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(c) М.Жванецкий ░░░░ █▓
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М И Ш А В Е Р Н У Л С Я
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ПЕРВЫЙ. О-го-го! Кого я вижу?Misha has arrived! Where were you?
OH. Abroad.
FIRST. Tourist?
OH. Tourist.
FIRST. Which country?
OH. In Austria.
FIRST. Well, tell me quickly.
OH. So it is. We were met at the train station in Vienna. But in Vienna
they didn’t linger. On the bus - and across the country. Fifteen thousand
kilometers on the bus. Everyone saw it. We were in Tyrol. In Innsbruck
watched the Olympic buildings. We saw real Tyroleans in
uniforms and hats. Beautiful country. The Alps look like they were painted. B
snow. From above, skiers in multi-colored suits... Shhhhhhhhh...
Lots of tourists. They bring in a lot of income, you know! Was in Ve-
not at Strauss's grave. He's with a violin. And in the Vienna Woods wild ca-
bans.
SECOND. Misha, hello! Have you arrived? Where were you?
OH. In Austria.
SECOND.Well, tell me in order.
OH. We were met at the train station in Vienna. We drove around the country in a car
bead. One and a half thousand kilometers. We were in Graz, Linz, Innsbruck.
We examined the places where the Olympics took place. Tyroleans in uniforms
hats. The Alps are as if painted, covered in snow. Skis fly off from above
nicknames in ski suits, on skis. Shy, shi, shi. Lots of tourists.
They bring in huge income. In Vienna, Strauss' grave with a violin.
There are wild boars in the Vienna Woods.
THIRD. Who do I see? Misha! Where?
OH. From Austria.
THIRD. Well, tell me.
HE (clears throat).What can I tell you! We met. They imprisoned
to the bus. We dragged one and a half thousand kilometers. It's stuffy.
THIRD. Where were you?
OH. Well, where. Well, in Graz, in Linz, in Innsbruck and that’s it.
THIRD. Where were the Olympics?
OH. Wasn't thereOlympics.
THIRD. How did I read?!
OH. Error. I asked there. Everyone says there was a mistake.
THIRD. A beautiful country?
OH. So-so.
THIRD. Are there many tourists?
OH. No one is there.
THIRD. They also generate income.
OH. Nonsense. At first they thought so, until they calculated it. It turned out
only expenses.
THIRD. What about Vienna?
OH. What about Vienna? Just think, Vienna! Well, what about Vienna? What about Vienna?...
THIRD. Nothing...
OH. Well, that's all. And there is nothing to say!
THIRD. And the Vienna Woods. Are there wild boars?
HE. Extinct. Yearning.
THIRD. And the Alps? Alpine skiers?
OH. Everyone crashed. It became quiet.
FOURTH.Look who's arrived?! Bear, where have you been?
OH. In Austria.
FOURTH. Well, tell me.
OH. Nothing to tell!
FOURTH. Interesting.
OH. What's interesting there. We met. They put us on a bus. And you-
one thousand five hundred kilometers along the stones. All!
FOURTH. How is everything? What did you see?
OH. I didn’t see anything!
FOURTH. Like nothing?
OH. And so. Got sick.
FOURTH. And whenrecovered?
OH. Not recovered! All one thousand five hundred kilometers, like a curse
he lay in the corner of the bus and moaned.
FOURTH. Poor guy. It was worth going to Austria.
OH. Here, here. There was no point in trying. I went...
FIFTH. Girls! The bear is back. Well, how is it in Austria?
OH. Which Austria?
FIFTH. Well, in the country...
OH. Is there such a country?
FIFTH. Well, yes...
OH. I've never heard of it.
FIFTH. Where did you go?
OH. To Kamenets-Podolsk. Tell?
FIFTH. No need. I thought you were in Austria.
OH. Everyone thought so. And I was inKamenets-Podolsk with my aunt.
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