White_parrot - Programmer_wife-3

 Notes from a programmer's wife        
              (continued)              
                                         
CopyrigHt(e) 2000 Alex Axler          
                      http://WWW.exler.ru
-----------------------------------------
   There was only a month left before the wedding, and   
around me there is still no one even  
itched. Dad, however, immediately stated
fork that he is ready to provide the necessary 
material assistance (pronouncing
these pompous words, daddy pouted,  
like a stratospheric balloon before takeoff), but the control
the process should be carried out exclusively by me  
groom At first I was really angry with him,
because daddy is incredibly active    
a polite and energetic person, and he is organ-
to organize some kind of wedding is the job of five mi-
chickpeas, but then came to the conclusion that he, in 
Essentially, absolutely right. I'm not for pa-
I'm marrying the bullet, but Sergei, that's why
I’d rather see everything myself before the wedding than 
after it. What, you ask, Sergey?..  
my husband's application process
nia caused such a loss of strength that he was already  
for almost two months he has been walking around in a tired state. 
waiting and the process of preparing for the wedding 
doesn't want to hear anything. More precisely - hear-  
wants to roam, but does not want to do anything. 
No, he’s not hiding from me, and even vice versa.
mouth - got into the habit of getting sick a couple of times a week  
come over for dinner (of course, after it  
chips withmamulka's chic dinners with beer 
- this is something fantastic), but no  
does not take active steps.      
   To be honest, I don’t even know what anymore   
should I do. It feels like the guy  
the spring factory ended all at once, but what about it?
start it again - I don't know. Offer he
I made it myself, I got my hands from my parents    
I asked myself, and then stop the car. On 
I almost forgot about submitting an application. 
I pulled out my hair, and now it’s starting
this wedding rigmarole. What, again to me 
kick him on every issue? After all      
getting married is not about submitting an application. Here   
it is necessary to solve a lot of organizational issues 
owls I’ll keep quiet about the fact that in the old days 
Exchange grooms bought dresses for brides...  
You can't expect anything like this now. Well, the rings! 
Wedding table! Guest line-up! Invitation 
niya... Who will do all this, I 
am I asking you? In principle, I could
ma, but it’s easy for the bride to do all this   
indecent.                              
                                         
   One evening, once again   
asking myself all these questions, I came to
kitchen, where mommy and daddy collect-  
were about to sit down to dinner.                   
                                         
 - Dad! - I said decisively to daddy,
who just poured himself a glass 
aperitif (it was Friday evening, and this
day daddy always allowed himselfdrink
before going to bed, which is his sleep
was born from watching some video   
film). - And what do you think about the re-
the wedding of your only daughter?   
                                         
   Dad already choked, but took a drink   
still swallowed it, although it took a long time afterwards 
coughed.                              
                                         
 “Daughter,” daddy finally said. -   
What a question! I have already expressed my opinion a long time ago 
attitude. Papa Borya is definitely ready  
suffer financially and wait only for appropriate 
corresponding command. That's how I see this one    
picture, - daddy daydreamed and eyes  
he was clouded... - Ira and Seryozha are sitting
in the kitchen, drawing out a layout plan 
guests before the fight... sorry, during    
weddings They argue until they are hoarse, then Sere-
I'm thinking about inviting you to a wedding
some celebrity, for example, Dima
Malikova...                              
                                         
 - No need for Malikov, - said the mother, 
continuing to conjure at the stove. - For guests  
your appetite may disappear.                  
                                         
 - You don’t understand anything about modern  
stage,” said daddy. - Normal 
guy and sings melodic music. eat 
This is a pleasure! I'm not   
I suggest you call Alice Cooper.- Well, so what? - I hurry him, then-
Well, I know how daddy can jump -
move your thoughts from one to the other. - Seryozha 
decided to invite some celebrity, and
what next?                              
                                         
 - Well, - daddy with pleasure    
returns to this idyllic picture.
- Seryozha decided to invite someone for your sake -
you're a celebrity, but you object, because 
because it costs a lot of money. And then  
you, continuing to argue, get up and run to
to daddy's office...                     
                                         
   Daddy paused and poured himself another    
glass, said: “For the wedding,” and slowly
he drained it, groaning with pleasure. 
                                         
 - Dad! - I said sharply. - Less al- 
coholism! More to do! What happened next? 
Your daughter is nervous about these sweets 
paintings                                  
                                         
 “And in the office,” daddy continued, “ 
Daddy sits and...                       
                                         
 “He’s playing Lines,” I finished after a while.
th.                                      
                                         
 - And works with the electronic program   
exchanges, - without blinking an eye, said pa- 
bullet. - Kids influffy slippers    
they run into daddy’s office... - and then   
his eyes became moist.                   
                                         
 - What fluffy slippers? - perplexed-
but mummy said. - Borya, what are you not-  
are you eating?                                    
                                         
 “What?” asked daddy, looking up  
from my visions - we don’t have those at home 
fluffy slippers in the shape of bunnies, rabbits 
cows or chanterelles?                         
                                         
 - The Lord is with you, Borya! - scared    
said mommy. - Yes, in our lives we have the same... 
there were no slippers.                     
                                         
 - So buy it tomorrow! - suddenly angry - 
Daddy wondered. - What, I don’t have enough money for   
Am I leaving the farm?                      
                                         
 - It will be done! - I said hastily, 
afraid that daddy won't switch to 
solving everyday problems on which he   
can get stuck in a loop for two hours, especially  
after a couple of drinks. - So, kid-
ki in fluffy slippers run up to pa-   
pulque...                                
                                         
 “To daddy,” daddy clarified, and his eyes
he became foggy again. - They run up to pa-
kidney, they take him away from important work... -
it's like daddy hereI even cried... 
                                         
 “Mom,” I asked in a whisper. - He's up to mo-
when he arrived, how many glasses did you drink?         
                                         
 “About four,” mummy answered.    
                                         
 “Ah-ah,” I said. - Then it’s clear,  
where did the slippers come from?                  
                                         
 - They are tearing him away, I say, from important work - 
you,” daddy continued, having coped with  
excitement, - and they say: “Daddy! We want- 
tim we should invite a huge one to the wedding   
celebrity - Alice Cooper..."          
                                         
 “Dima Malikov,” I corrected.         
 “Don’t care,” daddy responded. -Va- 
wife itself is a fact. In short, don't interrupt.      
                                         
 “I’m silent,” I said.                   
 - “But for us,” you say, “for this   
I need a little more money
zhek in national US dollars   
rah". And I say: “Children, how old are you?  
Is it still necessary for this"? And you answer - 
those: “Five hundred dollars, no less”!       
                                         
 - Right now! - I say, interrupting the pathos of this
minutes. - What five hundred dollars? For     
the same Malikov took a private performance 
three pieces of meth, no less!                
                                         
 - Yes? - Withdaddy asked indignantly and
It was as if he had immediately sobered up. - Neither 
Fuck your appetites.                      
                                         
 “Well, dad,” I said matter-of-factly. - 
He's a star! He will become because of some 
five hundred dollars to get dirty.               
                                         
 - Wow! - I was completely offended -  
bullet. - Even I am a star in the field of bir- 
chewing shenanigans - I’ll get dirty because of   
five hundred dollars. And he, you see, in    
scrap! - and he indignantly reached into the plate with 
salad that mommy just finished
put it on the table, but got it from mommy
hands.                                   
                                         
