Jokes - a compilation of anecdotes.

<b>Jokes</b> - a compilation of anecdotes.

                           . · · · · · · Jokes

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Chechnya, 31 dekabrya.molodogo fighter put in dozor.starshina 
says: - All Chechens terrible, with long beards ... as you see 
shoot, otherwise you will be bad.

night, half dvenadtsatogo.molodoy soldier sees: climbs muzzle 
with a long beard, he is his machine gun, grenade ... ran to the

Sergeant:
- Comrade Sergeant ... there climbing with a beard ... I had a 
machine gun ... grenade ...

- Ah ... that's because of these bastards like you never santa 
claus in Chechnya will not get ... 


dear guys, yesterday's New Year's holiday parties! those
who received two gifts and more, please return at least bag
coat and beard. and, please, release the Snow Maiden, you do 
not so understand ...


                                                 Your Santa 
Claus. 


family to ring round a few companies and books of Santa Claus.
dver.vhodit call to santa claus. Suddenly a shot-santa claus
falls. behind him is hired ubiytsai asks:
- Santa Claus ordered?


santa claus bomb planted in a bag,
and a gift to this boy handed.
not dancing little boy, a song does not sing,
even the cap is no longer on what to wear.


walking santa claus gifts spread out under the tree. then a kid 
comes running up from behind and says: - Ahhh, here you are, 
Grandfather Frost, now I know that you really exist! Santa 
Claus turns around and says: - Boy, you saw me. I have to kill 
you. 


Grandfather Frost come in a kindergarten. jumping, dancing, in 
general, everyone is happy! wipes his boots and calmly walks 
away. Children:

- Grandpa, where are you?
Santa Claus:
- In the Siberia-home!
Children:
- But what about gifts?
Santa Claus:
- Understand! It's time to believe in their parents!


got a little boy on Christmas skazku.idet it in the winter 
woods and goes to great snow clearing one hundred 
polyanu.posredi um Santa Claus and Snow Maiden holding a 
scythe, swinging it over the goal marketing.

- Grandpa, "says the boy-release it, it also hurts!
- It does not hurt - tired of answering my grandfather - she's 
dead! 


New Year in efiopii.izgolodavshiesya children sobrolis under a 
bush in wait grandfather moroza.poyavlyaetsya Santa Claus 
greets children with pr azdnikom and is going to leave.

- Grandfather Frost, gifts?
- As gifts only to those who eat well.


in Paris, the famous restaurant "Maxim", is New shou.v
smoke drunk new Russian beckons the waiter and asks:
- Bro, you have frog legs?
- Of course, monsieur!
- Well, then quickly sprygay to the buffet for a beer! ..


New Year's Eve my mother persuaded her son to sleep:
- Look, there's my aunt in the TV already stripped ...


son-father:
- Daddy, why are you so high on candy Christmas tree hung?
- What would you have them, baby, until the new year is not 
eaten. - So what am I, Daddy, serpentine eat? "



- How to distinguish a snowman on the snow woman?
- Very simple, it is necessary to see where the kids stuck a 
carrot! 


Newspaper ad: "Ladies and gentlemen, make a new year
their children a memorable, invite a Santa Claus! "
p.s. Gentlemen, do not deprive yourself and this evening for 
pleasure - To invite the Snow Maiden.



month of July. Commission arrives at a children's hospital with 
a check, comes into the hall and sees: in the middle of the 
hall stands tree (decorated with New Year's bells and 
whistles), and around this tree with my grandfather Babes Frost 
and Snow Maiden dance lead. stunned Commission resorting to the 
head physician: -That you have the hall is going on?

-Like what? New Year was celebrated.
-New Year is in January.
-Well, so they will not survive until January.


Santa Claus comes to a psychiatrist and says:
- Doctor, help! I myself do not believe it.


comes as a man on the street, he sees - a woman sitting in a 
puddle. - Then you're sitting in a puddle?

- Or maybe I'm Snow Maiden, and maybe I rasstayala!


the son asked the single mother:
- Mama, Mama, and who my dad?
- Santa Claus! - Evil meets mom
- What is it? - Wondering boy.
- Came at night, made the gift, and more of it never seen 
before.