Scream #02 29 января 2002

Самиздат

Мозги - dick is out of my pants!.

|dick is out of my pants! 
|mimic, june 2ooo 


        .
kristoph. 
        .привет;D сегодня зажигают парни из ascii команды mimic.
        .мой вам  совет:  преодолейте  свою лень и прочтите этот
        .текст, не пожалеете - точно ;D
        .
        .
   david.
        .That's  really  entertaining. Seriously. Read it. Thats
        .the  best  conversation  i've  ever had on #mimic. I've
        .even  edited  the  colors for better understanding. And
        .god knows im a lazy bastard.
        .
        .


The greatest conversation on #mimic.
 
Featuring :
+-- david____ as aeternam
+-- robin____ as drshizuma
+-- jeff_____ as black jack
+-- lame`     as lame

The  plot: David  talked to a girl in his city bus. And his dick
was out of his pants.

----------------------------------------------------------------
Start of #mimic buffer: Fri Jun 09 20:35:14 2000
  this town and meeting new people
<blk_jack> Where ya moving out to? :) 
<lame`> Edmonton! 
<blk_jack> In latest news 
<lame`> I'll give you the url for the apartment :) 
<blk_jack> DAVID'S DICK WAS HANGING OUT OF HIS PANTS 
<blk_jack> AND HE DIDN'T NOTICE. 
<blk_jack> UNTIL AFTER HE GOT OFF THE BUS 
<blk_jack> 'CAUSE HE'S A DUMBASS 
<lame`> Heh, SO i am hearing 
<blk_jack> David how could you NOT notice?! 
<david____> i didnt 
<david____> thats all 
<blk_jack> Did you walk all the way to the busstop like that? 
<blk_jack> What the fuck?! 
<lame`> hahahah 
<david____> no 
<david____> i crouched when i entered the bus 
<david____> thats prolly when it got off 
<blk_jack> I see... 
<blk_jack> Man 
<blk_jack> You know what would've been perfect?  If she had 
  grabbed your dick & started licking it.
<blk_jack> But she didn't, sucka. 
<lame`> haha 
<blk_jack> David, man 
<blk_jack> I didn't know your actual dick was hanging out. 
<blk_jack> Man 
<blk_jack> You dumb dumb ass :) 
*** blk_jack is now known as jeff____ 
<lame`> Was it actually hanging out? not just visible? 
<robin____> huh? 
*** jeff____ is now known as jeff_____ 
<jeff_____> WOO 
<david____> my shirt was in my pants 
<jeff_____> It was visible. 
<jeff_____> His dick was HANGING OUT OF HIS PANTS 
<jeff_____> How could this happen?! 
<david____> i told you 
<robin____> ... 
<david____> i crouched 
<robin____> did this happen? 
<david____> and since my fly was unzipped 
<robin____> or is jeff playing games? 
<david____> and there's no buttons on my boxers 
<david____> ..it got off 
<lame`> http://www.bestplacetolive.com/template.cfm?cid=296 
<lame`> check out the 'cool' virtual tour 
<robin____> heh 
<david____> thats prolly why she giggled or whatever 
<robin____> ... 
<robin____> what the hell? 
<david____> robin____: scroll up 
<robin____> i saw jeff saying first 
<robin____> so like. 
<david____> my fly was unzipped 
<david____> i entered the bus 
<david____> kinda crouched 
<david____> and my dick got off 
<david____> ... and i noticed when i got off the bus 
<robin____> is this a joke? 
<robin____> hahaha 
<lame`> did you sit down? 
<robin____> dear god. 
<lame`> or just crouch the whole way 
<robin____> and nobody in the bus stared at you? 
<robin____> or lauged? 
<robin____> laughed.. 
<jeff_____> Or went 
<david____> i dont remember 
<robin____> ... 
<jeff_____> "Excuse me sir, your cock is hanging out of your 
  pants."
<robin____> and you had a conversation with this girl? 
<david____> robin____: yeh 
<robin____> while your dick was hanging out? 
<david____> i was standing up 
<jeff_____> Hahahah 
<jeff_____> HAHAHAHA 
<lame`> hahaahahaha 
<robin____> what the fuck.. 