 “That’s life, daddy,” I said. - 
Well, so what? You didn't finish the parable. 
                                         
 “This is not a parable,” the father said bitterly.    
bullet. - These are my bright dreams that 
you broke with the harsh truth of life.        
                                         
 “Well,” I was upset. - So what, I  
I still don’t know how it ended?  
                                         
   Daddy thought, chewed his lips, but
then he continued:                
                                         
 - In short, the children declare that they 
for this damn Malikov you need more   
a couple thousanddollars.                     
                                         
 “Three,” I corrected, but daddy popped  
I ignored the comment.                    
                                         
 “And then daddy says,” said dad-   
bullet, and his voice began to sound again   
sentimental notes: - "Children! Take it -
as many as you want! If only you   
were happy and healthy! Daddy is ra- 
works only to get you   
it was good! You need a thousand - take it - 
schu! You need five hundred dollars - take it      
five hundred! Yes, even a hundred dollars - take it all -
those! Climb into the nightstand under the computer 
and take it!"                               
                                         
 - Right now! - I said. - There from the past 
There's only fifty bucks left over the weekend.
                                         
 - How is this? - asked daddy, from whom
I got all sentimental again     
mood.                                 
                                         
 - Dad, what are you doing? - I was even offended. -
You yourself told me to take it from there   
money and took my girlfriends to a cafe to 
celebrate the engagement and application.    
                                         
 - Yes? - Dad asked somewhat dumbfounded 
bullet.                                  
                                         
 “Exactly,” I confirmed.- When did I say that? - just in case   
Dad asked about the case.         
                                         
 “Last Friday,” I explained. -
When I came back after poker.               
                                         
 “Ah-ah-ah,” daddy seemed to remember. -
It's clear. And how many girlfriends did you invite?
strength? Your entire faculty and a couple more co- 
gray ones? There was more than a thousand bucks there!
                                         
 - Dad, how small are you, by God,
- I got angry. - Only nine arrived 
girls. We had a very nice time at Santa's
Fe." Burrito, tequila, pork ribs     
"barbecue", Mexican ensemble and fire
delicious dessert with Armagnac. You yourself are 
stole when I complained to you that
they proposed to me on the subway: “Daughter! I
I promise you that you will have both a burrito and  
dessert with Armagnac...                 
                                         
 “Well, yes,” he confirmed, confused.     
bullet. - I promised. But I thought about you myself  
"Santa Fe" was not intended to be mixed at all. 
I hope you took all your girlfriends there
you mean...                                  
                                         
 “Well,” I pouted, “the whole holiday 
ruined it.                                
                                         
 - Did I ruin it? - Dad was amazed...   
 -“Okay, that’s enough,” she said decisively.
mommy. - They put up a picture here: “People- 
ny court judges people's control by people's
methods." Let's have dinner better.        
                                         
 “In short,” I said to daddy. - Nothing
this has not yet been observed. Neither fluffy   
slippers, no Dima Malikov, not even Alice 
Cooper. Seryoga is silent, like a partisan, and   
It doesn't even itch. And by the way, I’m already in
rabies.                               
                                         
 “By the way,” said daddy, “someone has
Some nationalities have this custom: weightless
she runs straight from the wedding if she    
poorly organized. And at the same time I don’t consider 
is then disgraced or married, and   
failed husband covers himself with eternal 
shame.                                 
                                         
 - Yes? - Mommy was amazed. - Why 
no one told me this before the wedding -
hall?                                     
                                         
 - No, nevermind! - Pa was indignant
bullet. - I, and even in THOSE years, threw   
SUCH a wedding that the whole neighborhood carried it    
How many years ago did I remember?                      
                                         
 “Whoa,” said Mommy. - Exactly   
that then several years of all sorts of drunkards  
I had to dig it out of the house. I already   
I’m silent about the fact that the first marriagenight at   
took place a week after      
weddings, because the guests still  
they couldn’t get along.                        
                                         
 - What a hit! - daddy was indignant and
I was just about to start with mommy  
scandal in full, like a door 
the bell rang.                         
                                         
   Mommy went to open the door, and from the hallway 
her voice rang out:                   
                                         
 - Ah-ah-ah, Seryozha! Hello, Seryozha.
Come in, undress...                
                                         
   A couple of minutes later, on the threshold of the kitchen, 
Mommy was hanging out with Sergei. My fiance was 
in a great mood, and for the sake of   
holiday (they are with my daddy   
quite agree in the sense that the evening  
Fridays are definitely a holiday because
end of the working week; Seryoga even at pa-  
pulki adopted the manner of calling her "tip-
tsa") he even brought a couple of flowers -   
me and mommy. For me - a rose, and for mommy - 
cloves I must say that recently
conversation at the registry office about the quality of flowers  
clearly benefited him. Because Ser-
gay stopped buying stunted and dusty  
bouquets of roadside rickets 
daisy carpets that grannies sell from  
metro, and now buys normal onesflowers. Of course, carry huge ones all the time  
bouquets he doesn't have enough money, so  
he brings one flower at a time. It's worth it
It’s not much, but it makes an impression. Yes   
that the guy is still quite amenable to my
training. And that's very good.    
                                         
 - Seryoga! - yelled daddy, to whom   
it was boring to be alone in the ladies' room  
society. - Sit down, friend, take a glass. You 
How will you drink? In Russian - from a glass, 
or in Cossack - from a glass? Or in my opinion
- from three glasses at once?                   
                                         
 - Hello, Boris Natanovich. Hello, Ir-
“ka,” said Sergei, sitting down at the table. 
- I will drink like a programmer - from     
mugs.                                  
                                         
 - Wow! - Dad was amazed. - That is   
you need a whole mug of cognac to swell, what  
is it?                                      
                                         
 “No,” said Sergei. - I feel good there-
I wish I had some beer. The mug - it fills with beer -
much better than cognac. At the beer   
surface tension coefficient     
more.                                  
                                         
   Daddy winked at me - they say, study,  
as the guy explains, after which he went to 
refrigerator, took out a couple of bottles of beer and 
put them in frontSergei.               
                                         
 “Nobody objects,” asked my mother.    
Mulka, - what if I bring Baklanov here? 
And then he was alone in the living room and completely deteriorated.  
                                         
 “I have objections,” she responded.
I. - Not only that daddy after five-  
no cognac periodically swears,   
so now Baklanov will also begin his
tagging insert. And for us, by the way, -
I said very seriously, realizing that      
There is no point in delaying this topic any longer   
opportunities - today it is necessary to discuss  
Let's ask one very important question.           
                                         
 “Well, the question won’t escape us,” stated
Daddy said, pouring beer for Sergei and himself 
cognac, - but about the bird we should also pose -
worry. And in general, Ir, I don’t understand your
her callousness. They'd lock you up like that     
cage and left one in the living room.       
                                         
 “Eh,” mummy sighed, “for anyone.” 
Women's marriage is a golden cage.     
                                         
 - Well, mommy, it’s your gold one, - 
said daddy, carefully sending   
mouth baked toast with cheese. - Many
For others, it’s completely steel. And some
even cast iron.                         
                                         
 - Personally, I’m not inthan I'm not going to og- 
to limit Irina's freedom - unexpectedly   
Sergei stated, and I suddenly noticed that   
two bottles of beer standing on the table are already  
empty.                                  
                                         
