Optron #15 24 июля 1998

Самиздат

Lit. Page - Grief "Y" (Diary of Laboratory J. scalp).

               Litstranichka



(R) Infarh


  Well, read it and we are one
story on the horrors of the watch for us
in the future ... But do not panic! Our destiny
has always been and will remain in our hands and
will depend on what we will do it. The next piece of literature
(Ie what you're reading now)
just and dedicated people who are not afraid to
challenging puzzle events neob'yasnimym modern science and 
often beyond the face reality. Who are these intrepid knights 
of destiny? Unfortunately, we no right to open the names of 
these characters: for and the enemy does not sleep ... However, 
those who sometimes watching television (eg news or

serials are), be sure to guess
'm talking about! And so, welcome them!

  All names in the story are fictional. Any
association with any real people
is purely accidental.



               Grif "Y"

     (Blogs laboratory J. scalp)



(C) Yuri Zimkovich


                Entry

           The mysterious floppy disk


  Everything started with the fact that once an employee of the 
Central Office of the SBU Max Maloderov a doll, standing in his 
sideboard chief, found a floppy disk with the stigma

"Y", which lists the mysterious crime, and not disclosed by 
police. 

  Since then, the brave agent, to join the
Inquiry judiciously and tenacious Jeanne Scalp - 
samootverennuyu worker special laboratory at the morgue Special 
Security Service (Jeanne colleagues affectionately called him 
"truparney") - deals with the mysterious theft of food, the 
facts of pregnancy without the participation of fathers, sudden

deaths in the drunk tank, and other paranormal ...



                 Part I

         The Case of the flying sausage


                Best fish - is salami.


                         Folk wisdom



  09/23/1996, Monday, Kiev


  I bought some makeup "Oriflame" and new
Pantyhose.

  Again called Maloderov: have an interesting
case. Every Friday morning from 7.00 to 7.35
in the town of Ore recorded flight of a UFO
type sausage Moscow between the counter
N38 grocery store and a house on the street. Kennedy, 9.

  What is the cause of this mysterious flight?
How and where to disappear every week, stick
sausage $ 1 USD. 80 kopecks.?

  It is this mystery to us with Max and
to be unraveled.



  09/25/1996, Wednesday, Ore, Lviv region.


  Upon arrival at the point of paranormal manifestations and I 
Maloderov distributed work: He went to the grocery store N38 - 
find out disappear if they have on Fridays, "Moscow", and if so 
- under what circumstances, my own objective was to bring Help 
at home N9. 

  The first one I found there was women who had been my servant,
but knowing that I am from the SBU, she immediately slammed the 
door. 

  Other residents said that about any
flying sausage and they never heard
(Still would be this - the secret information:
SBU keeps its secrets!), But readily
told that the neighbors from above pour it, and
from the balcony of the third floor to the bottom has fallen
mouse, and then in the square. N6 above
successfully opened a seed - and other unimportant facts.

  Tenant apartment. N8 on the 3 rd floor of the said
Shopping sausage is too expensive to
without rhyme or reason to fly, which should not be, and that 
he preferred fish. Even tea is not treated. 

  But my companion, besides the fact that in
N38 grocery store is a relatively cheap
servilat learned that the morning light shows grocery store
opens exactly at 7.30, and there sausage
are imported every two days, including on
Fridays, and from 7.00 to 7.25. In addition, from the testimony 
of sellers found that disappearances of sausage in the grocery 
store was not observed. 



  26/09/1996, Thursday, ibid


  After days of collecting information rented a room in the 
apartment. N8 of the ill-fated home to explore local 
attractions: Cafe Venice and Natsionalny Museum Vizvilnih 
Zmagan IM. Bandera (formerly the KGB museum to them. 
Dzerzhinsky). 

  Maloderov, faithful to his principles and his ex-wife decided 
to spend the night on the back seat of our car (well

although that is not in the trunk!)

  Get up early tomorrow, but still must be removed
from the couch fishing rods and other fishing prichandaly 
Mikola Stefanovic - elderly owner apartment, courtesy of 
depositing me a room at the this couple of days for the 15 
"umovnyh units." 



  09/27/1996, Friday, Ore, ul.Kennedi


  In the morning we met at the door of grocery store
N38: I - with the camera, Max - in the infrared spectacles 
(novelty of our tehlaboratorii). Well, funny he looked in them! 

  - Jeanne, you dyed your hair? - Asked incredulously 
Maloderov. - The infrared goggles, they seem to be much lighter.