<david____> she was sitting in front of me 
<robin____> this is the weirdest crap ever. 
<jeff_____> How could you not notice? 
<david____> and i was standing up in front of her 
<david____> jeff_____: i noticed 
<david____> i told you 
<robin____> hahahaha 
<jeff_____> AFTER 
<robin____> standing infront of her 
<jeff_____> I would've noticed the second I felt my dick come 
  out of my pants.
<robin____> with your dick out.. 
<robin____> oh man.. 
<robin____> david, this could be very good for you, or very bad. 
<robin____> heheh 
<jeff_____> Yea 
<jeff_____> Did she wink 
<jeff_____> and/or lick her lips? 
<david____> no 
<robin____> oh man 
<lame`> If your cock was hanging out of your pants, HOW CAN YOU 
  NOT FEEL IT
<jeff_____> lame`: EXACTLY 
<david____> she had this weird look on her face 
<lame`> it's mind -boggling 
<robin____> yeh david, you are uncircumsized 
<david____> lame`: i didnt notice 
<david____> stress, i guess 
<jeff_____> David probably has a numb dick from jerking off too 
  much
<robin____> like you are extra-sensitive to the temputures 
<robin____> man 
<lame`> well, at least you didn't get a boner 
<robin____> hahaha 
<robin____> lame; maybe he did 
<jeff_____> lame`: Oh man 
<david____> i didnt 
<jeff_____> That would've been the worst. 
<lame`> that would have been the best 
<jeff_____> When you were talking to her, Daivd 
<robin____> if he didn't notice he had it out, he may of not 
  noticed that either.
<jeff_____> Was she looking at your face? 
<david____> jeff_____: no 
<david____> i dont really remember though 
<jeff_____> robin____: how could you not notice?! 
<jeff_____> Dude, blind people notice that shit 
<robin____> man i would be traumatized.. 
<jeff_____> Anyone can sense it. 
<jeff_____> robin____: Me too 
<david____> i didnt have a boner 
<jeff_____> David's taking it pretty well. 
<robin____> yeh.. 
<david____> jeff_____: i just realized it 
<jeff_____> JUST? 
<david____> yeh 
<david____> well 
<jeff_____> AS soon as I got off the bus I would've been like 
  "OH NO, MY DICK!"
<robin____> maybe you are mistaken? 
<david____> that she saw me. 
<david____> when i got off the bus 
<david____> i thought about it 
<david____> got it back in my pants. 
<lame`> AS soon as My dick popped out of my pants, I would be 
  like, oh no, my dick
<jeff_____> lame`: me too 
<david____> so yeh 
<david____> i got it back in my pants 
<david____> then like 
<jeff_____> "Oh well, maybe she didn't notice my dick inches 
  away from her face."
<robin____> how did your dick get out of your pants? 
<david____> robin____: my fly was unzipped 
<robin____> yeh 
<david____> and i had to crouch kinda 
<robin____> and? 
<jeff_____> ..and his boxers button is missing. 
<david____> when i got in the bus 
<robin____> hahaha 
<david____> and my shirt was in my pants :| 
<lame`> man, you must have flung that thing 
<david____> flung? 
<jeff_____> Yea 
<robin____> david must have a numb dick 
<jeff_____> How violently did you crouch? 
<david____> numb? 
<jeff_____> Did you like, duck & roll or something?! 
<david____> i just crouched man 
<david____> because i kinda missed a stair 
<jeff_____> Hahahah 
<lame`> did you have a boner at the time? 
<david____> lame`: no 
<lame`> :) 
<robin____> this is why i wear tight underwear 
<jeff_____> Tight? 
<david____> so y'know 
* jeff_____ cringes 
<robin____> heh 
<david____> i got it back on 
<jeff_____> I wear boxers... 
<david____> came back home 
<david____> drank a coke can 
<david____> and everything was back on the rack 
<jeff_____> The actual can? 
<lame`> I can't get the image of a french kid falling on to the 
  bus, poking his dick out, and than talking to a girl.
<lame`> out of my head 
<david____> not a girl 
<david____> the girl. 