 - Well, Serge, it’s you in the heat of the moment, - good-natured -
but daddy said. -You still have a beer to spare-
no?                                    
                                         
 “Yeah,” answered Sergei.                
 “And you, dad,” I said, starting     
to be angry - I would ask you not to interfere 
into our personal lives.                     
                                         
 “I’m silent, I’m silent,” said daddy, again
heading to the refrigerator.              
                                         
   During this pause, mommy went  
for the parrot, brought the cage and hung it up  
it in a traditional place - next to the dishes
wardrobe. Baklanov's mother poured  
food, and also drove pa-    
bullet, which everyone intended to splash 
I'll give the parrot some cognac so that he, des-
Well, I took part in the gala dinner
no.                                      
                                         
 “So,” said daddy, when everything    
back to the table, let's drink to what's to come 
wedding!                             
                                         
 - Well, hello! - said mommy.     
 - Whatis that? - Dad was confused. -   
Has the wedding already been cancelled?                    
                                         
   "Vodka coupons have been cancelled. Shame!"
- Bakla immediately responded from the cage -
new                                     
                                         
   At these words, Sergei and I immediately
choked on their drinks. He is beer 
I - orange juice.                  
                                         
 - What do you mean let's drink? - said indignantly-
la mummy, developing her idea. - Wu mu-
there's a lot of juice, and the ladies are sitting and not 
in one eye? Moreover, no one even
I was worried about pouring something for them.
“Okay, Borya,” she pounced on   
daddy, - but I didn’t get that from Seryozha  
expected. He was always so attentive  
ny!                                     
                                         
   Seryoga began to fuss at these words,    
jumped up, almost knocking over his glass of  
beer, ran to the refrigerator, took out
there was a bottle of wine in there and out of excitement I poured
glass of wine into a cognac glass.           
                                         
 - Wine glasses, - in an unctuous voice    
I said, “they are on the shelf by the stove.”     
                                         
 “Come on,” said Mommy, “and
I'll drink from this one. Not small. In ourstudent years, daddy and I wine yes-
They drank from a construction helmet.           
                                         
 “Yeah,” daddy confirmed. - Golden 
there was a time. And now all we know is  
what to drink from any crystal ba- 
rakhla...                                 
                                         
   "The crystal heart is not afraid of fire!"
- said Baklanov.                      
                                         
 - And coronary bypass surgery too, -  
Daddy confirmed.                     
                                         
 - Ir, what should I pour you? - confused   
asked Sergei.                          
                                         
 - She needs to splash some Coca-Cola, - author- 
Dad said quietly. - Now I’m all young-
Dezh drinks Coca-Cola, and it makes such glitches
They say that even the group "Hands Up" can 
listen without disgust.                  
                                         
   "You can only drink this filth...
big-aged, big-aged, big-aged      
pr-r-ridur-r-rock,” said the parrot.     
                                         
 - Bor, what are you talking about! - outrage-  
Mommy was there, but daddy was no longer there   
stop by any means. Moreover,   
that Baklanov was at one with him today.   
                                         
 “I’ll drink some cognac,” she said.I'm menacing. -
In an environment of continuous insults from  
sides of the daddy and the ewon parrot I want
I want to tune in with my daddy on the same wavelength,
so that my brilliant parries fall out
Dovs were received by him properly. And
his parrot too.                     
                                         
   Daddy did something completely unimaginable.
my facial expression, which at the same time 
expressed two contradictory thoughts. First
- oh, daughter, young, as she puts it! Second 
heaven - well, my daughter has become insolent! Apparently, it is necessary 
I wish I could flog her!                          
                                         
   Finally, everyone had a drink, daddy   
raised his glass again and made a toast to    
upcoming wedding. Everyone drank and began  
snack on what. For a couple of minutes reign
there was silence.                           
                                         
 “Serge,” after a while he decided  
Dad said emphatically. - What kind do you have?   
plans for the near future?              
                                         
 “Well, well,” Sergei drawled. - Plans - 
hulk. Firstly, you need to disassemble the loggia  
army. Otherwise I have a whole cultural   
layer of antique computers. I think   
that if you rummage properly, then the lower 
layer can be donated directly to the museum for      
big money. There, in my opinion, even “A-  
gat" is lying around.                           
                                         
 “Agate is a beautiful stone,” said my mother. 
cartoon - Why keep him on the balcony?  
                                         
   "Aunt Agatha is a r-rare bitch!" -   
Baklanov announced to everyone.                   
                                         
 “Eat, honey,” pa said to him.     
bullet. - Eat your seed. And stop talking
for food.                                 
                                         
 “No,” explained Sergei. - It was  
such an ancient Soviet computer. Some 
some elders say that he even once 
Yes, it worked. Sometimes. But I own this 
I didn’t see it with my eyes.                        
                                         
 - With the loggia - it’s clear, - very patiently
said daddy. - I mean plans for
very near future.                
                                         
 “Well,” Sergei thought again. - Yours  
I want to change NT to WindoWs 2000. Govo-  
They say that the glitches in it are not fatal.     
                                         
   We are together with daddy at the same time    
made very similar faces. I would like-
I was about to explode, but daddy did it to me
a barely noticeable sign - they say, don’t perform, I  
I'll figure it out myself.                           
                                         
 “Okay,” said daddy. - Then start-
I askleading questions.          
                                         
 “No problem,” Sergei said firmly. -
Can I have another beer?                        
                                         
 “Not yet,” the father answered just as firmly. 
bullet. - Answer all questions - semi-
drink beer. If you don't answer, you'll eat it  
ice until you die of thirst.         
                                         
 “I understand,” said Sergei. - We returned   
times of persecution of the first Christians.   
                                         
   "Hr-r-Christian por-r-took the car-r-rman", 
- Baklanov said flirtatiously.             
                                         
 -Are you a Christian? - pa- became interested
bullet.                                  
                                         
 “Nope,” answered Sergei. - I'm a Zionist.   
                                         
 - Wow! - it’s unclear why I was happy  
daddy.                                
                                         
 - Why is this suddenly? It’s like you don’t eat...
ray.                                     
                                         
 - What does a Jew have to do with it? - Sergei was surprised. 
- All decent people work at C. I
I mean, of course, "Sea Place Place" -  
he corrected himself. Daddy was stuck with    
open jaw. I realized that the conversation
again he insidiously moves aside.I don't give a damn about his religion,
I sewed, but avoid discussing the wedding 
I won't allow it.                            
                                         
 - Dad! - I almost screamed. - What does it have to do with it?  
Is this his religion?                 
                                         
 “Well, yes,” daddy woke up. - In short,  
Serge, tell me, like a man - to the future 
father-in-law: are you going to get married?          
                                         
 “I’m going to,” Sergei answered firmly. - 
Can I have another beer?                    
                                         
 “Just a minute,” answered daddy. - More pa-
ru questions. If you're going to get married,   
So there must be a wedding. So?         
                                         
 - Well, depending on how you look at it, - somehow laziness -
Sergei answered. Reigned in the kitchen   
eerie silence.                           
                                         
   The most interesting thing was that   
what is the culprit of temporary numbness of everything   
the team of our friendly family sat
as if nothing had happened, he nibbled on toast
and turned his head in all directions, waiting  
wondering when he will be given the next pair of pi-
va.                                      
                                         
