Anigdot No. 28 - After a long break, we came out again.

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  ▒▒▒▒░ ▀▀▀▀▄ Mr.ZERO
 ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▀▀▀▄ and
▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒░ ▀▀▀▀▀▄ M&G Corp.
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▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░▓▒▒░▒░ ▒▒░ ▒▒▒▒▒▒░ ▀▀▀▀▄ REPRESENT!
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░░░░ ░▓▓ ▓▓ ░ M FOR ▀▀▄ ▒▒░
░░░░░░░░░░░░░▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓ ░ E YOU.      ▀▀▀▀▄ ▒▒░
░░12.04.96░░░░ ░ R ▀▀▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄
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                        HI,PEOPLE!!!
After a long break, we came out again. Mr.ZERO has problems again
we are with the computer and it is for this reasonnew number delayed
huddled. My advice to you, if you want you to have a normal non-
glitchy computer, buy yourself a GRM2+ or PROFIЗ+.
                           BYE!!!
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                        ---ADVERTISING---

          I sell and collect phones with caller ID to order!
                  Some characteristics:

- phone case type TECHNICA P-2308 (PANASONIC family)
- extended keyboard (23 buttons)
- giant flat red indicator (90X20 mm)
- ELLIS type caller ID circuitry
- software version RUSS 20F+ (NEW)

   Some service capabilities of Caller ID "RUS-20F+" (ELLIS):

- notebook for 100 numbers
- memory for storing information about callers per 100
numbers
- memory of outgoing numbers for 100 numbers
- 10 universal alarm clocks with 20 different melodies
- number identification mode when dialing on a parallel telephone
- ANTI-Caller ID mode
- warning mode about listening to conversations by strangers
persons
- remote control mode
- individual configuration for a specific PBX
- digital volume control
- software support for voice cards (digital tape recorder)

  My pre-shaved phone comes with a 2 YEAR WARRANTY!!!
Cost - 215-225 tr, no prepayment!!! Assembly time is 3-7 days.
At the request of the customer, memory banks can be expanded to 256
rooms, as well asThe device can install a voice card

I also carry out:
- repair of caller IDs of any type
- replacing software versions with the latest ones
- memory expansion up to 256 numbers
- installation of voice cards for 1 min. and 4 min.
Voice board (digital tape recorder) is an electronic auto-
an answering device designed to record the voice of callers.
                    QUALITY GUARANTEED!!!
    Call: (095) 496-61-59 (IGOR) 16:00-22:00

√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√ √√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√

Gagarin was walking along the path and saw a girl shitting in a lilac tree.
He approached her quietly, and how he would kick her in the ass!!!
The girl rolled quickly down an obpary steep road,
Shaking the contents of the stomach along the way...
And Gagarin grinned and told her: “Fucking, know ours.”
Long ago he wiped his chrome boots with burdock,
And he went, whistling "Kalinka" in the direction of the cosmodrome,
Where the rocket was waiting for him to send him into deep space

(P)ank is walking down the street. He looks and the old woman is rummaging through the trash.
Well, the punk got into the trash and started fucking the grandma. Passers-by are indignant
-Are you completely crazy?
- Am I crazy? Yes, grandma can still be fucked, and you can fuck her,
trash...

Good day to you, dear All!
2 monkeys are sitting on a tree, one higher and the other lower.
Izhnyaya says: Oh, what a warm rain it started to rain
Top: whichever I want and I make it

A man (M) came to the bar, ordered vodka, got drunk, and then there was a Khachik
approaches, takes awaya man to a secluded place, fucked him there, and in
stuffed the man's pockets with money. Well, a man wakes up in the morning, nothing
he doesn’t remember, look, and his pockets are full of money. The man is surprised
of course, but he goes back to the same bar, and history repeats itself. And
like this several times. A week goes by like this. Once again man
comes to the bar and something like this dialogue between him and the bartender (B):
B: As usual, do you like vodka for everything?
M (after thinking): No, let’s have some cognac, otherwise I’m sick of vodka
my butt hurts for some reason...

The Red Army is the first to fight in the desert. A regiment is marching. Suddenly they saw
donkey It’s amazing, we haven’t seen such a beast. The name is a political officer. The guy is a gra-
fast-moving, I saw the locomotive twice, and in general... The political officer goes around
with a smart look around the donkey, stroking the back, touching the ears. Then
picks up his balls...
Political officer: Yessss! Judging by the eggs, this bunny is three hundred years old...