<jeff_____> > >>>> > << Things to do @ Wal-Mart while the spouse 
  is taking his / her
<jeff_____> > >>>sweet 
<jeff_____> > >>>> >  time! 
<jeff_____> > >>>> > 
<jeff_____> > >>>> >     1. Get boxes of condoms and randomly 
  put them in
<jeff_____> > >>>> >     people's carts when they don't realize 
  it.
<robin____> i am just surprised this girl did not act compleatly 
  horrified
<jeff_____> Guys, it was a THE girl. 
<robin____> she must of seen a lot of dick 
<david____> robin____: she sounded weird though 
<lame`> hahahaha 
<jeff_____> A GIRL IN DAVID'S BUS SAW HIS DICK! 
<david____> robin____: shut the fuck up 
<jeff_____> Yea 
<lame`> david____: maybe its a good thing 
<david____> maybe 
<lame`> maybe she'll ask to see it again. 
<david____> but.. im thinking about it. 
*** robin____ changes topic to '7 days until pack release, #24!! 
- A GIRL IN DAVID'S CITY BUS SAW IS DICK!' 
<robin____> heh 
<david____> that was the fail in my plan 
<david____> i didnt think about the 
<jeff_____> Seeing a dick randomly out in the open wasn't a big 
  deal to her apparently
<robin____> david; don't think anymore 
<jeff_____> She must get it a lot 
<lame`> jeff_____: must be a french thing 
<robin____> thinking at the point will get you in trouble. 
<jeff_____> Yea, a french thing 
<jeff_____> OR A SLUT THING!! 
<jeff_____> :) 
<david____> that was the fail in my plan 
<david____> i didnt think about the 
<david____> "maybe my dick will fall off my boxers" 
<jeff_____> Hahah 
<robin____> heheheh 
<david____> so yeh. i'll ask her, monday 
<jeff_____> Ask her what?!?! 
<david____> if she saw my dick when it was out of my pants 
<robin____> about? 
<robin____> no!! 
<jeff_____> Hahahhahaha 
<david____> why not? 
<robin____> don't ask her! 
<jeff_____> Don't do that! 
<lame`> Hahahahahahhahahahahah 
<robin____> act like in never happened! 
<robin____> and if she points it out.. 
<robin____> say "so?" 
<jeff_____> "Hey girl, I was wondering... uhm, did you see my 
  dick out of my pants on the bus the other day?"
<robin____> hehehehe 
<jeff_____> "Why yes David, may I suck it." 
<jeff_____> IS THIS WHAT YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN? 
<jeff_____> 'CAUSE IT WON'T! 
<robin____> jeff; no way man. 
<robin____> yeh 
<lame`> Than she'll just call you City Bus Penis Boy.... 
<robin____> you can't ask her if she saw! 
<david____> why not? 
<robin____> that is the worst thing to do! 
<jeff_____> Yea, she's like... 
<david____> there's nothing wrong in going 
<jeff_____> "David, i saw your dick." 
<lame`> WHAT IF SHE DIDNT SEE IT 
<jeff_____> "So what baby?" 
<david____> "My dick was out of my pants last thursday. Did you 
  notice?"
<david____> lame`: i dont know 
<david____> yeh 
<robin____> david; nonono 
<david____> i wont ask her 
<lame`> than its like, uh, I was just kidding 
<david____> lame`: not really 
<jeff_____> [19:25:05] <david____> "My dick was out of my pants 
  last thursday. Did you notice?"  That's the motherfucking mi-
  mic #24 file_id.diz quote.
<robin____> carry on with just doing the same thing. 
<david____> i could go mib style with her 
<david____> with the red flash 
<david____> or whatever 
<jeff_____> Hahah 
<robin____> wait.. 
<david____> *RED FLASH* 
<jeff_____> Man, Quebec is fucked up. 
<lame`> I think you've flashed her enough 
<robin____> was this the 1st time you talked to her? 
<david____> hahaha 
<robin____> or like, today? 
<david____>  ahahahha 
<jeff_____> lame`: AHHAHahahahahha 
<david____> hahah 
<david____> hahahah lame` 
<jeff_____> hahaahaha 
<robin____> ... 
