Promised Land #01 31 декабря 2000

Fun - a compilation of jokes.

                 FUN



  But is it worth the trouble that hemorrhoids?


  Protect the homeland - a rest abroad!


  In the army, much is unclear, but all right.


  In a love triangle one angle is always
obtuse.


  The great Russian painter Levitan was born
a poor Jewish family ...


  Faith without the facts - this is fantasy, and facts
without faith - is depression.


  Spring ... Buds swell, blossom
hands ...


  Perpetual motion did not invent, but
around any number of eternal brakes ...


  View of one woman to another like luggage control at the 
customs. 


  While drinking, we feel ourselves as individuals. The next 
morning - the body. 


  Time to scatter stones and a time to gather
dejected.


  All the great long dead, and I
something not feeling well ...


  All women are pregnant. Only by one ...


  I'm out on the beach, look - work no end ...


  It is said that a drop of nicotine kills the horse. How much 
of my horsepower? 


  The only place where a man can
feel free - it's family
Panties.


  If you are not sure that the dogs
must walk systems - in the army you do
nothing!


  If you want something, think about why you have this still 
does not. And relax. 


  If you went to the wife - remember how you
achieved this.


  If your parents had no children,
you they will likely also not be ...


  If the third day, as you want
to sleep, so today - Wednesday.


  Eat lots of pea soup - country
need gas!


  A woman cares more about its beauty, than about the mind, 
because man is easier to look, what to think.



  Women do not follow bad advice, they
they are ahead.


  Life - this is what happens to us
as long as we make plans for the future.


  Life as a perch in the henhouse: short and all in deep shit.


  A drop of nicotine kills five minutes of working time.


  When a person with a weak stomach eats
fatty foods, every time he hopes that
blow over, and every time ... no mistakes.


  Red wine good for health. A
health need to drink vodka.


  Who wants to, he will do, who are looking for, he
plucked!


  The lottery - a tax on people who do not
strong in mathematics.


  Love - is what binds a man and a
a woman after they were dressed.


  Madam, excuse me, I'm not an archaeologist ...


  We get no money for work, and the difficulty with which we 
receive them. 


  On the next course Kasparov Karpov said mat.


  Head is not always right, but he always
Head.


  It is not always wisdom comes with age.
Often come years alone.


  Do not eat in front of a mirror, happiness proesh;
Do not drink before a mirror, happiness spend on drink ...
A mirror in the toilet is generally better not to hang ...


  Should not be on Friday to seek a reason to drink. Friday - 
this is an excuse. 


  The operation failed - that's half the successful opening.


  Advertisement: Please return lost bag with the documents for 
a decent or indecent rewards. 


  One head is good, but with the brain - the better!


  In terms of price and quality khalyavnykh
Beer has no competitors.


  Descendants! The future will necessarily
light! And pass on to their descendants!


  Somehow, every unhappy family one
always a pervert, and another - a fool.


  Born to crawl everywhere crawl through.


  It goes sailing into the hands of just what does not sink.


  The most dangerous creature - a toad: she strangled more than 
half of the globe. 


  Light my mirror ... Shut up, I approached my hair ...


  Power is, will have - no willpower ...


  Miser pays twice, stupid pays three times the Loch - 
permanently. 


  Sponsor - a person who part with the money is easier than to 
explain, where they came from.



  Happiness - when you realize, a misfortune
- When you got to the core.


  Your parents, incidentally, is not physics? And then
You look like a failed experiment.


  That each work must begin
with the break, absolutely does not mean that every cigarette 
break should end work. 


  Traditionally, black wins in the race, and
white - in the shooting ...


  Coward - is melting in the singular.


  We all - as in Paris, just at home
lower da asphalt thinner!


  The mind takes one barrier after another, but stupidity knows 
no barriers. 


  Morning make-up - is to restore the person on the skull.


  Human stupidity gives an idea
to infinity.


  What kind of booze, if the next
day is not a shame?


  He who laughs last, someone to fall more widely.


  Want to make God laugh? Tell him about
their plans for the future!


  Six Mercedes - a Mercedes,
which is placed in the garage area of ​​6 hectare.


  This is not a bald spot! This is such a wide parting!


  Humor is shiny and matte. Last user friendly.