 - What an asshole, brother, - unexpected -
but said in a completely calm voicedaddy. - How can you - to me - to yours?   
to a combat commander - say such words?
                                         
 - Which combat commander? - scared-
Xia Sergey.                               
                                         
 “This is a quote from Serafimovich,” explained
daddy. - Novel "Iron Flood".      
                                         
 “Flow,” I corrected him.           
                                         
 “I don’t care,” daddy waved him off. -   
The main thing now is to find out what he's up to    
this descendant of Bill Gates.               
                                         
 - Why are you insulting me? - smash- 
Seryoga disappeared. - What did I do to you? 
                                         
 “Yes, dad,” I said, “it’s you who-” 
resour. Sergei, of course, blurted out something
not the same, but not as much. Maybe we'll tell him 
we will still be able to explain the depth of its power     
ral fall. Why Gates right away? 
calling names?                              
                                         
 - What happened? - just once - 
Sergei was nervous. - What did I say?  
hall?                                     
                                         
 “Repeat,” I demanded, “those creepy ones.” 
the words you said about     
weddings- Which? - asked Sergei. - By the way, -  
he turned to daddy, “they promised me   
beer.                                    
                                         
 - You'll get the hole from the donut, not Sha-
Rapova, - answered daddy, who, like 
Apparently, he decided to talk for the rest of the evening   
just quotes.                         
                                         
   "The ball-r-rapnel hit the       
shar-r-rnir-r-ru!” - Baklanov agreed. 
                                         
 “The same ones,” I said angrily. - By -
water “well, it depends on how you look”...         
                                         
 “Whoa,” daddy picked up. - I'm from   
These words turned me completely black.       
                                         
 - You, Boris Natanovich, are already dark-haired - 
"Syy," Sergei retorted.                 
                                         
 “I mean in the shower,” explained pa-
bullet.                                  
                                         
 - In short, - I said, - Seryoga, what are you
are you against the wedding? Post it right away.
Because sooner is better than never.    
                                         
 - Yes, I have nothing against the wedding, - 
Sergei began to defend himself. - I'll just think-  
it’s small that it’s an ordinary wedding - well, it’s    
terrible boredom. Everyone will sit downtable, for example
they are fighting, then some aunt will stand up   
Sarah will read creepy poems...         
                                         
 “Don’t be afraid for Aunt Sarah,” interrupted him.  
daddy. - I didn’t like this old idiot myself.  
I’m not going to invite you to any wedding. -   
Borya! - Mommy said reproachfully. -  
How can you speak so poorly of your own?   
relatives?                           
                                         
 - Douse these relatives with gasoline -   
nom... - daddy said bloodthirstyly.     
                                         
 - Borya! - Mommy exclaimed in horror. 
                                         
 “And throw it to the piranhas,” he finished his 
daddy had a bright thought and began to gnaw
chicken leg.                           
                                         
 “Well,” Sergei continued, without letting  
confuse yourself. - Everyone sits, drinks and  
All they know is that they shout “Bitterly”.       
                                         
 - Well, they drink - this is quite natural, -  
said daddy, pouring himself another  
glass and finally taking it out of the refrigerator
ka Seregino beer. - What about “Gorko”... 
If you don’t like it so much, we’ll scream  
part "Sweet". I will personally do this   
conduct.                            
                                         
 “That’s not what I’m talking about,” he waved his hand.    
Sergey. - Suchevent - once every      
life. Well, maybe two or three...         
                                         
   Then I kicked him quite painfully 
under the table.                              
                                         
 “In general,” Sergei hurried, “ho-  
I want it to be remembered and to be original 
ginal.                               
                                         
 “I understand that,” said daddy, 
throwing down my glass. - Don't mess around, yeah
approx. State your demands directly.  
Of course, we have negotiations with terrorists 
it is not accepted to lead, but for the sake of the only   
Daughters, I am ready for any expense. Within,
Of course, reasonable.                      
                                         
 “I’m not a terrorist,” Sergei explained. - I
sysadmin                                
                                         
 - Do they also take hostages? -  
Daddy became interested.                
                                         
 - Hostages? - Sergei thought. - Well, 
if users are considered hostages, then - 
perhaps.                                 
                                         
 - I don’t know this nationality - “use-
ry,” admitted daddy.               
                                         
 “But I know,” said Seryoga and said:  
Mu was amused.Then I realized that...
take the thread of the conversation into your own hands.        
                                         
 “Friends,” I said decisively. -Mo- 
Well, you'll take your glasses and go to  
Papul's office, so that it can be calm there
judge your problems. And then we're at an hour's notice  
We're already stuck in the kitchen, but still not    
one issue remains unresolved. You're all tongue
chatting back and forth, but not talking about business. 
Maybe I'm wasting this whole event  
started? Maybe I'm actually better off in the old ones
virgins look like up to twenty-five years old, until
I won't meet the man of my dreams?        
                                         
 - I always thought that I was a man
your dreams,” said Sergei and pouted.  
                                         
 - The events of recent days have shown that in
the dream showed significant holes, -   
I said sarcastically. - It's a serious matter, huh?
you and daddy are still on track  
You can’t enter the conversation.               
                                         
 “In short,” said daddy, “Irka is great-
va. Seryoga, quickly tell me why the wedding
don't want to! - with these words he knocked  
fist on the table.                        
                                         
 “I want a wedding,” Sergei hurried, 
- but original. In youth style.   
                                         
 - For example? - I asked suspiciously.- Let's invite the computer-advanced crowd 
thorny plan of youth, - Seryoga explained,
- let's take some wine and kebabs and go to Mo-
Nino.                                    
                                         
 - Well, hello! - Mom suddenly raised her voice - 
cartoon, alarming Buck, who was dozing off, 
lanova, who began to beat his wings and     
yell: “Great, cool!          
Did you devour the army?" - Not at all  
“I won’t take my fish to Monino,” I decided.    
Mommy said emphatically. - Yes, and my mother,
- she added, - she won’t go out of town.    
                                         
 - Yes? - pa- suddenly became interested  
bullet, which opened his mouth to   
spread Seregino's proposal to everyone    
points, but Mamulkin’s last statement is more precise 
This changed his position somewhat.      
                                         
 - The hell with it! - I said decisively. -
Celebrate a wedding with a crowd of geeks
I'm not going to camp in nature. Can you for
to look for some other bride.
                                         
 - Well, why with a crowd of computer scientists? 
- Sergei even seemed offended. - I have-
I'm not the only computer geeks I know. 
In my opinion, there were at least three acquaintances from  
normal people.                        
                                         
   Heraised his head up and began to say something
calculate by moving your lips.             
                                         
 “No,” he finally remembered. - Not three.
One. And he, in my opinion, either died or 
whether married.                              
                                         
 - God! - I said with disgust. - 
What are you talking about! It's all from beer. I'll tell you  
I will set the condition that after our wedding
- no beer! Sergey and daddy are amazing
fell silent.                         
                                         
 “Well, daughter,” interrupted the heavy silence.  
daddy. - You can’t do that. This is worse than terrorism  
rizma. UN such statements strongly    
condemns.                                
                                         