<david____> hhfkjhfghaaha 
<robin____> not that funny. 
<lame`> heh. 
<jeff_____> Yea it was, that was great. 
<jeff_____> I'm lol'ing. 
<robin____> ... 
<robin____> !. 
<david____> im rotfling 
<jeff_____> I'm roflmao'ing 
<david____> so yeh 
<david____> what should i do? 
<lame`> I'm masturbating. 
<robin____> ... 
<lame`> er wait... 
<david____> not talk about it? 
<jeff_____> david____: Dunno, you're fucked now. 
<robin____> david; wait.. 
<robin____> let me know something here. 
<jeff_____> Wait, you have a 9 inch monster frenchman dick, 
  right?
<jeff_____> So the fact that she saw it is no big deal, right? 
<robin____> i heard frenchies have small dicks 
<jeff_____> robin____: yea, I'd imagine that too. 
<jeff_____> All those years of assfucking has genetically 
  altered their penis length to be skinnier.
<robin____> david; okay. you talked to her, like for the first 
  time yesterday
<robin____> is this when it had happened? 
<robin____> or. 
<robin____> was it today? 
<jeff_____> Yesterday 
<david____> robin____: yesterday 
<jeff_____> HEh 
<david____> when i talked to her 
<robin____> okay 
<jeff_____> The only day he talked to her 
<jeff_____> ..and it happened. 
<robin____> so the first time you talked to her 
<robin____> you had your dick hanging out. 
<robin____> heh 
<jeff_____> That's hurtin 
<david____> yeh.. it wasnt that great of a first impression, eh? 
<robin____> i dunno.. 
<lame`> At least it can't get worse, right? 
<david____> :( 
<robin____> david; i would say ignore it.. 
<david____> robin____: should i talk to her monday? 
<david____> and hope she didnt notice? 
<jeff_____> David 
<robin____> go ahead yeh 
<lame`> david____: she didn't run away crying, so obviously she 
  didnt mind too much
<jeff_____> Call her! 
<robin____> and if she points shit out. 
<jeff_____> lame`: Heh 
<robin____> you better pretend it didn't happen. :) 
<robin____> heh 
<jeff_____> girl: "AHHH!! PENIS!" 
<robin____> OR 
<jeff_____> david____: "WHERE? WHERE?" 
<david____> should i go 
<david____> it was my tie 
<robin____> if you like this better... act like you don't care. 
<david____> or my belt 
<robin____> because you already seem to not care much about it. 
<david____> robin____: i do care 
<david____> i fucked up my first impression 
<robin____> not as much as the average person 
<david____> how come? 
<robin____> you didn't fuck up, it is fucked up. :) 
<lame`> haha 
<david____> what tells you im not freaking out here? 
<jeff_____> "Uhm, girl.. incase you were wondering.. that 
  wasn't my dick on Thursday.. it was a fake dick.. I did it to,
  uh, impress you!"
<lame`> Dirk diggler 
<lame`> style 
<robin____> dav; and.. you could be wrong 
<robin____> so i wouldn't say anything. 
<lame`> Did you see her today? 
<david____> no school 
<lame`> ah. 
<david____> anyway 
<david____> monday i wont put my shirt in my pants 
<david____> and wear two pairs of boxers 
<david____> and zip my fly 
<lame`> I think just having your pants done up is the main point 
  to work on.
<robin____> maybe get rid of your dick too 
<jeff_____> Yea 
<robin____> to be safe 
<jeff_____> cut it off 
<jeff_____> Just to be safe 
<lame`> then he would just have a stump hanging out 
<robin____> re-attach it when you really need it. 
<jeff_____> hahaha 
<david____> maybe kind missle is like me 
<david____> thats why he did a detachable penis tune 
<robin____> yes.. 
<david____> so yeh. i fucked up, eh? 
<robin____> no 
<lame`> nah 
<robin____> not exactly 
<robin____> it is a twist of fate david 
<jeff_____> What do you guys mean no? 
<jeff_____> His dick was hanging out 
<jeff_____> That's NEVER happened to me. 
<lame`> jeff_____: maybe if it did, you'd meet french chicks too 
<jeff_____> Hrm, maybe. 
