Part two - All Panimnoshka...

Anecdotes #01

                                          
Part Two (All Panimnoshku):          

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 Prisoners in a prison cell:                  
 First:                                  
 -Kolya loves Mamba!                       
 Second:                                  
 -Tolya loves Mamba!                       
 Negro (in the corner mutters to the camera under his breath):   
 -And Mamba hates everyone...               
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
 Vovochka to his father:                          
 -Dad, where does beer grow?                 
 -Beer, my son is not growing. Beer son up-   
there are!                                   
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
2.15 am - phone call:            
 - Hello, is this the police?                      
 -Yes!                                     
 - Hello, is this the police?                      
 -Yes!                                     
 -And this is Blade!.. (short beeps).        
2.20 - call to the police:                  
 - Hello, is this the police?                     
 -Yes!                                     
 -And this is Blade!.. (short beeps).        
2.30 - doorbell rings:                    
 -Is this Blade?-Yes!                                     
 -And this is the police...                        
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
First of September. 8th grade. Information lesson   
matiki. New teacher introduces herself  
 students:                                
 -Hello, my name is Alexandra     
Matbeebha. I will teach you to work for   
computer...                             
 Blade (with tip):                     
 -Alexandra Matbeebha, I’m working today   
I can't work!                           
 Teacher (surprised):              
 -What's the matter?                             
 Blade (mockingly):                      
 -And I have sexual exhaustion!             
 Alexandra Matbeebha (sarcastically):        
 -WELL, BY THE KEYBOARD AND YOUR LEFT HAND BY-  
KNOCK!                                  
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
At Rave's Party:                        
 -Hello ambulance? Here we have Ironman pro-  
Lotil corkscrew!                             
 -We're leaving now! Tell me, and you yourself     
did you do anything?                   
 -Certainly! Open with a fork...            
                                          
            * * *- Doctor, my nose hurts...             
 - Yes, your grandmother has syphilis!              
 - Doctor, my nose hurts...             
 - Yes, your grandmother has syphilis!              
 -Here's a blast, darling! I'm already scared    
What a flu!..                              
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
 Natasha dances with Lieutenant Rzhevsky.     
 -Lieutenant, tell me something interesting-  
sleepy...                                   
 -With pleasure, sir! One day when we    
went to fuck horses...                 
 -Rzhevsky! Shame on you! -Natasha     
she runs away in tears to complain to her father.     
 -Oh, daddy, this Rzhevsky is so low-  
what a man!                              
 “Yes, low,” the father agrees.           
-Whenever we went to fuck lo-  
Shady, he took a stool with him...       
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
 Semyon thought for a long time about where to invest his  
money and bought a cattle farm.   
 I came to get acquainted with the farm. walks  
looks, suddenly some people run up to him  
assholes-OVERFILES. Semyon:                  
 -What's the matter?                             
 -Did you call the insemination technicians?-Ah... Well, yes! In short: the cows are over there,   
here’s a washbasin to wash your hands, and here’s a nail-   
hang up dick pants...                     
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
 Natasha, dancing with Lieutenant Rzhevsky:     
 -Lieutenant, what are you doing on my back-  
no?!                                      
 -I'm looking for breasts, sir!                            
 -Yes, they are in front...                    
 - I already looked there, sir...                    
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
 Frosty winter day. On the ice of the river   
house with a hole, a fisherman sits with a fishing rod. Under-  
another walks:                             
 -Well, is it biting?                          
First fisherman (without opening his mouth):           
 -Mmm...                                
 -And you come across big ones?                   
 -Mmm...                                
 - why are you all mooing, you can’t say a word  
What's wrong with you?                              
 -I'm warming worms...                          
                                          
            * * *                 
                                          
 A guide leads a group of tourists around     
cave.                                   
 -Please note: to our right is a group-  
na skeletons!-Curious how they got here?         
 -We decided to save on a tour guide...    

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