 “I don’t give a damn,” I said, referring to  
already stretched to the limit. - Decide quickly 
What are we doing with the wedding? Or am I right here
I’m terminating the engagement and returning Seryoga’s
hand ring.                        
                                         
 - Did I give it to you? - was amazed  
Sergey.                                  
                                         
 - Of course I didn’t give it. I made it for myself 
saw. Can you really expect it from you? - ulcers-   
I said emphatically.                        
                                         
 - Then don’t give up the ring, since you’ve ku- 
drank,” he said judiciouslydaddy.   
                                         
   In short, the conversation again turned to 
dead end Well, what are you going to do with them, huh?
                                         
 “Ir, don’t get excited,” conciliatoryly   
said Sergei. - I don’t want to do this at all. 
bark in a way you don't want. I'll do it this way
as you want. If this, of course, coincides 
gives with my wishes, - corrected himself   
he.                                      
                                         
 “In short,” I said decisively. -     
We'll have a wedding somewhere inexpensive  
cafe. We reserve a table there, but we negotiate -
We are sure that we will bring our own alcohol.        
                                         
 - What about my fish? - Mommy was alarmed.  
                                         
 - Elena Stanislavovna! - said Sergei. 
- Why do you need to be deformed by almost a hundred people? 
catcher? It’s better to do yours on the second day
wonderful fish when all that remains is
to the closest friends.                 
                                         
 - For how many people? - I screamed. -Ka-
what hundred people? On my part it will be    
five girlfriends and that's it! Well, and Petya Suvorov, 
with whom I have been friends since kindergarten.   
                                         
 “Petya is to be pressed,” Se said decisively.
rega. - At my wedding - no singing   
Suvorov.- On our side, too, there will be no people -
“nogo,” said daddy. - Only the most  
close relatives. Cities from four   
reh-five. American and Australian   
they probably won’t arrive, so maybe not  
worry.                            
                                         
 - Well, how come they won’t arrive? - argued   
mommy. -Your mother will definitely come close- 
tit. So Uncle Sunya will fly with her. A  
he always carries his wife, lovers, 
tsu, the son of a mistress with a wife and mistress, 
his wife's daughter with her boyfriend and Aunt Clara, who 
What makes this whole crowd heavenly is fish.     
                                         
 “Hmm,” daddy thought. - affairs. And  
after all, everyone will really arrive. In short  
speaking, he said to Seryoga, with our    
There will be about fifty people on the side. And that's it   
They eat, by the way, like the SES during an inspection  
catering department                               
                                         
 “Nothing,” said Sergei, “we’ll feed you.” 
There will also be a lot of people on my side.  
Some fidoshniks will have three people  
call Otherwise you won’t call someone -   
The resentment will then last a lifetime. By network  
gossip instantly spreads.         
                                         
   I imagined the crowd, consisting 
half of Papulka's Australian- 
Chinese relatives,and to the other half 
- one of the computer scientists and fidish people, so to me  
I immediately felt a little worse. At the same time, even   
the option with Monino suddenly began to seem     
something cute.                      
                                         
 “We agreed,” said Sergei. - Once with
we have decided as a people, we will depart tomorrow
I'm looking for a cafe for a hundred people.          
                                         
 “Sereg, don’t drift,” said daddy. 
ka. - I bear the expenses myself. Of course   
"Santa Fe" rents for such an event
no need to bother, but choose a cafe well    
decent, don't be greedy. Wedding - event
it is a responsible activity and must be carried out  
on top. So let's do everything the way we want  
relies. Invite the music, mass crowd   
some kind of entertainer...              
                                         
 - Well, we have these entertainers there anyway   
there will be a carriage and a small cart, - once -
Sergei was having fun. - I guarantee this.
As for money, that’s how I make money too  
not bad. I'll pay for everything myself.                 
                                         
 “Come on,” daddy argued. -   
Even in a cafe there is an event for a hundred people - 
this is a very tidy sum.             
                                         
 - Bullshit, - said Sergei. - I'm no longer in  
This is the first time I’m holding such events. 
When it comes down to itcompetently, expenses will
blowing is minimal.                          
                                         
 “You don’t have to approach things wisely,”  
I was alarmed because I was much 
more daddy is aware that co-
The fight is represented by fidish gatherings. - It is necessary
approach things the way daddy says
ka.                                      
                                         
 - Let's do this as follows - 
suggested Sergei. - For your half of the state -
I order everything the way you want, and
on my own - as I see fit.        
                                         
   I started to argue, but daddy said, 
that this is quite fair. And they are here  
we agreed that daddy pays 
table for our relatives, and Sergei - 
rent of a hall, music and a table for your friends
whom. For some reason I don't like this whole idea. 
I was upset, but daddy said that it was fair 
and like a man, so my protests are high
by the contracting parties into account 
tions were not accepted.                     
                                         
   Next, Sergei and daddy delved into 
complex calculations of the amount of alcohol, not 
enough for such a crowd, and I fed 
the forgotten Baklanov. He enthusiastically
I started gnawing on the seeds, periodically    
kindly declaring:"It's good to devour - it's also necessary   
be able to!"                                  
                                         
   Finally, all preliminary negotiations
the battles were finished, Sergei finished his beer
and began to take his leave. I volunteered for him    
carry out because I wanted to discuss more
a couple of questions. Mommy tried to su- 
put a cage with Baklanov, they say, it would be nice 
take the bird for a walk, otherwise it’s in the apartment    
completely mossy, but I categorically refused 
started wandering down the street with this colorful 
you're a bully because I was afraid that   
because of his performances they might just  
beat.                                  
                                         
   At first we walked in silence. Sergei was
clearly in a good mood and from time to time 
for a while he even hummed something under his breath.
                                         
 - Finally, at least something was decided with      
wedding,” I broke the silence.         
                                         
 “Yeah,” Seryoga answered.                
 - If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even scratch-   
- I expressed what had long been said -
was boiling.                                  
                                         
 “Uh-huh,” answered Sergei again, who  
clearly decided to avoid any attempts   
close combat.                            
                                         
 - Whatyes? - I started to get excited.       
 - If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t have scratched the itch, 
- Sergei answered peacefully.             
                                         
   What a bastard! He agrees with everything. good 
tactics. And I don’t have the opportunity
even make a small scandal, though  
clearly intended to do so. Okay, one time
agrees, it means we need to seize the moment.  
                                         
 “And here’s another thing, Sergei,” I say decisively.
I. - At dinner, I was stopped by pa-  
bullet, but I'm completely serious when I say, 
that after the wedding you will need to get married -
go with your beer.                     
                                         
 - Why is this still the case? - asked Sergei, with   
who immediately lost all his good
neck mood.                          
                                         
 “I don’t like this beer bread,” said 
I did. - Firstly, you will soon have an increase 
tut belly. Secondly, beer is harmful.      
                                         
 -Who told you such nonsense? - surprised
Sergey. - Beer is a natural product, and  
on the contrary, it is useful. Unless, of course,
drink it ten liters a day. But I   
I suck down a couple of bottles, no more.     
                                         
 - Drinking every day is alcoholism, -  
I say decisively. - And my husband is an alcoholic - 
no face needed.“It depends on how you drink,” Ser retorts.  
gay. - All of France drinks wine every day,
and all of America and England are beer. But alcohol 
There are an order of magnitude fewer Golikovs there than we have.
Now, if I blew out a boo-boo every day 
back of vodka - then your complaints were  
would be fair. But beer is completely different
no matter.                                
                                         
