not sense a dangerous trap,
       He doesn't see how the virus is villainous
       a crowd enters the car with a toy
       ki.

       He boards Norton and Command
       com.
       Spares neither Quick-C nor Turbines;
       Poltoraki is watching, hiding behind the corner.
       crowbar after the invasion of vile cattle.

       The chimes struck 17:00,
       Innokenty collects floppy disks,
       The vile virus, sensing itself like a co-
       the role of "Yankee Doodle" is played cynically.
       The entire hard drive is defeated, the computer
       Innokenty is silent, wandering somewhere,
       In the sky the black raven slurs we-
       chit, carrying a floppy disk in its beak.

       Poltoraki shouts: “I didn’t want that”
       Innocent does not listen to him.
       He is calm, he presses Ctrl-Alt-Del
       He presses with his firm hand.

   49. Innocent is trying to pinpoint
       ku, or maybe two on video
       VGA adapter.

       Innokenty looks at the VGA display,
       Attracted by the richness of the palette.
       My leg got tired from the seat within a day,
       And my stomach wants half a liter.

       The screen will go dark, then suddenly it will become
       blink,
       There is no end in sight for bullying.
       Only I can’t see the desired point
       Yes, Innokenty is very offended.

       He remembers with longing his native DC,
       Where everything is simple, clear and sweet.
       Instead of creepyprograms in 11K
       A dozen teams would be enough there.

       Innokenty at TechHelp is doomed
       looks
       Wanders in the labyrinths of registers,
       And the screen still stupidly ripples
       And the mode does not turn on at all.

       Innocent to murder morally
       Comrade, he exclaims loudly: “Beast”
       And over the vile creation of overseas
       He hits his enemies with a big club.

       His gaze is motionless, mad and dumb
       And it doesn't bode well.
       Black raven with a nasty IBM brand
       Pieces fly out of the window.
   50. If your program is broadcast
       went through without errors, tell the system about it
       to the dark programmer - he will fix it
       an error in the translator.

   51. “Again the car fell under the mailer...”

   52. "This is not a bug - it's a feature."
        ( feature :) - correct reaction
        for mistakes...

   53. A fairy tale about a programmer.

       THIS TALE WILL BE PUBLISHED IN
       NEXT ISSUE.

 * * *