Circus! Full house!
The entertainer comes out and announces: “For the first time! Flying Crocodiles!”
Spectators:
And indeed crocodiles fly onto the stage and persistently wave their paws -
they fly around the arena, making circles.
The audience is ecstatic! Beauty!
And one crocodile, weakens and weakens, cannot hold on to it -
fell into the aisle, near a little girl. She looks at him
with enthusiastic glances, and he looks at her almost crying and
says:
- If you only knew how fucked we are here.

One day Petka approaches V.I. and says:
- Vasil Ivanovich, I’m getting ready to get married here, how can I get a wife?Can you say it better?
“This, Petka, is like two fingers on the asphalt,” VI answers him, “
Tomorrow you will have the best wife!
Well, the next day VI gathered all the women around and built them
in a line one at a time and shouted:
- Whore - step forward!!!
The entire formation, except one, moved. VI shows Petka
the only one left and says -
- This, Petka, will be your wife!
A year later, VI and Petka meet again. VI asks
- How are you and your wife?
- Yes, everything is fine, VI, the same whore as everyone else, only deaf
like tetepeb...

The landowner calls the servant:
- Vankaaaaaaaa!
What do you want, master?
- I want to fuck!
Servant (taking off his pants):
- This is self-indulgence, master, I’ll bore you with marriage....

So trust people after that!
Late at night with a full moon
My tender girlish breasts
He tied it in a knot at the back...

A man and a woman are sitting in a room and drinking coffee.
- Dear, my husband will arrive in an hour...
- Yes, but I don’t do anything!
- Well, that’s what I’m talking about too...

A man comes to the insurance company and says:
- Insure me please.
They answered him indignantly:
- What are you talking about, how can you say that!!!!!!
- What do you think sounds better?

Well, that means the Wolf (V), Fox (L) and Hamster (X) decided to leave for China.
Let's think about it.
- (Q) What will they call us there? I personally am Vui.
- (L) And I’m Lui.
- (X) And me..... And I won’t go to China!

Perhaps there was, but a very long time ago:
A man in a tight fit, standing at a bus stop and teasing his aunthair.
Suitable ment:
What are you doing!? She's in pain!
Yes, no. She's dead!

One plane crashed on a desert island. Only one survived
crew and stewardess. Two weeks have passed.
“Enough debauchery,” said the captain, and killed the stewardess.
Another two weeks passed.
“Enough debauchery,” said the captain, and buried the stewardess.
Another two weeks passed.
“Enough debauchery,” said the captain, and dug up the stewardess.

Husband (M) comes home and there is a bottle of vodka in the refrigerator
At dinner...
M: Here’s a bottle of vodka - I’ll drink it right now
wife (F): don’t drink vodka, let him stand, maybe guests
will they come or we will go to visit...
M: OK
... in bed at night
F: let’s make love, you’re worth it
M: it stands and let it stand - maybe guests will come or we will visit
let's go...

We bought Petka with V.I. goat They milked her for a year - nothing, then she died.
They took her to the vet. He was a good goat, he established
 - sorry, we jerked off...

A drunk man sat on an urn. A policeman approaches him and says:
- Sorry, but this is a place for _TRASH_.
The man stands up and politely says:
- Please sit down!

Holmes says to Watson:
- I see you visited the racketeers?
- Yes. But how did you guess, Holmes?
- Elementary, Watson! You are lying in a coffin!

A man (M) enters a subway car. And there a woman (F) sits,
lying down and stretching out his legs. (M) trips over her feet and swears:
the bitch pulled out a rake.
(F): goat, they kissed my legs yesterday, so she pulled them out.
(M): so to meyesterday we gave a blowjob, what should I do with my dick out?
walk?

One day an Indian comes to the leader of the tribe and says irritably
And - I'm tired of everything, I'm leaving your tribe!
Q - Why are you leaving? What don't you like?
And - I don’t like everything, even nicknames...
Q - Don't you like the KIND EYE?
And - No, that’s nothing...
Q - Don't you like the BIG SNAKE?
And - No, why...
Q - Do you have something against THE DANCING CLOUD?
And - Also no...
B - Well, go - BULL DICK, and think!

A beggar stood on Red Square and asked:
- Serve it, please, serve it...
EBN passes by. He stops and says:
- Uh, how can I serve you, uh, without a racket and uh ball??

Two men are sitting in heaven and telling each other who it is
died
1. - I found out that my wife is cheating on me. Was lying in wait...
Well, I’ll go home and let’s scour everywhere. I didn't find anyone. With evil
I grab the refrigerator and throw it out the window. I overstrained myself and died.
2. sits and laughs.
1. - Why are you laughing?
2. - Yes, I was in that refrigerator.