  - No Max - I corrected him. - Just
before leaving the house, I dry them hairdryer.

  - Oh, that's it! Well, Auburn
color is best for you is ...

  Despite our careful preparation,
Expected flight never occurred. On the counter products will 
disappear only after the appearance of their monetary 
equivalent in cash. Besides birds, flying upward over the 
rooftops, and condoms filled with water, flying from the 
windows of upper floors down - on the sidewalk and the angry 
passers-by, which such read like "bomb" a local punks -

No more flying objects were reported.

  Hoax? False alarm? Cover,
to distract us from other investigations?
However, the source - Reliability: local
agent-informant since the time of the MGB.

  Maloderov believes that we have here
it is not a poltergeist - it is aperiodic. Hence, it is - a 
type of black magic, or, in extreme cases, telekinesis.


  And, therefore, a person moves
sausage effort of thought, already knows about our
arrival. Most likely, this is one of those
with whom we contacted during the investigation.

  So, what do we have? Every second time
when they bring the sausage, between the time
arrival of the van and the store opening materializes sausage 
and flies away house next door. And what if she just

Fly away from the counter or out of the van? ..



  09/29/1996, Sunday, Ore


  Tomorrow, the next delivery of sausages.

  We are all convinced that today, leaving at
three days in Lviv. This is a favorite maneuver
Detectives: in fact, we spend the night in
motel and the next morning we will observe
going undetected.



  09/30/1996, Monday

              Record on the recorder


  Voice of scalp:

  - Today is Monday, 6.55 am. Approaching the area paranormal 
aktianosti - Grocery store N38. Here is approaching the van 
with meat products ... (Pause). Time - 7.05. The van stopped in 
meat products the entrance to the grocery store ... (Pause). 
Employees grocery store started to unload the open

boxes of sausage ... Max! In the box
was fishing hook! God, she flies!

  Voice Maloderova:

  - Take off! Let not my glasses, and e. .. (Gap
record). Sausage shoot!

  - Click here! Click! Click-click!

  Voice of scalp:

  - Departed ... Maloderov, what do you say?

  Voice Maloderova:

  - I saw some sort of shake ... twitching strip ... thread ... 
over sausage. Maybe it was a fishing line? .. Someone fished 
the sausage out of the box! 

  Voice of scalp:

  - So that's how to fly it a UFO?
But the sausage did not disappear before! Flying, yes, but not 
out of the box ... (Pause). 

  Voice Maloderova:

  - Marichka! How do you carry this sausage?

  The voice of a young girl:

  - Oh, excuse me, excuse me! I deceived you, sir Maloderov ... 
(Pause; sobs). Pan Maloderov, you know, every time case, this 
hell, I bought instead of missing another sausage! Buying, 
because I was afraid ... afraid that I was fired, accused of 
stealing! Excuse me, sir Maloderov! .. (Sobs;

pause). Pan Maloderov and what have you got on
head?

  Voice Maloderova:

  - (Inaudible) ... at!

  Voice of an elderly man:

  - Jeanne Filippovna, would you like buterbrodik with sausage?

  Voice of scalp:

  - No thanks. I'm a vegetarian ... (Pause). Oh, what a scrape 
on the emery cloth? 

  - Yes here, I tried it ... Kovyrnul knife.

  - No, Nikolai Stefanovich, wrong!
This is a trail of fish hook! It is YOU so sophisticated way of 
stealing the sausage grocery store! Not for you nothing is 
sacred! 

  - Do not prove a thing!

  - No, I'll show! We have slides, which are clearly visible 
rod sticking out of your window, and on the fishing line - 
loose stick "Moscow at a cost of eighty hryvnia

according to the certified list price!

  - Rotten! Framed me, e. .. (Space
recorded).

  - Hold your tongue, goat! You're dealing with
SBU officer ... (Gap in the record) ... For
foot and a brick wall!



  10/01/1996, Tuesday, Kiev


  Thus, the case under the grotesque name of "The
Flying Sausage "closed.

  Egghead Fisher received a total 5
days for disorderly conduct and antiderzhavnitsky way of 
thinking, expressed in verbal abuse SBU, and to reimburse the 
cost of Marichka five sticks of "Moscow" sausage of list price 
plus a mark-up on this sausage at a commercial kiosk and moral 
damages. 

  So now I can take a vacation and
Finally, the rest (with make-something!) -
as a white woman!


          To be continued ...