Nicron #114 06 ноября 1999

Юмор

Humor - Seven tips to combat viruses.

            Seven tips
        Anti-virus

(C) Natali
http://kshu.web.dp.ua/

(Inspired by an advertisement aunt Asi)


   In our time the universal computerization of the problem of 
computer viruses known to everyone. The consequences of viruses 
may be the most different, but always they bring nothing but 
trouble. 


   And despite the fact that even armed with all the various 
tests and "doctors" of the elementary rules for the prevention 
of computer viruses, many do not even know.



   So we decided to give you some useful recommendations,
thus safe from this scourge (and your headache!).



   Rule one:
Before using the computer (no matter in what order) for a long 
time and wash your hands thoroughly with soap SafeGuard (!). 
Then rinse them in boiled water (cooled, of course) and 
thoroughly wipe clean starched cloth. 


   Rule two:
Working on the computer and breathe just a nose! Roth even try 
to open only in exceptional cases. Indeed, in the mouth - as 
say doctors - collects a huge number of germs! By the way, you 
have already acquired the protective screen? If No - must get a 
gauze bandage and a computer working in it.



   Rule Three:
Before you insert the floppy into the drive, do not forget to 
pre-soaked in alcohol. When performing this procedure plays an 
important role capacity drive. For example, for the amount of 
360 KB floppy disks (if they are someone else is using) some 
minutes, 1.44 - already about 10-15 minutes. Closely monitor 
the time. Better to last longer: if virus probably die.



   Rule Four:
With CD-ROMs should be done differently. Before using
thoroughly clean out their already proven means of Comet (even 
better - a new Comet). Do not hesitate - Comet perfectly clean 
even the deepest track and give your discs a feeling of 
freshness and novelty. 


   Rule five:
Pad and the mouse is known to operate in the most unhygienic
conditions and at the same time are the direct sources of 
contamination PC: after the mouse goes to all components of your

desktop. Therefore, respect for their personal hygiene - is 
your bounden duty. For the mouse, each of you take care of 
their own (This is very personal hygiene), but the mat 
preferably at least once a week to iron both sides of a hot 
iron. 


   Rule Six:

   Handling keyboard.
Carefully disconnect the keyboard from the system unit (if it
Of course, attached to it) and soak the whole night in a good 
detergent. In the morning check - otmokli whether all 
suspicious virus small particles. Especially closely follow 
along with keys Enter, Esc, Shift, Ctrl and F1-F10. Only fully 
convinced that the virus has left the keyboard, remove it, 
rinse with clean water and dry them in a pre- heated oven. When 
you hear a slight odor of burning, you can safely pull the 
keyboard: viruses that were not drowned - already burned.


   Also, working on the keyboard, you should not remove her 
protective cover, which was purchased along with the keyboard. 
Work with it you will of course be a little harder, but much 
safer. 


   Rule Seven:
Everyone probably already know that the virus can also pick up
via email. Therefore, to achieve 100% protection against 
viruses coming through this brilliant creation of mankind, it 
suffices to take scissors and cut the cable, which stretches 
from the modem. Everything is so simple - is not it? 


   And yet, if, despite all the precautions you have failed to 
protect your computer from becoming infected - do not despair, 
but take our good advice: the infected computer to provide bed 
rest. Do not worry, none of the home will not be much 
objection. On the contrary, all will be happy.


   However, seeing all the charm of the disease the computer 
because of which you have finally fixed the closet door, put 
new tile in the bathroom, repaired the stove and etc. and so, 
after recovering the computer, they will try their best to re 
infect it in order to you paid particular attention to everyday 
life. 


   So now one of the most dangerous and unpredictable sources 
of infection can become your home. 


   And in order to get rid of ...


   Rule eight:
Buy a jar of dichlorvos, wear a gas mask and night, is 
uniformly sprayed on the flat ... 

(C) Natali '99