Humor - Instructions for toilet paper.

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                   HUMOR
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      Hello to all Speccy fans!

   We are pleased to welcome you to our
a new, but probably not permanent, column.
   Today we bring to your attention,
story / if you can call it that /
dug up / from the depths of the Russian land /
Ariel and edited by me.

               Instructions.

   According to purpose, operating conditions and
technical characteristics of the toilet
paper.
   Toilet paper (item number:
4863114655163654 ), hereinafter referred to as the product,
intended for removing residues
process of defecation from the outer edge
anal opening adjacent to
on skin areas and locally
concentrated on a given area of the body
hairline, hereinafter the place
use.

               Application:

   1. Please read this document carefully
instructions.  The instructions should be
secured with M6 screws in an easily accessible and
well-lit place, in a straight line
user visibility.
   2. Place the product roll on a level
user's chest in horizontal
position
   3. Perform an act of defecation.
   4. Ensure the successful completion of the act
and in the absence of urges to continue it
(this point is important for saving and
rational use of the product).
   5. Direct forward movement
right hand down, grab the tip (
products ) beyond the break line, sharp
moving up and to the right at an angle of 60
degrees to the centerline of the roll pull,
thus rewinding 700 mm. products. For
user convenience every 100 mm.
marked with perforations.
   6. Multidirectional movements of the hands in
create a gap in the horizontal plane
tapes in the middle, between the two nearest ones
perforation lines.

               Note:

   - it is not recommended to tear
products at the perforation site due to
danger of damage and deformation
surface layer of fibrous structure
product material.

   7. Fold the separate part in the form
accordions (accordion), sequentially bending
it according to the perforation areas, transferring
product in working form, receive the product
number 2.
   8. Transfer to the hand that is most comfortable
for use.
   9. Obtained during the described
manipulations, attach product number 2 to
place of use and, pressing tightly to
skin, make
sequential movement from top to bottom in
intergluteal space.
   10. After placing the used product in
field of view, in good conditions
visibility, inspect the existing smear for
subject of detection of helminth eggs or
signs of pediculosis.
   In casedetecting such dial 03
and notify the relevant
local sanitary and medical service
residence. Otherwise, repeat
points 4-9 three to four times.
   11. Check with a clean, dry hand
quality of cleaning, intergluteal
the space should be dry to the touch,
slightly rusty, the edges of the anus
holes are well rubbed, hairy
the cover is fluffy, easily accessible to
combing.
   In case of poor quality
rubbing (residues, sharp specific
smell when sniffing, etc.) carry out
manipulations described in paragraphs 4-9 more 3-4
times.

         Precautions:

   1.Do not smoke near the product.
   2.Do not leave the used product in
places of culture, recreation and food.
   3. Keep away from children; toilet paper -
not a toy, but a hygiene product.
   4. ATTENTION!!!
     Repeated use of the product is not
recommended!

 Well that's all! Share if you want
impressions, then write! Editorial address
at the very end!!!

                            Ariel &
                      Always your Atom.