 - It annoys me when you drink beer, 
- I said in a rather vile voice.    
                                         
 - These are exclusively your own    
problems,” Seryoga began to rage.        
                                         
   Wow! It turns out he can   
show teeth.                        
                                         
 - What did you say?                        
 - What I heard.                          
 - So you're giving up for me?     
stop drinking beer? - I screamed.       
                                         
 - In my opinion, on your part - just    
It's stupid to make such demands -    
said Sergei. - You still demand that I
I stopped reading fidosh mail and on In-  
ternet to climb.                          
                                         
 “By the way,” I said coldly, “okay.”
that you started talking about it. Personally, I don't care at all
doesn't smile to have a husband who stays all night
spends a row at the computer. So
in this regard you will have to give me something 
what guarantees?                          
                                         
 “Wow,” thoughtfully and as if to himself
said Sergei, “it turns out that all these
talk about how marriage is voluntary
Is prison true?                  
                                         
 “Not a prison,” I explained, “but a good-  
freely assumed obligations.     
                                         
 “You know, Ir,” Ser said decisively.  
gay. - Let's agree this way. Or am I you-  
I fulfill all your demands, but then you  
you promise me to stop reading Ma- 
Rinina, watch TV, listen to Tanya 
Bulanov and you will swear that you will never    
you won't talk on the phone in your life
more than two minutes, or we stay each
with your habits and shortcomings. Decide 
quickly, we're almost there.             
                                         
   I thought about it. It was a sneaky move.   
 “You know,” I finally said. - Mine   
love for Marinina, Bulanova and television
ru does not affect health and is destructive -
It has no effect on the family.       
                                         
 “The hell with it,” said Sergei. - More   
how they render it. When I hear Bulanova, 
me right awaydepression begins.         
                                         
 - Who told you such nonsense? -     
I'm angry.                                 
                                         
 “I told you,” Sergei retorts. - You
You also tell me that beer is harmful  
for health, although it is useful, so I
I can say with full right that  
Bulanova has a harmful effect on   
my central nervous system.         
                                         
 - So you won’t stop drinking beer? - decide-  
I ask carefully.                      
                                         
 - So you won’t stop listening to Bulanova?
- this bastard asks in the same tone.      
                                         
 - Let’s do this, - I’m trying to find a compromise.  
Miss. - I'm not telling you anything about In-  
Ternet and Fido, and you don’t say anything   
about Marinina and Bulanova. But you drink beer
only on weekends and holidays. Os-     
I am withdrawing all requirements.             
                                         
 “We agreed,” for some reason I easily agreed.
Sergei hesitates. - But you watch TV
also only on weekends and holidays.    
                                         
 - What does TV have to do with it? - I yell.       
 - At the same time as my beer - spo-  
Sergei answers calmly.No, he's a scoundrel, huh? I told him about Foma, and
he told me about Yerema. What does it have to do with
TV for beer? Meanwhile, we have reached 
bus stop, and the bus is already 
appeared around the corner.                    
                                         
 - So I didn’t understand what you decided, right-
sews Sergei, who is clearly triumphant  
victory.                                  
                                         
 - By the way, I haven’t decided anything yet, 
- I’m angry because I just can’t 
think what to answer him. - I generally have
big doubts arose.              
                                         
 “Come on,” Ser says calmly.  
gay. - You have no doubts. And you 
understood perfectly well that before presenting
make some demands on me, you yourself 
must be ready to give up something.
But you don't want to do this. And that's right - 
but, because it is much better when each 
Most of us will remain with our habits.
                                         
 - Serge, come on, at least you’ll drink   
beer every other day, not every day - already 
I start begging him.                
                                         
 “Bargaining is inappropriate here,” arrogantly   
this infection answers, kisses me on the cheek and
gets on the bus.Hmmm, things are going on. How can I be so obmishur-  
were you? Well, nothing. He doesn’t know me well yet 
et. I'll think through the scheme soon   
offensive, and in any case he will come-
Please give me some guarantees. Retreat
I'm not going to. Let him not hope!    
                                         
                  * * *                  
                                         
   It seems that the matter has moved from a dead point - 
ki. Seryoga went somewhere there and negotiated  
I was wandering around some cafe. I wanted this 
to monitor the matter and demanded    
so that he would take me there to get acquainted  
deal with the situation, but Sergei highly  
stated sternly that since he takes everything seventh
bya - means to yourself. And that I interfere 
shouldn't.                               
                                         
   In my opinion, it is arrogance to do such 
statements. Of course, I myself insisted on 
that Seryoga show some   
initiative, but not to the same extent.   
Any initiative coming from him     
must take place under my strict control
lem. Moreover, control how you understand 
you guessed it, you have to start the whole process from the beginning 
until the end. Because if the guy (and those
more - a programmer) to shoulder the whole    
process, then percent will be processed there
twenty things that need to be done, and mostly  
the remaining eighty will remain - well, no way 
not affected. I already know thisa long time ago
the experience of daddy and mommy, and from experience   
communication with children at school and college.
                                         
   For example, do you think we have already bought
wedding rings? The hell with it! Wedding 
on the nose, but the rings have not yet been purchased. Head-  
new, because how Seryoga feels about this    
problem! He just forgot! I just forgot 
and that's it! He will probably remember      
rings at the entrance to the registry office, and we buy them
We drink at some stall. Such cute  
Typical plastic rings, rubles each  
five each...                           
                                         
   Now I’m writing this, but in the end everything  
seethes with anger. It must be so unimportant
treat the wedding with care! Well, nothing-
it can't be helped. Everything has to happen again    
take into your own hands. Because everyone 
a cunning smith of his own happiness,
and every girl is a blacksmith of her own    
weddings Otherwise it won't be a wedding, but   
complete disgrace. I wanted    
so that this day will be remembered for a long time, 
than not with all sorts of tragedies, absence
rings, lack of food or drink, insecurity 
different behavior of guests and so on, and  
quite the opposite - pleasant sensations
Yami, without the roughness of the past ceremony
nia, flowers and smiles.                
                                         
   Thinking about this, I immediatelyripped off 
picked up the phone and with such force began   
poke your fingers into the buttons while dialing a number  
her husband that she almost broke 
the device and fingers at the same time.                 
                                         
 “Good afternoon,” said a voice on the phone.
answering machine. - This is Sergei. I'm coming soon  
time I finish my mortal being -
because I'm going to get married,
so if you have anything important, 
what would you like to tell me, do it   
this is as soon as possible. Gee-gee. Speak    
after the beep, - and then there was a pretty   
nasty squeak.                            
                                         
   At first I was completely numb because this 
I heard the creepy text for the first time, but   
then I remembered that the answering machine was on time
thinking for more than twenty seconds is impossible 
gives. And then I found...                 
                                         
 “Seryozhenka,” I said in a squeaky voice. 
losom, - this is Lena, with whom you are with, speaking.  
friends at summer camp. I would really like to 
I wanted to talk to you before your       
weddings, so if you're at home, take it,   
please, a straw.                    
                                         
 - Ale, ale! - a voice was immediately heard -
th scoundrel. - Which Lena? Belozerskaya or
Lisichkina.                               
                                         
