test - are you a sexual maniac?

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 (c) Daniil Shepovalov, The Greatest Humanist of All Times and Peoples

Are you a sexual maniac?

I have no doubt that you are a maniac.  The only question is:
Is it sexy?

Who (or what) do you think had the greatest influence on your
sexual formation?
1. Pokemon Pikachu. - 1 point.
2. Aunt Tanya from the program “Good night, kids!” - 2 points.
3. The liner from
   chewing gum "Beach girls". - 3 points.
4. Mad scientist mutant with twenty-six creeper members
   from the Japanese cartoon "Piercing Through". - 8 points.

Your favorite drink:
1. Lemonade "Pinocchio". - 0 points.
2. Cocktail “Awesome Orgasm”. - 1 point.
3. Elegante coffee, brewed from the core of selected beans
   harvest of 1925, in which the Sioux Indian died.
   - 3 points.

During sex with a beautiful girl, you think about:
1. Sex with a beautiful girl...you think I havenever happened
   sex with a beautiful girl? And in general you think that I have
   never had sex? Well, yes, it wasn’t! - 1 point.
2. My thoughts: “Please, don’t fall for at least a couple more minutes.
   Damn, we're going to screw this up now.  Oh-oh-oh no, not this!!!
   Still, two bottles of vodka for a romantic evening is
   a little too much." - 0 points.
3. I wonder why she wore a dildo with spikes on the end - to me
   it hurts! - 3 points.
4. When I have sex with girls, I imagine hairy legs.
   David Copperfield. A-ah, how this turns me on! - 2 points.

During sex with a handsome young man, you think about:
1. What did you say? Get away from me, you faggot!!! Vasya, come on
   Give me that reinforcement bar over there. - 0 points.
2. About love, what else! And how in the morning I will wake this one up
   sweet young man with a tender kiss. - 1 point.
3. “Wah, genatsvale, what a dirty butt you still have,
   just like my old donkey!” - 4 points.
4. I think it’s time to bury it already, otherwise the whole apartment
   stinks... - 4 points.

Have you ever put people in an awkward position?
1. Come on, never! I am a very decent young man. - 0 points.
2. Of course! It happened when you put a person in an awkward position and
   give it... - 2 points.
3. Once in a restaurant I was tellingfriends about something new, recently
   the method of masturbation I discovered. I probably shouldn't have
   still so animatedly make characteristic gestures with your hand
   reciprocating movements and shouting "Like clockwork,
   guys, like clockwork!"... - 3 points.

How many sexual partners have you had?
1. Mmmm... - 2 points.
2. At the age of sixteen I had already slept with three young girls
   girls and one adult female dentist. - 0 points.
3. I have three flight attendants, two sea captains,
   one dead ballerina, eighteen hamsters, four sea
   pigs, sixty manual expanders, two AIBO robot dogs,
   forty-four pine hollows and thirteen Britney posters
   Spears. - 10 points.

Name the most unusual place where you promoted a girl to
sex.
1. Toilet of the Udarnik cinema. - 1 point.
2. Dog kennel. - 2 points.
3. Mausoleum named after. V.I. Lenin. - 3 points.
4. The reactor of a nuclear submarine located off the coast
   Antarctica. - 3 points.

Your cherished dream:
1. Live on MuzTV, hit Sasha in the face with a baseball bat
   Pryanikov. - 1 point.
2. Fart into a microphone on the stage of the Kremlin Palace of Congresses. - 2points.
3. Write a program for docking orbital stations in open
   space, and then masturbate in front of the TV while
   live broadcast of this process. - 10 points.
4. Buy a six-teat milking machine "Burenka-Turbo" and
   connect to it every night with all parts of the body on
   maximum milking speed. - 6 points.

 [RESULTS]

From 3 to 7 points: Dude, you are a worthy member of society.
You collect postage stamps, wear glasses with centimeter lenses
thickness and you give up your seat to grandmothers on public transport.
In a year, you'll be deflowered at a high school reunion.
a classmate who's drinking in her tits and you'll finally get on the slippery
the path of sexual promiscuity. 

From 8 to 19 points: You know about a thousand addresses by heart
porn sites.  But will your girl, whom you already
the second month you persuade him to “touch it with your hand.” No, not yet
you're not a sexual maniac, but in a year or two you'll get hardcore
porn with elements of zoo- and necrophilia will take first place
your hit parade. So tell your girl what she's got
good reason for thought. Give it up, dude!

From 20 to 40 points: Endless masturbation in youth brought
your fruits - nothing can satisfy you anymore. You
tried iteverything: sex with robots, UFO pilots and dead people
fur seals.  Useless - you'll never achieve again
that divine orgasm that visited you during
masturbation in literature class in seventh grade.

From 41 to 44 points: “What a monster, shit and pervert I am!”
- it's about you. If it were up to you, you would turn into twenty
eight billion infinite members and would smash them to pieces
planet Earth and all its inhabitants. Do you know what is to blame?
Remember, you were fourteen years old and you finally seduced that
cute pioneer leader... I remember, right? Well, of course, if
she then, in a fit of passion, did not grab the exposed wire under
tension, you would be a normal person now.