let's laugh? - Diary of a BBS user.

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Evgeny Gagaev 

                        User's diary

July 18. I tried calling bbs. I heard it's very
interesting and entertaining. I can't connect. I don't know what
I'm doing it wrong.

July 19.  one of the computer store workers told me,
that I need a modem. I don't know why. they probably want me
pin. Do they think I don’t understand anything, or what?

July 22.  I bought a modem.  I don't know how it works. he doesn't
Connects neither to a monitor nor to a printer.

July 23.  finally the modem is connected. neighbors son (he is nine years old)
did this for me.  but the modem still doesn't work. I can't
contact bbs.

July 25. this neighbor's nine-year-old son brought me programs.
he's so smart.  he's smarter than these guys anyway
computer store that sold me a modem. they don't even
they told me that in order to make calls using a modem, I need special
programs. I'm sure they don't know this. I wonder why
the back wall of the modem has two telephone connectors, when you only need
alone?  and why does it say phone?  I still can't
connect it to the telephone socket on the wall. I think the sound
modemvery cool!  however, the neighbors came running in response to the noise.
the neighbor's son said that you can turn off the sound.

July 26.  What is the Internet? I thought it was the internet and bbs
one and the same. I'm confused.

July 27.   the neighbor's nine-year-old son showed me how
use a terminal.  I told him that he must be
genius if he understands all this. he said he was a genius at
compared to me. maybe he's lying.

July 28.  I tried to chat today. I tried to speak in
computer, but nothing happened.  I should probably buy it
microphone.

July 29. I found such a thing as conferences! amazing.

July 30. these people use capital letters in conferences. how
do they succeed?  I never understood how to type
capital letters. They probably have a different keyboard.

JULY 31.  I CALLED THE STORE WHERE I PURCHASED THE COMPUTER TO
COMPLAIN THAT I DON'T HAVE CAPITAL KEYS. ME
THEY SAID THAT YOU NEED TO PRESS CAPS LOCK. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME IMMEDIATELY?
ABOUT THIS?!  I TOLD THEM I HAD THE WRONG KEYBOARD. I
SAID I HAVE ONE SHIFT KEY MORE THAN THE OTHER. THEY
THEY SAID THIS IS THE STANDARD. I SAID I DON'T WANT STANDARD
KEYBOARD, I WANT THE RIGHT KEYBOARD. IT'S OBVIOUS THAT I
TOLD THEM IT WAS VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THE WHOLE DEPARTMENT GATHERED
TECH SUPPORT TO LISTEN TO MY CALL.

1AUGUST.  I FOUND ECHO SU.CHAINIK. THEY TOLD ME THAT I COULD
GET ANSWERS TO ALL YOUR QUESTIONS. I SENT 44 QUESTIONS THERE
ABOUT COMPUTERS AND THE INTERNET. I HOPE TO RECEIVE AN ANSWER SOON.

AUGUST 2.  I FOUND AN ECHO CALLED RU.ANEKDOT.  I DECIDED
POST THERE A JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT LAID... HA! I
I JUST WAS NOT SURE THAT THE LETTER WAS SENT CORRECTLY, SO I
SENT IT ANOTHER 56 TIMES.

AUGUST 3. I KEEP HEARING ABOUT SOME WORLD WIDE WEB. I
I NEVER THOUGHT SPIDERS COULD BE SO HEALTHY...

4 AUGUST. THE MODERATOR ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS IN SU.CHAINIK. ANSWERS
THEY WERE VERY POLITE. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I WROTE EVERYTHING I WAS
I THINK ABOUT HIM, IN THE ECHO. I WAS NOT SURE THAT THE LETTER WAS SENT, AND TO
ANY OCCASION SENT HIM ANOTHER 22 TIMES.

AUGUST 5.  SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. DON'T THEY KNOW
WHAT FAQ ARE WRITING ONLY FOR STUPID PEOPLE?

AUGUST 6. SOMEONE TOLD ME TO STOP YELLING AT EVERY
LETTER.  JERK.  I'M NOT SCREAMING!  I DON'T TALK AT ALL! I
PRINTING. HOW ONLY ARE SUCH RUDES ALLOWED ON THE NETWORK.

August 7.  Why do you need a Caps Lock button if you can't have one?
press?  I should have bought a keyboard without this key. She would
was cheaper.

August 8.  I received a letter about how you can earn a lot
money!  I'm delighted.  I'll make a lot of money. I have completed everything
instructions, added my name at the end and sent a letter to each
echo thatI was able to find it.

August 9.  I finished creating a template for my letters. He took
only six kilobytes. Needs a little more work on it...

August 10. I read in some echo that lamers must die.
I read several letters and realized that the lamers should be erased
from the face of the earth. All that remains is to find out who the lamers are.

August 11.  I asked where I can get the latest version
Tetris.  One guy told me that I need to frack at the address
2:50**/****. I searched but didn't find such a conference.

August 12.  I asked in all the echoes what fracking is. I don't
I can ask the neighbor's son what this means. Parents don't
they let him visit me more. They say that every time
returning from me, he laughs incessantly, so that he cannot
no eating, no sleeping, no homework.  I don't know what's in it
funny.  I probably have a bad sense of humor. IN RU.ANEKDOT
For some reason I didn’t like my joke about the chicken. They probably
They only love jokes about Rzhevsky. I received many replies to
my letter about a chicken, but there were only @#$%^ symbols, and
one letter from the moderator, but there was nothing in it either
written, only [+].

August 13.  I sent another letter to each echo, asking,
what is fracking and where is 2:50**/**** located. I forgot yesterday
use my new template, it only takes eight
kilobyte I think,that everyone will be interested in knowing my beloved
song from Titanic, so I included it in the template. Me too
I think I’ll add five more tims that I came up with yesterday to those
ten that I decided to join.

August 14.  I can't get on the BBS.  Sysop left me
message telling me not to call his station anymore :(

August 15.  I found out that there is also a BBS in the city! On them too
you can call...