 - Figichkina! -I screamed with a voice of thunder 
catfish - You can tell your friends, and  
also Lenas, Klavas, Marinas and other bo-
to my friends, that you are free again! 
- and with these words I threw the phone down on 
lever He's joking, you know. Make a joke 
someday with your jokes...      
                                         
   A minute later the phone rang. I'm from   
principle waited for five rings, then answered
picked up the phone.                             
                                         
 - Why are you hanging up? - favorite 
immediately rushed to the offensive. - What am I   
did he say that? Offended by the answering machine?
So this is a joke. Just a joke.          
                                         
 - Moronic answering machine jokes let 
will remain on your conscience - cold    
I said. - Personally, it’s much more for me    
I liked how you rushed to communicate with  
a certain Lena...                          
                                         
 “You know what,” Sergei was indignant, not   
allowing my anger to flare up properly - 
woo, - and if I call you on behalf of ka- 
someone Volodya, come to the phone too
come and talk to him! So what, me
Then you should also create a scandal? Well   
let's do that. Here life begins  
interesting - every day there is a scandal.    
                                         
 - I was outraged notthat you generally
I got to the phone,” I explain, “otherwise   
WHAT VOICE did you use to talk to this Le- 
Noah.                                     
                                         
 “First of all,” said Sergei, “I’ll talk.”
I cooked not in THAT VOICE, but in the most ordinary one
voice. Secondly, I talked to... 
fight.                                     
                                         
 “But I thought,” I cried, “what happened to Le-  
noah!                                     
                                         
 - I don’t know any Len! - yelled    
Sergey. “More precisely,” he corrected himself, “     
I know, but they have nothing to do with me at all -
who cares.                          
                                         
   I fell silent offended.                 
                                         
 - Ir, why are you silent? - asked Sergei. 
-Admit that you provoked me yourself-
shaft, and then she herself also caused a scandal      
arranged.                                
                                         
 - There was nothing to be so affectionate with this Lena - 
“talk in your voice,” I muttered. 
                                         
 “Ir, we’re already going in cycles,” he said.
- This issue has already been discussed. By the way, you   
why did you call?                           
                                         
 - Why did I call?                      
 - Wellyes, why did you call?              
 - Are you really interested in this?    
   Sergei fell silent.                      
 - Why are you silent?                          
                                         
 - I don’t like it when you ask stupid questions   
questions.                                 
                                         
 - Oh, well, it turns out I’m asking stupid questions.
questions! - I was completely angry. - Well,   
of course! Your Lena probably doesn’t ask   
no stupid questions!               
                                         
 - This Lena is the fruit of your inflamed   
imagination,” Sergei said coldly. - And
in general - your creation. A kind of Franken-  
stein!                                   
                                         
 - So you also don’t like my creations-
curl! - I screamed again, realizing that 
than that I’m already saying something wrong, but mostly 
there was no way to stop,  
He made me really angry.              
                                         
 “Ir,” he said calmly. - I'm putting   
pipe, and when you cool down, then change the
stinks,” and actually hung up.   
What a bastard! But I wasn't going to give up without
battle, so I called back immediately.         
                                         
 - Ale! - his voice was heard.          
 - Here you are all “ale”, yes “ale”, - sarcastically -   
strictlyI said, “but the rings are still  
not purchased! Where are the rings?                  
                                         
   Sergei thought about it. Then hesitantly    
said:                                  
                                         
 - Well, I think you said that you yourself  
I bought myself a ring.                      
                                         
 - When is this? - I was surprised.             
 - Well, then. At dinner.                 
   Then I remembered:                      
 - Well, yes! I told you that I would pay you back... 
hand ring that she bought herself
be. But this is an engagement ring, not   
wedding!                              
                                         
 - And what, - Sergey asked in shock, - 
are these different things?                         
                                         
 - My God, of course they are different! Wedding
rings are for weddings, and wedding rings are   
for engagement!                           
                                         
 - So I need to buy two wedding dresses
rings? - he asked still uncertainly  
Sergey.                                  
                                         
 - You need to buy two wedding cards       
rings,” I said, realizing what was wrong with him    
you need to speak in very simple and co- 
in short phrases. - But they are usually called 
engagement Although engagement parties arefor 
engagement. And wedding ones are for weddings.  
But it is not customary for us to buy rings for  
engagement, so wedding rings are 
are called weddings. So what do you need 
buy two rings. To you and me. Two equipment 
starting rings. For marriage. For engagement.
More precisely, for a wedding. That is, for the registry office. 
This is such a tradition - the groom buys      
a ring for the bride and a ring for yourself. Golden,   
mind you, rings,” I added, remembering 
kiosk with plastic rings.       
                                         
 “Hmm,” said Sergei. Something in his go-
I clearly didn’t like the moose.            
                                         
 -What are you saying? - I couldn’t stand it. - B
what's the problem?                            
                                         
 “You see, Ir,” he said carefully. 
- Then you said about the ring, and I thought... 
It’s small that this issue has been resolved. Therefore from   
budget for upcoming spending money on rings
were taken out, and I bought myself a third stump. 
                                         
 - What did you buy? - I asked in shock.   
                                         
 “The third stump,” he explained. - Pentium 
I bought it for myself. Third. The new processor is  
coy. For the computer, he answered, too.  
having decided, apparently, to speak in simple and 
in very short sentences.“That is, you have,” I asked, re- 
shiv ask questions very simple and co-
in short phrases, excluding double    
interpretation - no money for rings? Is there
only the third stump. Which doesn't even fit a finger
you’ll put it on, and besides, it’s one, not two. 
                                         
 “Well, yes,” Sergei said simply. - I    
I knew that you would understand everything right away. Third   
You definitely can’t put a stump on your finger. even
you can’t attach it as an icon - really  
painfully healthy. Here's a second one 
Socket-370 could still be attached to
lapel as a badge...              
                                         
 - I'm not interested in your computer  
glands,” I interrupted him. - What will we do?   
what to do with rings? Keep in mind that I    
your stupid third stumps, fifth stumps and yes-
I don’t intend to put on the entire logging
on the lapel, not on the finger. In addition, - before -
I added, “the wedding dress in general   
there are no lapels for you to wear a jacket
se.                                      
                                         
 “Ir,” he whined, “I didn’t know.” You 
she said she already bought a ring, so here I am  
pulled out of the budget...                    
                                         
 “Stop,” I said. - Well, even if I  
I bought myself a ring. What about the second ring?   
                                         
 - What is the second ring? -he asked. I  
she fell silent in shock. Still, sometimes with 
It can be very difficult for them.                 
                                         
 “Answer me one question,” I began. 
very carefully. - Are you and I getting married?   
                                         
 “Yeah,” he answered just as carefully.   
                                         
 - That is, you marry me, and I leave
marry you? - I continued.           
                                         
   Sergei fell silent for a couple of minutes, talking about something... 
then thinking, but then still confirmed 
this is an indisputable fact.                   
                                         
 “That is,” I continued, “into marriage.”     
two people enter.                   
                                         
 - Well, yes.                               
                                         
 - So you need two rings! - triumphantly
I said. - To the bride and groom, right? 
                                         
   Sergei thought again.               
                                         
 -Why did you stop talking? - I couldn’t stand it. -    
Isn't that right?                                
                                         
 “Well, yes,” he said very uncertainly. 
                                         