<david____> lame`: lets say you talk to a girl you wanted to 
  talk to for like, 4months. she's sitting in front of you. and
  your dick is hanging out of your pants.
<david____> what would you do 
<lame`> how that's a good thing, I odn't know... 
<david____> hey. stop doing those french chicks jokes 
<lame`> david____: Uh. Move. 
<lame`> to edmonton 
<robin____> it's just a twist of fate david 
<robin____> it happened... 
<david____> robin____: i dont give a fuck, it happened 
<david____> what can i do? 
<robin____> you have no controll now. :) 
<jeff_____> Oh well, David 
<robin____> i think this will take a life of its own. 
<jeff_____> You're okay unless she saw your tattoo of the word 
  "Robin" on the side of your shaft.
<jeff_____> 'cause if she saw that, you're fucked. 
<lame`> david____: just try it again, to see what she does. 
<robin____> .. 
<david____> if i end up going out with her, when i'll get my 
  pants off, she'll prolly say something "im experiencing deja
  vu" or whatever
<robin____> you guys have shit advice. 
<david____> yeh 
<david____> robin is the man 
<david____> richard is a faggoth 
<david____> but a faggoth with pants 
<david____> :( 
<robin____> sometimes when you're building up to one point.. 
<david____> you know how i felt? 
<robin____> like, unexpected shit can happen 
<david____> i felt like in "brad : the game" 
<robin____> it's like the universe invested in that moment. 
<david____> yeh i know 
<lame`> david____: if she doesn't care, it probably shows that 
  she likes you
<david____> lame`: she did care 
<david____> she had this weird look on her face 
<robin____> at this point, i can not really see you not hearing 
  from her again
<lame`> by care, I mean get completely grossed out, or laugh in 
  your face, or run away, etc.
<robin____> it could be bad or good 
<robin____> i dunno. 
<lame`> Of all the days... 
<jeff_____> I dunno Rob 
<jeff_____> Remember the first time we met? 
<robin____> ???? 
<robin____> yeh what about it? 
<jeff_____> You were in the chair at the institute. 
<jeff_____> Reading 
<jeff_____> Well, imagine I was walkiung up to you & I had my 
  dick hanging out of my pants.
<jeff_____> ..and I never noticed. 
<david____> thats what i think too 
<jeff_____> ..and my dick was just swinging around & I was like 
  "Hey Rob, what's up!?"
<robin____> hurm 
<jeff_____> ..and then imagine I turned suddenly and my dick 
  smacked you in the eye & you yelled out "AHH, MY EYE!"
<jeff_____> and I bent down to help you, and in the process I 
  thrust my dick into your open mouth?
<jeff_____> ..and then imagine we had a homoerotic experience? 
<robin____> i think i would of had an other mental breakdown 
<david____> so yeh 
<david____> god 
<david____> waiting for the good occasion wasnt good. 
<david____> i cant believe my dick was out of my pants. 
<lame`> I don't think anyone can. 
<lame`> I'm taking this girl to the movies tomorrow. 
<david____> thats cool 
<lame`> Yea, I don't know what she thinks of me though 
<lame`> I fell with my head in her lap last friday 
<lame`> Fell asleep that is 
<david____> you know what to do 
<david____> zip your fly 
<lame`> I don't think I will _ever_ forget to zip my fly after 
  today
*** Retrieving #mimic info... 
<david____> why? :) 
<lame`> no reason :) 
<david____> op me 
<lame`> We don't need protection against anything anybody might 
  say!
<lame`> op me 
<david____> erm.. yeh 
<david____> :D 
<lame`> heh 
*** jeff_____ sets mode: +oo david____ lame` 
*** jeff_____ sets mode: +v wkz 
<jeff_____> bbiaf 
<jeff_____> Ident with the bots 
*** david____ changes topic to '7 days until pack release, 
  #24!!'
<david____> guys 
<jeff_____> You fags :) 
<david____> it was.. a joke! 
<david____> she didnt see my dick 
<david____> but. this is our secret.. eh? :) 
<lame`> heh. 
End of #mimic buffer    Fri Jun 09 20:35:14 2000