A new Russian comes to a chic car showroom and immediately to the most
throws himself at cool cars. For a long time about 600 mers walk continuously
puffing on a cigarette and finally points his finger at Silver
Metalik: "This one." The seller prepares the documents very politely
asks:
- Sorry, of course, this is of course none of my business, but you can ask,
You bought exactly the same one from us 3 days ago, was it really broken?
- No! He already has a full ashtray!

Wolfruns through the forest and sees a bun rolling.
Wolf:
- Kolobok, Kolobok, I’ll eat you!
Kolobok answers:
- Fuck you, I’m not a bun, I’m a hedgehog!
Wolf:
- Why is he so bald?
Hedgehog:
- Gillette - there is no better thing for a man!

Schwarzenegger rides on a tram. The controller approaches.
- Your ticket, please!
- ..? I am Schwarzenegger.
- Your ticket, PLEASE!
- I repeat, I am Schwarzenegger!!
- YOUR TICKET, PLEASE!!!
Schwartz takes a metal ruble and, having punched it in the composter, hands it
controller.
“It would have been like this a long time ago,” the controller says coldly, and tears up the ruble.

The business traveler was placed in the same room with the lady. He's scary
tired, undresses, lies down. The lady from the next bed gives him that
languidly:
- I'm hot! Please open the window!
The man sighs, gets up, and opens it. In a minute:
- I'm cold! Close the window!
The man walks and closes it. And so - several times. Finally a woman
says:
- Why don’t you treat me like you treat your wife?
- What about your wife?! Then go close the window yourself. Stupid.

Men tell each other jokes on the train.
- Do you know what the difference is between a donkey and a policeman?
At this time, the policeman who had been eavesdropping at the door enters the compartment.
- W-well?!! So what's the difference?
- Nah... Nah... None!
- Hm. That's it!

A punk sits on a crowded tram. A disabled person enters and stands up
next to him and says:
- Milok, I lost my leg in 1943.
Punk - zero attention. That one again:
- Milok, I’m on the 43rd leglost.
Punk:
- Eh, don’t dig in, grandfather! I went in 1943 and didn’t see yours there
legs.

They are having dinner at the house. The doorbell rings. They open it and there is a beggar on the doorstep.
Requests:
- For Christ's sake, I haven't eaten anything for two days.
The owner, picking his teeth:
- Will you eat yesterday’s borscht?
Beggar:
- Yes, yes, of course!!!
Owner:
- Then come tomorrow!

Two people are lying in a haystack on a moonlit summer night and silently studying
love. Finally a strangled whisper is heard:
- Well, why do you keep eating and eating and eating, well, just say a word,
you insensitive dumbass!
In response:
- What can I say? Well, I love you, Mikheich...

A man (M) comes to a sex therapist (S):
M - Doctor, I’m married, but I’m not worth it!
The doctor looked and prescribed him pills. After n number
days he comes again:
M - Doctor, don't!
D - I prescribed you pills, are you taking them?
M - Yes!
D - So you try with someone else, maybe it will work?
For example with a neighbor!
M - Ha, well, I can get along with my neighbor without pills!

A new type of weapon was sent to Chapaev’s regiment, a rocket, well, it’s a year old
It's worth two, it's all rusty. Suddenly a telegram arrives at the regiment
inspection, well, they quickly began to put everything in order, suddenly
VI remembered about this miracle of technology. Calls P and says:
VI: - P, here’s some paint, a brush, you’ll find a ladder along the road, go urgently -
but paint the rocket!
Well, he did just that, came to criticize, painted painted to the top not to-
what to do, he took a bucket of paint, shook it and threw it,bucket
put on the rocket's spire, the paint spread, the rocket was painted,
I tried to remove it, but it didn't work.
P comes to VI and reports:
P: - The order is completed! The rocket is painted!
The inspector (In) arrives, they were shown everything:
In: - Oh, what order you have!
Well, VI decided to boast:
VI: - We have a new, powerful weapon!
And shows a rocket.
The inspector looks in admiration, suddenly moves away, looks up and
asks:
In: - What is that whist upstairs?
VI to Petka:
VI in a whisper: - What is that there?
P in a whisper: - There weren’t enough stairs, so I threw the bucket, but to remove
I couldn't.
VI thought: - Oh, this is a reflector!
In: - I see for myself that this is a reflector! I ask why he doesn't
painted?

They married a guy, but he doesn’t even know about sex! And asks
mothers what to do.
- Well, you know, son, women have a hole, but men have growth. You
stick the growth into the hole and then nature will help...
The next day, the bride fearfully asks her mother:
- Listen, I have a strange husband, he stuck his nose up his ass at night and
shouted all night “Nature, help!”

