Part One (And Chapai is a quick bastard...)
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-Vasil Ivanovich, the cartridges are out!
-All of them?
- That's right!
-Stop shooting!
* * *
-Vasil Ivanovich, Furmanov was electrocuted!
-How so, Petka?
-The battery fell on his head...
* * *
Morning. Vasil Ivanovich comes into the room with a hangover.
headquarters and sees: Petka is sitting and drinking something
Chapai's eyes sparkled:
- Hello Petka! What are you doing to give you a hangover?
what about that? A?
-Shit!
-No, I’m seriously asking, what are you drinking?
- Shit!
-No, I'm seriously asking, what are you drinking?
-Shit.
- Well, really, what are you drinking?
-Nesquik coffee...
-So this is shit!!!
-What am I saying?!
* * *-Petka, why are you late from dismissal?
telny?
- Yes, Valya Ivanovich, I went to the theater.
-Where, where?.. Well, you have to drink like that-
I'm trying to get to the theater!
* * *
Petka and Vasil Ivanovich went to America
riku to the Great Lakes, well, to hunt there -
Come on, catch some fish. We arrived and installed
tent, fishing rod, well, let's go
give my daughter a drink. Then suddenly it taxis
we’ve thrown out a tent, a fishing rod, and let’s go
give my daughter a drink. Then suddenly it taxis
a crowd of Indians surrounded the hunters and
they stand there, very dissatisfied with something.
Vasil Ivanovich:
-Petka, find out what they want?
Petka (returning):
-They say that you can catch fish here...
only to the Indians.
-Tell them that I had them all in my mouth!
Petka goes out to the Indians and gives them
Chapai's words. Here a huge man emerges from the crowd
a handsome Indian and menacingly asks:
- And me or what?!
Petka:
-Who are you?
-I'm Big Bison!
-Sorry, but we don’t rape cattle.* * *
-Vasil Ivanovich, what is erotica?
-And this is Petka, when after the fight he settled down like that-
-Vasil Ivanovich, what is erotica?
-And this is Petka, when after the fight he got so comfortable-
You feel like you don’t have the energy for pornography anymore
remains.
* * *
-Petka, why aren’t you present during the battle?
was it visible?
- Yes, I, Vasil Ivanovich, ran into the forest
great need.
Chapai gives the order: comb the forest, find
ty excrement. After a while
soldiers come:
-Allow me to report: human de-
no armor was found anywhere, only a bear's...
-Well Petka, how do you explain this?!
-You know, Vasil Ivanovich, that I
It's time to fight the beast!
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