 - Then why did you spend money on rings?
shield from the budget if you likeanyway 
Should I have bought another ring? - for-
I screamed. - You have a ring! For a wedding! What-
would like to get married!                             
                                         
 - Ir, why are you yelling? - asked dissatisfied 
he is strong. - Isn’t it possible to talk in a
OK, no scandal?                     
                                         
 - Don’t take the conversation away from me, - 
I said more quietly. - You better answer  
why did you spend the money?                  
                                         
 - Why do you boil everything down to money? - to your
it was his turn to burst out.                    
                                         
 - All the money, yes the money! In a person in   
lives should not only be mercantile
interests. There must be something for the soul 
shi.                                      
                                         
 - So this is your third stump, it turns out
for the soul, lumberjack figs? - she screamed again 
I.                                       
                                         
 - Yes! For the soul! - Sergei answered with dignity 
toinity. - The database is indexed on it   
much faster. And everything is rendered - simply
then with a whistle.                           
                                         
 - I’m not interested in what’s indexed there.
there is also this... what's his name...                 
                                         
 - Rendered,- Ser- helpfully suggested
gay.                                     
                                         
 “I don’t care,” I barked. - From where     
Shall we take the money for the rings, forester? We have  
The wedding is in two weeks.                
                                         
 - You know, I thought... - hesitantly 
he chatted.                                  
                                         
 - That I can be sent for a couple of weeks-  
to the panel? - I’m interested.         
                                         
 - God be with you! - Sergei is scared. - I   
That's not what I meant at all. I thought that  
maybe we can borrow money from dad Boris until      
weddings?                                 
                                         
 “He’s my dad,” I get angry. - And you  
he is the father-in-law. And it won't affect him  
very good impression after
you fluffed your feathers at dinner and yelled that everything 
you can do it yourself. Besides, how are you these     
Are you going to give the money?             
                                         
 - Well, they should give us a wedding gift 
some money, right? - says
he.                                      
                                         
 “We should, of course,” I agree. - But 
with this money it is customary to either buy something... 
something for living together, or spending 
for a weddingjourney. By the way, you re- 
wondered where we would go on our honeymoon    
procession after the end of my session?     
                                         
 “Wait a minute with your trip,” he stopped.
he calls me. - What to do with the rings   
shall we?                                   
                                         
 - How cleverly you shifted this problem to
me,” I say sarcastically. -Not at all-
For a long time this was only your problem.   
                                         
 “Ir,” he declares decisively. - Wife with
You should always be at the same time as your husband. Otherwise   
this is not a family, but a complete be-  
image.                                
                                         
 “Okay,” I say tiredly. - I'll ask  
money from dad Boris. I'll have to lie something... 
something. I'll say that you invested money in a
some shares, but they turned out to be inflated.
He will understand this and even sympathize.      
                                         
 “Wow,” this brat was delighted. - 
I always knew that you had a smart head 
stings - just great. It must be so great
I came up with it!                            
                                         
 “Don’t flatter me,” I cut him off. -   
It’s better to tell me right away what you still don’t have money for  
enough. Because for the first time such a form
Papa Bori's fake will work, but    
the second time is a damn thing. You know him.He sees right through everyone.                  
                                         
   Sergei thinks again. I'm patient
I'm waiting.                                     
                                         
 “It seems like there should be enough for everything,” I’m unsure.
Renno says. - I put it off at the cafe, so...
came up with my costume. For flowers and cars
us - also cooked. It's with rings   
it turned out so stupidly,” he begins 
I need to explain in the third round - because
what did you say...                        
                                         
 - Stop! - I commanded decisively. -
I know it myself. You better tell me what you're collecting-   
Are you going to give it to your bride for her wedding?   
                                         
 - To the bride? - he asks again. Strange.
Before, I didn’t notice any attacks of insanity in him.
great idiocy.                      
                                         
 “Hey, darling,” I answer, trying    
keep yourself in control. - However, if you 
Do you also want to give something to the driver?  
our wedding car - I don't mind.  
                                         
 - Should I give the bride anything? -   
he says, pretending to be completely 
willow                                   
                                         
 - Well, yes, - in the most bitchy voice possible -
catfish I say. - That's how it's supposed to be. Tradition 
like this. I don’t insist, but my parents will
they are outraged. But keep in mind that I  
I don’t count on anything like that. Pereb-  
I'm struggling without a third stump. Into the wild waste of you
I won't enter it, don't worry.                 
                                         
 “Ir,” he says pleadingly. - What? 
is it supposed to be given to the bride for her wedding? I  
I don’t know.                           
                                         
   I pause and then say:   
                                         
 - Seryozha, do you write your own programs?  
are you sewing?                                    
                                         
 “Well, yes,” he answers confidently.        
                                         
 - And no one tells you? - oil- 
I inquire in a loud voice.           
                                         
 - Nobody! - he answers decisively. - Everything
myself If I don’t know something, I fucking read it   
manual.                                  
                                         
 “Strange,” I say meaningfully. 
                                         
 - What's strange? - Ser immediately asks 
gay, never grasping the subtle irony,
sounded in my voice.              
                                         
 “Okay,” I say decisively. - We and  
We've been talking like this for two hours now. In short,  
decide for yourself what to givebride on        
wedding. That's your question. I'm not interested
I'm wondering what to give you. I decide for myself.     
                                         
 “By the way,” he perks up. - I need  
new video capturing board. Mine is already... 
                                         
 - Gifts are not made to order, - interruption -
I give it away. - The gift should be a surprise - 
zom.                                     
                                         
 - So it will be a surprise! - gets excited
he. - You can choose the model number yourself. I'll tell you 
I'll just tell you the specifications...           
                                         
 “Sergey,” I tell him in a voice in which 
The whole world's sorrow can be heard through the torus. - You tell me
heavy! Moreover, our life together is still  
it never started. What's next? Ka- 
What trials await me? - pathetically   
I say, falling into a theatrical tone.      
                                         
 “Everything will be a bundle,” says Sergei,  
at once cutting off the pathos of this moment. - So 
You won’t miss me, I assure you.      
                                         
 “Yes, I have no doubt,” he says sadly.
I say, trying to figure out if it’s possible to mark  
thread wedding celebrations or it's too late. 
                                         
 “Okay,” I decide. - I have to go. Money
I'll ask my daddy today, so    
Tomorrow we'll go buy rings. Don't forget. “I’ll be like a bayonet,” he promises. - Bye,  
beloved.                                 
                                         
 “Goodbye, Robin Hood,” I say, collecting
I'm about to hang up.                       
                                         
 - Why Robin Hood? - he asks.
                                         
 - He was also a great specialist in everything -
“I’m sorry,” I explain. - By the way, - suddenly  
I remembered the question I wanted to ask   
give - what is a “fucking manual”.   
A textbook on manual therapy, or what?   
Do you use a comb to scratch your back along your spine?
                                         
 “Well,” Sergei thinks, “it seems so-”
th. Only on computers.               
                                         
 “I see,” I say. - Okay, before      
tomorrow. And don't forget to wash your hands from yours 
piece of iron so that we ring the correct size
measure bought.                             
                                         
 “It’s done,” this scoundrel answers and 
hangs up.                           
                                         
                  * * *                  
                                         
   Find the continuation of the series on the Internet at
Comrade Exler's site ;-)