Two people think about where to crush the bubble. One (guest G) says:
“Come to me, only my wife and mother-in-law are at home, they will scream!”
Another (owner X): “Well, come to me!” They come, the wife also buys
boredom on the table, mother-in-law helps undress, well, they are one bubble con-
chili, the mother-in-law took out another, they pulled one more and went to eat
rit. Further dialogue between G and X:
G: - How did you manage to wean your wife andshould I yell at my mother-in-law?
H: - Simple. We had a cat. One day I come home and she’s sitting
on the table, I came up, stroked it, sat it on the floor and said: “Kisa is
your first warning." Time has passed, I see him sitting on it again
I walked up to the table, I stroked it, sat it on the floor and said: “Kisa is
you have a second warning." Time passes, I sit again and take it
and threw her out the window from the fifth floor.
G: - So what?
X: - And the fact that the wife has one warning, and the mother-in-law has two!

John Lennon(L) fell ill and was sent to a psychiatric hospital for treatment.
sk clinic. Paul Makkapthu (M) came to visit him. Fuck (M)
first to the doctor(d).
(M) - Doctor, what’s wrong with him?
(e) - It’s a bad thing, he has delusions of grandeur.
Distressed (M) enters (L)’s room.
(M) - John, what’s wrong with you, how are you doing this?
(L) - Don’t come closer, I’m Joseph Kobzon!

A man comes to the doctor:
(M) - Doctor, there’s something wrong with my balls...
(B) - Let's see...
He looks and smears brilliant green on the right egg. Takes a piece of paper, something
writes.
(B) - Take this into the next office.
Gives him the paper. The man goes into the next office.
(B) - Let's see...
He looks and reads the paper. Smears the left egg with iodine. Attributes something
then on the same paper and sends it back to the first doctor.
The guy loaded up. I thought about it and decided to read what they wrote there.
Reads: "Christ is risen! Truly risen!"

A man comes to the doctor and complains:
(M) - Doctor, my penis has turned blue!
(B) - Hmmm! Difficult case!
Prescribes pills, invitesin a week.
In a week.
(M) - Doctor, my penis has turned black!!!
(B) - Hmmm... Apparently, it won’t be possible to save... Get ready for amputation!
A sad man goes to the healer and complains.
The healer looked, thought, and said:
(Z) - Tell your secretary not to konupkamu anymore
I was wiping myself!

At school, the teacher tells the children about safety rules:
- When walking around a construction site, be sure to wear a helmet! Here
Once there was such a case: a girl and a boy were walking near a construction site -
staying at home, the girl was wearing a helmet, and the boy was not. Here they are
my head fell over a brick. The boy died, and the girl laughed and
I went further.
Voice from class:
- Yes, I know this girl! She still walks there and laughs!

Two Chukchi killed a huge walrus while hunting. They pulled him out
to the shore, grabbed by the tail and dragged into the yaranga. Walrus with tusks
clings to the ground, the wet tail slips out of the hands, in general
not work, but katopra.
They meet a Russian geologist. He tells them: “You, Chukchi, would
They took it by the fangs, it will be more convenient to drag."
The Chukchi took the walrus by the tusks and dragged it away.
After some time, one says to the other: “However, the Russian
smart guy got caught."
Another replies: “Yes, where is the smart one, however, they came back to the sea!

A fairy flies along a country road. Looks - stands aside
a tank and three tankmen are riveting the truck with sledgehammers. It’s hot, the sweat is pouring
Yami, it’s high time to leave and the tankers speak accordingly
out loud my attitude towards thistank, this tpaky, etc.
The fairy flies up and asks:
- What are you doing here?
The tankers responded:
- Don’t you see, we’re fucking with a tank.
The fairy asks: do you want it for real?
The tankers perked up - of course we want to!
The fairy waved her wand - and quack! - the turret from the tank fell onto
the road.

In the buffet, a gloomy guy chews a pie and finds a hair in it
Approaches the barmaid:
- What do you have with your pies?
- With eggs.
- You need to shave!

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                           HELLO:
ALEX,JAM,ART SOFT,STRYKER,CYBORG,OLDMAN,KSA,VALERY,STS,SRR,
VDV Corp.,VT MASTER,PCI SOFT,409 SOFT,BOS FROM L.O.S.W,STEVER,
DR.LONGMAN,DR.ALCOHOL,AND OTHER SYSOP'S,USER'S AND HACKER'S.
√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√ √√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√√
                          CREDITS:
IDEA BY Mr.ZERO & M&G Corp.
INTRO BY M&G Corp.
EDIT BY M&G Corp.
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